I was out of town for a little while at the Catalyst One Day event in Granger Indiana. Honestly, I was having blogging withdrawls. It’s taken a few hours for the DT’s to settle down, but I think I’m ready to blog again.
Granger was fun…when I think of Indiana, I typically imagine some place about 20 minutes away from me rather than over 4 hours away. This was getting up close to Chicago. Granger Community Church hosted the Catalyst event and man…that place was amazing.
Tim and I went to get a dose of high-quality nuts and bolts leadership training and it was well worth it. I looked to be the youngest person there, but that’s nothing new. It’s an honor to be absorbing such important things like this so early…I’m just praying I’ll steward them well.
For some reason, God has brought a block of scripture to my attention over the last two weeks. This scripture has come up multiple times in multiple venues and there’s a reason for that…there’s always a reason. I’ve decided to teach on this scripture next weekend at Vineyard Westside. It’s in Romans chapter 12 and it says this:
1 Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God–this is your spiritual act of worship.
2 Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is–his good, pleasing and perfect will. 3 For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you. 4 Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, 5 so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. 6 We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man’s gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to hisfaith. 7 If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach;
8 if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully.
You see, I’ve got this problem. As a pastor I see a lot of Christians very often. What I don’t see, however, is a lot of people who are LIVING SACRIFICES…I don’t see a lot of people who AREN’T CONFORMING TO THE PATTERNS OF THIS WORLD…I don’t see a lot of people who are TRANSFORMED WITH RENEWED MINDS…I don’t see a lot of people who are LIVING OUT THEIR GIFTS.
This is a problem.
Now don’t get me wrong…some of them are. But if I’m honest with myself, I have to admit I struggle with these very same things. The trouble is that we as Christians - the followers of Jesus - aren’t reflecting the ONE we claim to follow very well at all. Mahatama Ghandi said, “I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.” - Ouch.
So here’s what I need from you:
Leave a comment expressing what frustrates you about Christians. Now I realize that many of you who read this blog are Christians and many of you are not. Please try to leave a comment without bashing (or preaching to) another commenter thus proving exactly what I am talking about.
I will use these comments in my upcoming message to get some real-world answers. You can say whatever you want here…this is a safe place. You can even make up a name and post anonymously if you wish. So…
What is it that drives you nuts about these people who claim to follow this Jesus?
168 Comments
What drives me most nuts about Christians is that they rarely put up a good fight and they taste no better than chicken.
Signed,
A Roman Lion
{reply}
Ooooh. Good post. What do I hate? Well, coming from a non-christian background to working in a church, there was a lot that bothered me (and led me to finding work elsewhere.) I hate that many (certainly not all) churches are run like a business. I hate the whole churchy SUBCULTURE. I hate that christians have their own language. I hate that they worry more about cussing and drinking (of which I happily do both) instead loving one another. I hate how in some places there is no rebuking, and in others, that’s all that it seems to be. I hate how many Christians are afraid to challenge or be challenged. I hate how, sometimes, I feel like I’m the only Christian trying to follow His word, and how, other times, I’m the only trying to relax and just love people.
Wow, that was quite cathartic. I hope this helps. In the end, I would still rather have the broken, messed up Church (i.e. every follower of Christ) that we do have, than no church at all.
{reply}
I love your post today…this is something that I’ve really be struggling with. I was raised in church. I’ve always been taught to live a ‘good’ life even though most of the time; I haven’t followed the right paths. There are times when I feel like I’m under conviction to give my life to the Lord, but then I sit in the back of the church and look at the people that claim they live the good life, and I don’t want to be like them. The Christians I know are rude and hateful; they gossip and only look out for only themselves. I try not to judge them. I give them all the respect and kindness that I want. But what I see with my own eyes is what’s so hard to deal with. An 11 year old girl that has been in the church her whole life had surgery, the pastors didn’t visit her. A family is about to lose everything, they don’t offer any help. In church, they act like they care about me, when I pass them in the store, they won’t even speak to me. Are all churches like this?? I don’t understand. I try to. I know I should go to church for my own reasons and not for them, but it’s hard. Pray for me…I need it.
{reply}
I’m a Christian, so I’ll throw myself into my criticism.
We don’t know how to articulate what we believe. We regurgitate rather than dive in and live it.
We’re obsessed with being culturally relevant but don’t notice the brokenness around us. And that’s the real reality of the world we’re in.
We are not vulnerable. We don’t listen. We don’t love.
{reply}
This is directed at myself. What drives me crazy is Christians who judge. I fight this in myself on a daily basis and I am slowly overcoming it. I remind myself that God loves those I judge as much as He loves me and I am certainly not perfect! He loves me where I’m at and I should love others without conditions.
Great post Ryan!
{reply}
Definition of Christian - Someone who is better than you no matter what because they classify themselves as a “Christian”. These people are the first to critize and the last to look in a mirror to see that the faults they are critizing are much of the same ones they themselves show.
{reply}
Say they care about people, and then turn around and judge them.
{reply}
I think my biggest complaint is that more times than not the “Christian” person judges whomever then turns around and does the same thing they just deemed inappropriate. No one’s perfect by any means & I don’t claim to be either but I do try to practice what I preach.
{reply}
My experience is that people can suck no matter what religion (or not) they are. I just expect more from my brothers and sisters, and thus am disappointed by them when they are @$$h*l3$.
BTW
Pastor Ryan, you are dreamy!
{reply}
i’ve got to agree with a few of the others. I really hate those who are “holyier than thou”. That they turn their backs on those who aren’t straight up doing what they are taught in the church. But looking into their lives, they are just as bad, if not worse. And somehow they turn it around to make it seem that they are not in the wrong… only you.
There are way too many like this in my church, and to be truthful, it has turned me away. I find it hard to be active in a religion/church when their members are the opposite in what they beleive. They might look sqeaky clean to the everyday person who sees them but digging deeper, it’s all a show.
{reply}
Hmmm. Sounds like we have a trend here. My biggest sin is judging judgemental Christians. It’s so hard to remember we are not the judge, that Christ loved (and loves) all of us, that we are ALL God’s children.
{reply}
We have in the past attended a large church. I feel like an outsider. I sit and listen and feel very removed from all of it. They want my money - that’s about all. Now I know a church needs money to function, but there is not a week that I’m not asked to make my regular donation as well as a couple more. There is no personalization - after months of attending this church no one knows my name. I see the people who sit there week after week being rude out in public. They aren’t friendly, loving, God-fearing people when they aren’t in church. I want to attend a church where people live their life as God would want, not just show up on Sunday morning and believe it’s all good. It’s sad - do people really believe attending church once a week makes them a Christian?
{reply}
Christians who hold others to a standard yet make their own rules for themselves and don’t even get that you are watching… My second peeve is what I call Jesus lipservice. They’ve got those annoying cliches that they all use like it makes them more holy. What a turn off!
{reply}
The judgement on and lack of mercy for others. The idea that you have to present yourself in a certain way to be thought of as a “good” christian. The lack of understanding that if you never change in your heart, all the “religious” stuff is futile. And specifically, at the church I came from, that one I had belonged to for my whole life, that they never taught me anything about having a real, authentic relationship with Jesus. I just followed the rules all those years and thought that was all there was. I’m kind of pissed about that but I’m trying to forgive.
{reply}
I’m a Christian myself - that’s my background in saying this.
I think the saddest thing is when the things that we believe don’t show up in a regular lives - whether that means the negative ways we treat others (judgment, gossip, piety, rudeness, exclusiveness) or the things that we aren’t involved in (caring for the sick, the poor, the broken, the orphans).
We are very often far too involved in our own little worlds.
{reply}
In the last year I have come to see and believe that (not all, but a lot) of people (christians) think they are separate from Christ.
I left my bible study last year because of this. Women (again not all of them) but a lot of them were sad with a “whoa is me” mentality wanting Jesus to “fix” things for them Jesus said “My spirit I leave with you” The same spirit (life) that was breathed into Jesus was breathed into us at the beginning of our creation. The very thing that animated Jesus animates us. God’s breath. people don’t believe this they think they are weak, useless, and can’t do anything. Until all christians know that the divine power of God is what they truly are (not their minds) they won’t live up to what they can live up to. Jesus said “Nothing is impossible” People do not believe that. So they don’t set forth and they won’t try. People don’t know their “true self”. I hope deeply that all people can know who they truly are. We would have New Heaven and a New Earth for sure.
{reply}
Hmm. I’m not sure I’ll use the word hate, but things that sadden me? Mind you I am just as guilty with this one. Judging others…Life would be much more lovely if we just embraced each person unconditionally, completely, and judgment free.
And I really don’t like it when someone tries to force feed me their religious beliefs. It makes me squirm and want to run the other direction. *flee*
{reply}
What bothers me most are entire congregations throughout the United States… entire denominations who recite “The Gospel” but do not truly READ the word. I am so blessed that my husband and I recognized the error of this and sought an “amazing church in the valley” with a small congregation that reads the word and helps each other LIVE the word. In accordance with this…. I cannot bring myself to put a bumper sticker on my car that would identify myself with a denomination…. because first, each denomination is a room in the house of the Lord, and second, I know if I put a bumper sticker on my car that identfies me as a certain kind of Christian, I will be sized up by Christians and Non-Christians alike. Thirdly, nothing I can ever do or say would be enough to honor my savior…. I will spend my entire life trying to honor my savior, and I like it that way.
{reply}
Before I write my comment, I should forewarn that I am completely disenchanted with Christianity. This is based on the behaviors and attitudes of most of the Christians I know. So, if I come across as bitter it’s because the wounds are still bleeding.
1. Many Christians portray a sense of superiority/privilege. This negates the idea of a humble messiah.
2. They are quick to judge anybody that is not a clone of themselves, and resistant to forgive.
3. The purpose of mission trips to other countries is questionable to me. Is it that they are really going to help or that they are fulfilling their desire for vain glory? If they really want to help, why do they have to leave the country? There are people here who desperately need help.
4. The ease with which they lie…
5. Many seem to think that they can do anything they want because they are already forgiven…but nobody else is.
6. Many have told me that the treasures they have gotten here (big houses, big cars, thrice yearly vacations) are because they are living “the good life”. Does that mean that poor people are bad?
I got my fill of Christians when I was told that I should commit suicide because I was going to go to Hell for being divorced anyway.
{reply}
I’m disappointed in fellow Christians when they complain about the little things at their church that are so insignificant. The church service is too long, the music is too loud, the worship/praise time is too long…blah, blah, blah. What do they think heaven is going to be like? Give Jesus 15 minutes and then walk on the streets of gold home to my mansion? Probably not. Find something important to talk about. Like, why haven’t I shared Jesus with all my friends that don’t know Him?
{reply}
I was raised as a Muslim * I formally practice nothing at the moment but am always seeking to find my place*. Being raised that way *orthodox or sunni muslim*, I was taught that there would be “people of the books”, in paradise, not just muslims. I had a very good *I thought* friend who became a born again christian and then told me that I was going to go to hell as I did not believe like she did. She also told me that she could no longer talk to me. We were friends, we did a lot of things together, our families broke bread together many times and then..wham!
I find that most christians are a judgemental lot and that’s putting it mildly.
Sign me:
Confused
{reply}
Also, Dallas Willard writer of the Spirit of the Disciplines wrote that 1/3 of the worlds population claims to be Christian if we are the salt of the earth and there is 1/3 of pound of us and the world is consider a pound of meat the Christians should be well able to preserve the world. But this is not happening. So many christians don’t live as Christians. Not that it’s easy, we all lose focus and make mistakes sometimes but for the most part so many Cristians are not focused and aware most of the time.
I left two comments now, does that mean I can’t post tomorrow?
{reply}
My home church! I’m glad you liked it
{reply}
Wow, that was an awesome post. I have been struggling with these same thoughts. I wonder why “Christians” will sit back and say we need to be doing something, but they never get out of the chair. I have tried very hard lately to remind myself that everything I do, is an
expression of my love for God. I am certainly not perfect and will be the first to tell anyone who asks. But I really want to make a difference and hope by at least trying to set an example that I don’t come off as a holier than thou type of person.
Sometimes the line seems very thin and hard to walk.
{reply}
What aggravates me to death are Christian parents who set bad examples for their kids. I’m nut just talking about people who make parenting mistakes, duh, no ones perfect. No ones even even near perfect. I’m talking about people who just straight out don’t try. Their Christian walk is priority number 3 or 4. Spiritual growth isn’t even a blip on the radar. And then they wonder what happened. Hmmm I wonder, you skipped church for every reason imaginable, you set a horrible example for your kids in how you behaved as a parent and as a person and then what happened someone becomes a mystery. Yea, I’m biased, I had great parents. I’m not saying be as good as my parents, I’m just saying to try. Its worth the effort.
{reply}
I think so many people hold Christians to a higher standard that is impossible for us to achieve. We are human, first and foremost, and therefore we are sinners and are flawed ugly individuals. What I think is so amazing about Jesus’ sacrifice for me is that I don’t have to clean myself up to accept it. He takes me as I am, ugly, flawed, bitter, angry, imperfect, and offers eternity to me. My goal as a follower of Christ is to “one another” others (our pastor has been doing a powerful series on this), love, encourage, pray for, support one another, etc. I have been a Christian since I was 8 years old and was so complacent for so long. I am hungrily reading my Bible now and asking God for ways to serve Him. I fail every single day, but I know that I can go to Him and ask forgiveness and try again. My biggest desire is to serve Him and to encourage my children to do the same.
Another thing that makes me so sad is when people accept Christ and then are disenchanted when things aren’t perfect in their lives. God didn’t promise us ease or the “good life.” He promised redemption and forgiveness. Believe me, it has not been easy to live my faith. I lost my brother to disease when he was 16, 13 years ago. I lost my dad to disease when he was 54, 4 years ago. We’ve watched several family members die of an unnamed illness. We’ve been through financial struggles and trials, yet through all of it, my parents held firm to their faith and believed that God was walking with them. My husband and I do the same. We trust that His will is perfect and we try to obey Him. So much of this stuff is easier said than done, but I continue to try.
{reply}
I was raised in the church and continue to go to my “home” church but my biggest issue is people who push there beliefs on you in a misguided thought that there beliefs are more valid then everyone else’s. And I dislike people who talk the talk but don’t or won’t walk the walk. they talk about unconditional love but only extend this love in real life to those they deem worthy.
{reply}
What I find heart breaking is that many Christians only see the word as being black and white. They hate those who are different, and they don’t show love to those who don’t fit their ‘churchy’ mold.
Was the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah a statement of the unholy lifestyles of the residents of those cities only? Was it also a statement of the failure of those who live in dark places to be salt and light and to share the love of Him who created us?
{reply}
What frustrates me most is pointed directly at myself. I belief that the message christians have is unique, all inclusive and the only way. I belief there are hard truths that our culture is not so willing to embrace: righteousness (what does that mean today?), living in the world but not allowing it to swallow us up, setting a standard that is difficult for all to achieve (check the bible for how it assumes christians will live) and offering a message that is politically incorrect (the message in the bible is that the only way to God is through Jesus). Sometimes even if you communicate these truths in love, they are not received that way. You are assumed to be “judging” or narrow-minded etc. Now, I’m not excusing christians who have behaved in a way that some of today’s commenters have experienced. But I think we have to recognize that Jesus promised that our lives would not be about winning popularity contests. The message we have is a difficult one - one that insists on us relinquishing our rights. What I’m trying to express is the frustration of truly living the hard words of Jesus, without that coming across as a judgment on other people.
{reply}
Christ went to the places that were considered un-Godlike and he spent time and loved people who were considered un-Godlike, the Samaritans for example.
I hate that as Christians we find ourselves sharing the word of God with people who already have it instead of making friends, joining groups and getting involved with things that are not tied to our own congregation or religion.
I’ve found that as I’ve been trying to find time to help with a humanitarian organization, people from church wonder why I’m going outside of church to help people. Why not help within the structure of my own church? The answer is simple really. I want to help, I want to do it now and I want to do it my own way. I’m not concerned with doing something that will make it into the local paper or give me any of the praise in any way.
We as Christians sometimes are only able to think within our own religious box and can’t seem to find a way to see things outside of that box. I don’t want to be a box christian.
{reply}
first of all i’m sad i can’t come to church that weekend…i’ll be in chi town for turkey day…but with my fam so thats good!
And I couldn’t agree with you more, I just started reading irresistable revoultion by Shane Claiborne and already it has my mind stiring i’m barely into the second chapter…
What I don’t like about church, and Christians….it all comes across fake…no one is the church, the best example of the church has nothing to do with the church, sad that we don’t love like were supposed to. It’s all so political, and everyone is so consumed with themselves they dont’ see anyone else, or the hurt thats their and even when they are helping someone else they are thinking about how good it makes them feel, or how it makes them look…sad
{reply}
what is it that drives me nuts about Christians…
how are they un-Christ like…
lots of things… like:
-worship only happens in a church
-Sunday is the Lords (only) day
-One issue voting
-that they are (in my area)republicans by identity not by conviction
-lack of passion
-lack of conviction
-judgmental
-they don’t stand out
-they don’t really know what it means to follow Jesus… to be like him, to sacrifice self will.
-don’t study or research the truth… if one person says something (preacher) they believe it 100%, they don’t challenge the preacher, the political view, the issues of the day,
-they don’t stand up for social injustices
-they have an opinion and are unwavering in their ignorance
-they are pharisaic yet you mention being like a pharisee and they know that’s bad
-cold hearted
-selfish
-limited generosity
these are just some of my initial thoughts… not sure if I could boil it down to one or prioritize… I probably could summarize but just not sure I even want to give any more effort to negative thinking, that doesn’t bring me anywhere.
the long and short of it, there are people in this movement who appear to be more similar to Jesus than others in the movemeent. But we’re all broken living in a broken world… I have to learn, and re-wash my thoughts in grace even after this short response… I want them to be different and that’s a part of God’s heart. But another part is his love for me, where I am, without me changing anything. Now that’s grace.
{reply}
I’m an atheist, and I attended 6 years of Catholic school as a kid so I guess I have some background knowledge of Christianity too. I must say that I don’t have a lot of personal experience with Christians being overly judgmental, but that could be a function of the areas where I’ve lived in recent memory (8 years in Boston, and the last 2 years in Toronto). I have some pretty good friends who would describe themselves as conservative Christians, and we’ve had some good arguments about religion and various issues like abortion, and we can respectfully agree to disagree at the end of the day, and understand where the other party is coming from.
What I strongly dislike is the “Christian right” political movement, which seeks to write Christian moral beliefs into law. There are 300 million people in the US, many of whom have widely differing views on these personal beliefs. Let’s keep the US a free country - if you (Christians…not you personally) want people to stop doing something you think is wrong, please try to convince them with your words and actions, not by force (the law), and respect that some people will choose to disagree.
{reply}
I am a Christian and am lumped together will all the rest of “us”. But we’re all at different places in our spiritual growth and are at very different levels of maturity. Often spiritual maturity and “non-spiritual maturity” are entwined and some people will never meet expectations. I can know a great deal about Biblical teachings on love and relationships but if I don’t let it change me, I still won’t get along with people. I’d be like a teenager who can say the right words but can’t translate them into action.
We might know in our heads that accepting Christ will change us and not the other person. But we don’t like it and continue to try to change them instead of just loving them.
I don’t like when Christians are called intolerant (a much over-used word) because I don’t believe it. I tolerate much in people in order to form relationships with them, while still helping them understand I don’t have to approve of their actions.
Keep posting - I enjoy your thoughts.
{reply}
Great Post . . . “Living Sacrifice”. I was raised to know and love God and His Son, Jesus. I was taught to love God’s Word and to obey it. I’ve studied it and taught from it. I’ve been involved in areas of ministry my whole life. I’m actively involved in ministry within my home church and I also make my living by working full time in my home church. It’s the only “job” I’ve ever had. I’m 34 years old and I’m done with “church” as I’ve known it, I’m done with living my “christian life” as I’ve known it. I don’t want to be known as a Christian. I don’t want the T-Shirt, I don’t want the bumper sticker and the Jesus Jewelry. I don’t want to wear the hairstyle and I don’t want to talk the language. I just want to make Jesus beautiful. I want to be a living sacrifice. No signs needed to point me out, no definitions or identifications needed. Just being a Living Sacrifice that makes Jesus beautiful. Living my life as a sacrifice to Him means I don’t need to tell anyone that I’m sacrificing, my walking and talking and living and loving and serving and shopping and being a wife to my husband and being a friend and working and breathing will make Jesus beautiful.
{reply}
I think we shelter ourselves too often, not wanting to “be exposed” to the world– and then miss every opportunity to minister to those in the world. I hate it that non-Christians I know do a better job of loving their neighbor (like the good Samaritan, for example) than I do.
I think it’s time for me, and a lot of other Christians, to get into the trenches and start doing work in the world. Without judging those we’re serving.
{reply}
What bothers me is that there are some Christians that don’t respect that other groups have other religions or beliefs and try to impose their Christian beliefs upon them. I don’t begrudge your belief in God but I consider myself agnostic. I personally will not try to convince you that my thoughts are the only right ones, so why should you try to convince me that Christianity is the only answer for me?
Another problem that I have is the large number of Christians that promote legislation that will not allow rights to groups based on “moral” arguments. Religion should not be reason that gay men and women cannot get married or have benefits within this country.
I know that not all Christians behave this way, but those that do are very vocal and hurtful.
{reply}
I get frustrated at “holiness” teaching. It has caused me - or rather I let it cause me - much stress in my walk with Jesus. In “holiness” churches there’s a “grace but…” message. You’ve been set free, delivered, your sins are paid for, the shackles are broken….Now, you better live right after all God did for you, you scum bag…Here are 10 steps to make sure you keep your righteousness:
1- ditch all your unholy friends
2 - read your Bible without fail everyday.
3 - pray for 2 hours a day or more
4 - fast weekly
5 - repent regularly to make sure you’re clean.
so on and so on…
It’s like setting me free so you can bind me up.
I don’t have a problem with teaching people disciplines. And encouraging each other and being accountable. But the disciplines should be about edifying and strengthening oneself. They make it sound like its the way to keep your salvation…If I’m not good enough/able enough to GET it, I’m surely not going to be able to KEEP it in my own strength by performance. It’s not what I have done, but what Jesus has done. Holiness should be a natural by-product and desire that comes from a real relationship with Jesus - not a prescription to maintain his love and acceptance.
GRRRR!
{reply}
And let me clarify that I am not innocent of putting religion above relationship. Thankfully God is working in me to break that off. I struggle against it often and still often find it hard to believe the Truth that God loves me. Period. Nothing can separate me from His love in Christ. NOTHING…And yet I micro-manage myself and often get into carefully measuring each step I take so as not to displease God. I think maybe the heart is in the right place, but this kind of living is based in fear. And this kind of fear is not of God.
{reply}
I’d have to say the facade is my biggest complaint. I was the odd girl out growing up in a baptist church. The person I was on Sunday morning was the same person I was every other day of the week, and I hated that that wasn’t true for everyone else. I hate that most Christians I encounter can’t have a rational discussion, they can’t agree to disagree.
Christian is a very powerful and scary word, and rightfully so, but more often than not, people wear like a clothing label, taking it off when it doesn’t fit right.
{reply}
The thing that gets me is how we’ve allowed ourselves the luxury of relaxing our standards so we don’t “offend” the unsaved. We try to remain so politically correct that we have become lukewarm. Most of the time, standing for Christ means standing against the flow of our culture - disrupting the peace, pointing fingers, and calling a spade a spade. Jesus didn’t walk away from sin, or downplay it, or even close his eyes to what was happening so as to not offend the sinner. Instead he approached the sin and the sinner with honesty and sincerity. When he needed to chastise he did so, when he needed to heal he did so, when he needed to love he did so. When he was confronted with a sinner he told them to “go and sin no more.” Do we do that? Nope. We push them to the fringe of the church and hope they change their sinful ways; but we never confront the sin. We just close our eyes, shake our heads, and “pray” for a miraculous intervention. Heaven forbid we show them what the Bible says about their lifestyle/actions/habits and risk hurting their feelings, resulting in them leaving the church. Even Christ encountered people who rejected him because it meant they’d have to change their ways (the story of the rich man).
{reply}
What a reaction! Maybe your prep is over - just share the responses.
I’m wondering if we don’t really have a Christian caste system where, based on certain “important” parameters, we’re assigned to some level of “acceptance” and dared to get out of it?
Then, I really believe that most (almost all?) Christians have no concept of GRACE (God’s or anyone else’s.) I want to be a graceful Christian.
Finally, I feel a great need to get a handle on the GLORY of God. We’re clueless here.
Thanks for the challenge.
{reply}
I hate how many Christians are afraid to get out of the comfort zone of the church bldg and do not think outside the bldg walls. I feel most of the same things that has been commented by others. I think there’s too many “feel good” and on the other end of the stick too many rebuking. There seems to be a problem with the middle. I hate man made doctrine that claims to be scriptural/Godly.
There!
{reply}
A few things that frustrate me about the church(I myself am guilty of many of these as well):
The constant need to try to turn the Gospel that is told in story into pithy t-shirts and bumper stickers.
The constant need to self identify as a Christ follower.
Caring more about family and church rights(and subsequently tied to a pro-rich political agenda) when God’s word is clear that we as the church are a people for the world.
Giving easy answers to messy situations.
Caring more about trying to clean up media than about how we actually love others in our own neighborhood.
The constant need to tout things as the latest and greatest in the church.
The mentality that Christians need to always be positive and upbeat, while missing all the lament present in the Bible.
{reply}
lack of authenticity to those that so desperately need it
{reply}
We’ve stretched, prodded, pushed, pulled, and removed the reality of who Christ truly was. We’re called to follow the Rabbi, be covered in the dust of His feet. Thus saying, we replicate our lives after His. I think as a whole, the church has a very skewed view of who He was and is. We’ve pushed ourselves to opposite extremes and transformed Jesus into the person we want Him to be. I think that’s what bothers me …
{reply}
I hate that Jesus loved even the lowliest of prostitutes, yet today’s “Christians” can’t find it in themselves to accept ANYONE who isn’t just like them. When did hate become a Christian virtue? Ghandi was right…
{reply}
Christians who try to make God’s Law conform to their lifestyles rather than complying to God’s Law in their lives.
{reply}
I think I have been saying exactly what you articulated in your piece. What gets under my skin is Christians who live like they don’t know Christ.
We ( Christians ) are as trapped by fear as anyone in this world. We don’t REALLY trust God. We THINK it’s all up to us…We have a hard time examining things we have set up as idols… We think it’s up to us to USE our gifts when in fact what we really need to do is SUBMIT our gifts….big, big difference my friend.
I love Oswald Chambers. The guy writes truth. He writes things that are hard to hear sometimes, but bang on.
This is something I wrote as I walk the walk of doing this Christian life in a more authentic way:
I’m a recovering business - administrator.
Previously driven by all things productive, motivational and rewardable.
Currently driven by all things true, honest and pure.
Previously devoted to things to fill the void.
Currently devoted to nothing that serves myself.
Previously devoted to acceptance and admiration of others.
Currently devoted to redeeming things others have passed by,
passed on, passed over or dismissed.
Life is too short to be plagued with worry, with fear and with
any sniff of doubt.
Life was made to be whole, complete and find it’s purpose in
redemption.
I’m a Wife. I’m a Mom. I’ve lived to be older than my Mother.
I understand the fragility of life.
I understand the permanence of kind words, actions and love
for those placed in our lives.
I live very far from perfection, but I am being perfected.
I live far very far from having it all, but I am supplied for.
I fight against wanting more and am learning to live with less.
I fight against judgement and am learning to live in awe of the gifts within others.
I fight for others on the things that matter. I fight against things unseen.
I am a warrior.
I am wholly REPURPOSED.
{reply}
Whatever happened to the word “sin?” It seems to have dropped from the modern Christian vocabulary. It’s ok to believe something is wrong, and it’s ok to say you believe it’s wrong. That’s not judging. Christians seem weak when they fall back on the judging thing as an excuse to fear the word sin.
You can accept people without condoning what you don’t agree with. My best friend is someone with whom I have many differences of opinion, religious and otherwise, but SHE’s my best friend, not her opinions. She loves me and I love her. She laughed at my political sign in the front yard - and I laughed with her, because I knew she’d NEVER vote for my choices, and vice versa!
The Imp, I’m sorry you’ve experienced hate from people who are “Christians.” I hope that you don’t judge us all by those. My sign may not look yours at the demonstration, but I don’t hate. (Ok, there’s someone who was severely cruel to me as a child and to my family - long story - and who admittedly I haven’t forgiven, and I struggle with my feelings about her, but it’s still not right to hate…)
{reply}
Thank you, I love this post. I have been lurking for months on your blog and honestly…it has renewed been a true renewal for me.
What bothers me most about Christians is that we are afraid to be moved. We are afraid to stand up…we are afraid of persecution for believing in what we believe…that somehow this might offend someone.
We have become complacent and tolerant of hatred toward ourselves, toward our God and toward our beliefs. It’s ok for us to fight for our beliefs. It’s ok to stand up and not tolerate the same hatred for which we are accused.
Thanks…once more for moving the spirit in my complacent, christian soul.
{reply}
What drives me really nuts about these people who claim to follow Jesus only do it when it’s convenient for them. Personally, I’m just a lost soul desperately trying to find my way back, and failing miserably.
{reply}
I have to say that what bothers me the most about Christians is their ignorance of God’s Word the Bible, and how little they actually read it for themselves. I think far more of us would be like Christ if we were really reading God’s Word for ourselves, seeking the Holy Spirit’s wisdom and guidance, instead of simply listening to what other people think God’s Word says - or who are simply expressing their “christian” opinion.
How can we be more like Christ? By studying his life, his words, and imitating him. We can’t truly imitate what we don’t know intimately.
There’s the rub. Too many Christians simply don’t know Christ intimately. They only know others who know him, or claim to know him. But he can be known. That’s what the Bible is for.
{reply}
I’m afraid I could name a few things about Christians that drive me crazy. But for brevity’s sake, I’ll stick with one thing that’s been on my mind (or, perhaps, on my heart) for a while now. I have a lot of trouble with Christians who live in a “Christian bubble,” who are so insulated that they can’t relate to people who aren’t just like them. It’s as if everything about their lives has to have a “Christian” label on it: they only listen to what they consider Christian music, only read what they consider Christian books, have conversations only about “Christian” things, have only Christian friends, etc. (These things aren’t necessarily bad, but I don’t think it’s good when Christians use them to isolate themselves from everyone else). The danger of “bubble Christians” is that they become unable — or unwilling — to engage with, and to love, people who are messed up, or hurting, or difficult. Walking with broken people through their pain and their problems can be uncomfortable, frustrating and exhausting. And if we truly love others more than we love ourselves, it means the things that hurt them will hurt us. It’s not easy. But it’s what Jesus did; he dove right in and interacted intimately with they very people most of society didn’t want to deal with.
{reply}
I can only speak from personal experience, Those things that have personally dettered me in my walk, and what’s left of it.
I was raised in the church setting from childhood and broke away from that whole mentality when I turned 18 or so. I don’t connect myself with the church or Christianity at all in my life anymore, I still believe in One God and Christ, but, I cannot come to call myself Christian.
I was in a large church, and unlike others I’ve heard who attended such sized places, I didn’t feel lost or alone. I’m at home in a crowd. However I felt at home in the Older crowd, not the Teen youth crowds where I was designated to learn.
Perhaps it’s wrong of me to hold the youth of Christianity to the same standards as the adults of the faith. They seemed hollow, they show up early to talk and share with each other, but so often newcomers were ignored or otherwise brushed away. There would be times that my school activities (required for graduation) would get in the way of the mid weekly services or youth groups, and I would always hear “Oh, we missed you last week, where were you?” and so often, I would have no idea who these people were outside of their name and whose son or daughter they were, they never talked to me.
Or worse it would seem as though when we went on retreats or missions, I’d form connections with the girls in my cabins and sleeping groups. We’d share what we learned and felt in our personal studies, we’d grow into what seemed like great friends. We’d pour out our hearts and cry with each other of things we were too ashamed to admit in a normal group. Still once we returned to the church, all that was erased, I’d approach them and start to talk, and it seemed as though they’d no idea who I was.
I began venturing into the Young Adult study groups and worships, hoping to find that with older ages would come… older mindsets I suppose. Truer ‘Christians’ and not facades. I was the youngest in the groups, they let me join when I was 17 despite being so young, and all I found was the same, with more intelligent conversation. Studies seemed to always be stuck in the basic books, Genesis, Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. with side studies in Proverbs and Psalms.
Don’t get me wrong they are wonderful books to study, but so often it seems like the things people ‘learn’ are the fluffy feel good aspects of the Faith. So when I hit 18, I gave one last attempt to find my place in the church, the area where, not everything was perfect, but at least I wasn’t looked at for actually reading other parts of the Bible.
For a time I found myself actually being stimulated by Bible studies and learned from the other study members and their walks. Unfortunately circumstance of my personal life began to eat into the church as well.
There was physical sexual abuse within my life that I cannot blame the church for. I can understand the mentality of forgiving one another. Without going into the details too much (I admit hiding behind the tag of anonymous still doesn’t give me the guts to post this openly online), my church let someone they KNEW was a sexual offender, a pedophile, who had Confessed to the acts to the Pastors, work with children in the nursery. Long after they knew. Even as they counseled him for his ’sickness.’
Then I heard whispers as the information inevitably leaked out. One of the few girls I found friendship in (Another who was often ‘pushed aside’ like I was)
was not allowed to be my friend anymore. Her words, not mine, or rather her mother’s words through her mouth. Others both youth and older seemed to go out of their way to avoid me. The pastors, with the exceptions of two, never returned hellos or met my gaze, when they had before. I heard the words whore and slut a few times as I caught glances in my direction. Somehow i had gone from being the victim of abuse to being the Mary Magdalene with now Christ to reprimand their taunts.
Eventually everything compounded upon itself to cause me to grow physically ill anytime I stepped into the church. I’ve yet to manage to attend any church and not feel the same. To not feel that somehow, some way, despite having four states between me and that church, that my ‘reputation’ is like the mark of Cain, visible in some form to everyone, forever on my face, and I’m unable to escape it. When I step into the doorway I feel eyes on me and can’t help but hear the words from my former friends, and their parents “Whore,” “Slut,” “You aren’t Christian enough to be my friend.”
I didn’t mean to dump this on you, I really didn’t, but do know that as I read this post, in truth as I read most of your posts, I don’t feel this way towards you. Your are not my Church, and I know this. YOU and many of your commentors (I say many because I cannot in fact read all comments but I’m sure by and large they are also wonderful) are kind, wonderful, caring people. I find my faith in the Faith renewed with each loving Christian i meet. But the separates cannot make up for my experience with the whole. Not yet.
I’m not even sure if I answered your call for help… I’m sorry if I haven’t. I started with the intention of probably just adding to the usual reponses of “Judgemental, not Christ like, and white washed,” it just escalated from there. Still, my attempt to help you has helped me, and I thank you for that.
Please continuing inspiring my faith in others.
Perhaps I’m not hopeless yet.
{reply}
Wow, we’ve got a whole lot of work to do. Sounds like we need to apologize first for all of the damage we have caused and then get on with loving people, eh? Love Wins.
{reply}
I profess to be a Christian. I read my Bible everyday. I am unchurched. I struggle and fail every day in my faith, in my attempts to be Christlike, in my relationships. I desire to be a better, loving person and I know that without my Lord, I would not be the person that I am. I used to think Christians were hypocrites. I’ve learned that the followers of Christ are very human. They struggle with faith and their relationship to Christ and others and they fail just like I do. I/they do not become a robot that automatically does what is right or “Christian”. I am trying to be more transparent in my walk, since that is the way His light is able to shine through me. It is hard though and I admit that I fall short much more than I succeed.
{reply}
I can’t stand the cookie cutter christian…and their lack of being genuine.
Some pastors…get on my nerves… I had a youth minister when I was growing up who later turned into a pastor of a church. We meet at skyline shortly after my dad passed away… I thought he was going to help me get through the rough time with not having my dad around….nope silly me…he fed me all this crap about how the church I was going to was wrong and evil (which was the tri-county vineyard at the time) and how every time he talks to me I am going to different church and how that it is unhealthy. He started to feed me all of this theology that I did not even want to hear…I felt like I was back in school. Worse lunch I ever had to sit through. I lost all respect for him.
{reply}
I guess what I hate the most is the ‘in bitching’. I also find that christians can be the most judgemental, hypocritical, un-loving, un-compassionate, un-just-about-everything-christ-like… It hurts my heart so much. My church has been through 4 splits in 25 years… I’ve been there for 2.5 of them (so I’m not the common denominator *wink*) and everytime it was the same people at the root of it, with the same reasons. I have never seen such cruelty or nastiness come from people who profess to LOVE.
{reply}
I am not a christian, but I do like your blog and the message you try to give. Sometimes christians need to look into their own worlds with honest eyes and try to practice what they preach, lead by example.
{reply}
I am most bothered by judgment and condemnation. Jesus himself said He came to this world not to condemn, but to save. That doesn’t mean we should be “tolerant” of sinful behavior — we certainly shouldn’t accept it, nor ignore it or condone it. But we need to adopt the approach of “love the sinner, hate the sin” — beginning with that within ourselves personally, within the church and toward pre-Christians. Each and every one of us has “stuff” in our lives that we’re vulnerable to, weaknesses where we fail — which is why we need Jesus. If we Christians viewed ourselves with that type of humility and THAT is the what others saw in the message we convey through our words, deeds and actions (rather than judgmentalism and hypocrisy) — then maybe people would not only love our Christ, but maybe they’d like us, too.
{reply}
My issue isn’t with Christians per se, but those who say they are Christian but behave the way Jen described above. The judgemental, uncompassionate, hateful, detremental, etc. behavior isn’t Christian in my humble opinion. I’m not talking about a Christian who has moments of un-Christian-like behavior. They are human and not perfect after all. I’m referring to the individuals who behave in such a manner constantly/chronically/relentlessly.
{reply}
What bothers me is the old saying, they talk the talk, but don’t walk the walk. I accepted Jesus at age 13, am now 60 and have been in church almost all my life. I have raised 2 children have 4 grandbabies and am so bothered by backbiting and non acceptance of people unless they fit a certain image and conform to a certain mold. My son and daughter in law have numerous tattooes and people (some, not all people) automatically judge them. They are two of the most dedicated christians I know. I know God has worked on me through them to learn to be less judgmental and more open minded and to look on the inside, not the outside.
{reply}
I’ve been reading quite a few of these comments with the recurring theme of judgment, which helped to clarify a thought for me. I guess the fact that so many Christians judge one another’s church doctrines seems divisive to me among the body of Christ. Such as: Saturday or Sunday worship; do or don’t play cards, dance, movies; speak in tongues, don’t speak in tongues; to kneel before the Lord or stand; how, when or who can partake of Communion. I understand these differences occur people have varied opinions, but these days it’s the world against Christianity and we really should be buddying up together for strength. We had our kids in Christian school named Grace Baptist and, honestly, Grace was the last thing on their curriculum. Our son has grown to deny Christ over this. I am praying for him, would you also?
This is a great post of your’s Pastor Ryan. I’m returning to learn how the Lord uses you with it.
{reply}
It’s graceless when Christians want to play the martyr when somebody discusses their displeasure with how Christians behave. It is also frustrating when said martyrs make assumptions about other people.
{reply}
When we MAJOR on the MINORS…
{reply}
What an interesting question and what great responses from your readers. I’ve been thinking about your post ever since it showed up.
2 things that I can say frustrate me about Christians (and I’m writing this from my point of view… I’m Christian and face these frustrations every day of life)….
First, it is very easy to keep life comfortable and never leave the boundaries of “Christian” living: only doing “church” things, only having Christian (and preferably from the same church/small group) friends. This is safe, doesn’t require much commitment or thought, and lets you believe that you’re doing just what you need to be doing because “how bad can I be if everything I do or everyone I associate with is Christian”. I am happy my children are so involved in things at church (or even at other churches since we partipate in sports programs that are a little closer to home). Bad, bad, bad thinking because we’ve been told by Jesus - “Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation.” Mark 16:15 (NIV).
The other extreme, which is also easy to fall into, is to be too much in the world. There are so many things that I could be doing instead of helping grow my children into good, responsible, adults who adore and worship God. My husband and I (married 21 years) could be involved in so many adult social activities, sports, school events, committees, etc. all in an effort to show the world what great people we are. I have occasional hissy fits that “I” need to come first for a change, that what “I” want is more important, “I” this, and “I” that. None of this shows the world an inkling of who God is and what Christ has done for my (and my family’s) life. This will so often only serve to emphasize the bad things about Chritianity and reinforce the feeling to those searching to fill up the hole in their soul that God isn’t for them.
You had one commenter question out of country missions. I feel that these are so important to those areas they go into. Religion (of any variety) has often been completely forbidden for years, so these people have no one to look to for instruction. One example of this is many of the societies who venerate seniors - they won’t listen to a younger person, but have no one older who is a Believer. Our seniors who feel led to go and teach have such a wonderful story they can present to people who would not hear it any other way. There are others who work with groups with the specific aim of creating missionaries from that people group’s own people, and then stepping out of the way. I hope that this may help the commenter feel a bit better about overseas missions. You will find Christians who feel a strong pull for local missions, as well and I believe a sign of a strong church is the amount of local work they do, as well as overseas trips.
I leave Luke 12 for your consideration, particularly verses 22-34. I hope this first post wasn’t too long.
{reply}
I hate a lot of things about Christians and the church and I’m a Christian. I came so close to leaving everything behind this summer. I was one of those 2% who do everything at the church I went to, while most people sat by and watched. I saw A LOT of ugliness, especially from leadership. I too hate that a lot of churches are run like a business. Less about the people actually going there and the community and more about numbers. Most churches could care LESS about the homeless people living a block from their over sized fancy MEGA buildings. Jesus walked AMONG the sinners. Most christians don’t even know people truly in need.
{reply}
I think this is a great post. It looks like Catalyst was a lot of fun!
As for your question… I want to preface it with I don’t know if I am a Christian or not. I like to think that I am. At least, I have Christian ideals set in my mind. I very much believe in God, Jesus, and the Holy Ghost. Nothing will ever change that. I am just unsure as to what God really is - is it an unseen force that has no body? Or is God a big man up in the sky? I don’t know what to believe. I somewhat feel guilty for questioning, but I know that I cannot stop myself from doing that.
I guess I must say that a lot of my frustrations come with not understanding. I don’t understand how Christians (at least those claiming to be) can claim to love everyone, and say that we’re all sons and daughters in the eyes of God yet discriminate against certain individuals. Are we not all equals in the eyes of God? I guess this is stemming from the fact that I just recently found out my best friend of many many years is gay. I’m having to deal with seeing my him discriminated against every day, seeing his Christian family look down on him and nearly disown him as it ‘is not right’, see him live in fear. He cannot step foot inside his church anymore out of sheer fear of what would be said to him. Nobody approves. It’s not fair. I just don’t see why we all don’t have compassion for everyone. Maybe they need reaching out as well.
Another thing I dislike is that why must we bash on every other church? Yes, some churches are run differently. Maybe they have little differences in their beliefs. But does that mean that we should condemn them and say that everything they teach is wrong? I don’t think so. We’re all studying the same thing - the Bible. The word of God. We’re learning about the love that Jesus Christ spread. We’re not here to learn about how wrong the Southern Baptist church is, or how if you attend a Methodist church, you are on a road straight for hell. I don’t see the point in that. I don’t see what it accomplishes. This also goes for other religions. Judaism, Buddhism, Muslim, Greek Orthodox, etc. Can we not be tolerant of everyone and understand that we are not all the same, and there are many religions out there?
I know I’ve posted this before, but my church figure in my life did not help the situation. My father did not do some very nice things to my family. His actions alone tore my family apart, and it will never be the same. My mother will never be the same. I have to see her struggling daily with the fact that the love of her life left her, and he is still with that woman. My mom has to struggle with memories of being harassed by my father and his girlfriend, while she was trying to keep my brother and I safe at home.
And this was my Christian figure in life. I just don’t understand.
I know I rambled on, and most may not make sense. But it’s what I was feeling at the time I was writing - and I don’t think I should go back and change it.
I want nothing more than to find my place in the eyes of God. I want to be able to find a place where I can worship, and show compassion in God. However, I’m just having a hard time since I’m questioning, and I have no idea where to go from here.
We’ll see where I end up.
{reply}
Failure.
{reply}
in a word: pretty
I hate that Christians seem to think we have to be pretty, that our lives have to be pretty, We act as though sactification isn’t a bloody messy sacrificial job that requires the community to be the hands of Christ and participate actively… We act as if sin doesn’t deeply damage people. Sometimes we act as if damaged people deserve it even if the sin wasn’t theirs. Christians act as if God’s big plan for us is to be comfortable when he called us to pick up our cross and follow him, when he said blessed are those persecuted for my name, when he warned that the servant won’t be treated better than his master.
We act as if “pretty” is more important than honoring Jesus in almost every way imaginable.
It is wonderful to be able to say so…
{reply}
It really disturbs me that so many Christians who claim to follow the teachings of Jesus are so close-minded about those who do not share their beliefs. That they can be so hateful because of a difference in opinion on an issue, like abortion or evolution or the structure of our religions.
Open your hearts, people.
{reply}
Whenever you ask a question and ask for a response, I wander around contemplating how I want to respond. I read this post shortly after you put it up. I kept trying to decide which thing about Christians and church bothered me most. A strange thing happened. Every time, I figured out what bothered me most about Christians, I realized that it was what bothered ME most about MY OWN Christian walk. Suddenly I was realizing that my finger just kept pointing right back at me.
Interesting.
Contemplation complete.
{reply}
I am not Christian. I am not religious at all, but I like your blog and the positive message it sends. Unfortunately that isn’t the message I see a lot of Christians sending.
We’re all human, we’re all judgmental and imperfect, but many of the Christian people I meet, especially the ones who are most vocal and “in your face” about being so are especially judgmental. It also seems like they fear or hate (or both, they go hand in hand) anyone who is different from them.
I am not a fan of religion mainly because I see so many people of all faiths behaving like cattle, regurgitating what they are told but never stopping to think about or question what it means or whether they agree with it. Its not a sin to think about things, to examine what you really believe, and to question what you are told instead of being a mindless drone who doesn’t even practice what they preach because they don’t really understand what it means.
{reply}
Mary, I love your comment. We were fortunate to be able to have our two children in Christian school. When my daughter was 14 she chose to attend the public high school close to us. We put our son in public school in the 4th grate the next year. (I’d become unhappy with the Christian school they were in a couple of years prior. Too much favoritism, nepotism, supporting of “ministers” who we consider bad news.)
While our kids got a great start spiritually, my husband and I both admit to having been “scared” away from the whole public school thing. My daughter did just fine. She is a very strong person, picky about her friends, etc. My son - well, he’ll have issues wherever he goes. We need prayer about that one.
My daughter’s favorite teacher at the Christian school went to teach at a public school. The way she explained it to me was so clear. She said that Christians too often try to insulate themselves from what they deem harmful. If Christians kept only to themselves, their worlds, their churches, their schools, their music, their everything, how would they expect to be able to relate to anyone else? It’s our job to be there for people. All people. Just like Jesus.
{reply}
I have a hard time with hypocritical people in general, but when it come from my “Christan” it hits a whole ‘nother nerve. A whole lot deeper. A whole lot more painful.
{reply}
I wish I had time to read all the comments. This was a powerful post. I love versus 6-8 and think they are so poignant for me right now as I keep wondering just what I should be doing.
As far as Christians…Around here people say that you can love the church despite its members. There is so much keeping up with the Jones, but not in a Christlike way in my opinion. I hate how they don’t respect everyone at their level of dedication, and instead feel like it is a race to be more Mormon than the next person (I know some people don’t think Mormon’s are Christians, but having read their book I believe they are.) There is so much judgment that it often feels like they have lost sight with the continual goal of transforming ourselves into our best self, which may or may not add up to their best self. Hypocrisy is a whole other issue, one that I think a lot of people struggle with Christian or otherwise, myself included. But when it is on a much grander scale and up at the podium, it is harder to feel Christlike towards that person who so strongly judges you.
{reply}
That so many now thing they need a huge - no, monstrously huge, expensive building to draw people to them….instead of going out to where the people already are.
{reply}
And of course that should be think. And I have two left hands today.
{reply}
We do not love. And we do not realize that we require the Holy Spirit moment-by-moment in order to love.
{reply}
Wow, I dont know how I missed this! In my experience, no offense, of course, religious people in general that I have met, soo totally do not act like it. Christians in my own life are the most backstabbing and cruel people, but they had behind the fact they are “christians”, which makes everything OK
{reply}
I’m really late to comment on this post…
As someone who grew up in a baptist church and now considers herself “agnostic” at best. I find that my frustrations about christianity come from extremists.
- Lack of tolerance for other religions, race, and marriage equality
- Lack of questioning and thinking about faith
- Lack of interest in religious theory and history (knowing the true origins of christianity and the other religions that existed before christianity that are vastly similar)
- Christian leaders who use their power to manipulate people politically and monetarily
- Paying for a spiritual experience
- Creationism
With all of these things that annoy me, its hard for me not to come to your website and respect what you say. I feel like you are unlike a lot Christians I’ve met.
{reply}
I am not a christian nor have I ever read the bible. I try to live my life being kind to my fellow humans. I do not judge them. I do not see age or skin color. If someone needs help, I will do everything I can to help. I try to tread lightly on the Earth. I respect all living creatures and would never kill an animal for pleasure. When I consume meat, I am grateful for the animal that gave it’s life so that I may sustain mine. I am conscious of my actions and how they may affect others.
My issue with most christians I know is that they don’t abide by these simple rules that I live by but yet they will judge me for not going to church. They will turn their back when a friend needs help. They hunt for trophy. They won’t recycle. They could care less how their behavior affects others.
Why do I read your blog if I’m not a christian? Because your message is so “non-christian”. I admire the work you do and I hope your message inspires others to make the world a better place.
{reply}
As a Chirstian myself, I don’t care for people that push their beliefs on me. We can do our own thing or even the same thing, but don’t try to tell me your way is better, unless I ask.
Also, when I am able to attend church, I feel like an outsider. Granted I am in some ways, but for Lord’s sake ask my name or ask how I’ve been. I’m not a freak, but I’d say I have a friendly enough face to recognize. Sheesh. It goes both ways folks. I can’t stand asking how someone is and get a blank stare or a nod in return. I have a pretty firm grasp on our church members, and I’m positive they’re not deaf.
{reply}
one word: cliquish
{reply}
…and Jesus didn’t have no clique.
{reply}
I have spent the past 2 hours reading the comments and thinking what drives me nuts or saddens me. I can honestly say that what makes me the saddest is that I, as a believer, have not share my love for Jesus with everyone I have met. Not sure if I was scared or just not faithful enough, that as a believer of God I have had my “moments” were I am so on fire for God that people watch me burn and I have shared my love for him. But there have also been moments were I’ve had the opportunity to change people’s lives and regreted later not have done anything about it. The thing that drives me nuts is not to be on fire for God at all times.
I just pray that we can all take time to have a closer relationship with God and share it with others, just living life wherever you are at. You don’t have to be a everyday church goer, or a life catalyst, to change someones life. Love life, love what you do and share it with others.
Ryan, thanks for taking the time to be real. Love wins! Love u man! MB
{reply}
I’m a little late on the ball here… as usual… it took me awhile to respond and I am still reading the comments of others yet… but I didn’t want to take up too much room, so I put my comment in my own blog… it can be read if anyone cares to take a boo… Thank you Ryan for being so out there, honest, real, caring for people and their thoughts and opinions… you ARE a reflection of Jesus light and love on the world! God bless You Ryan and your lovely family! {{{hugs}}}
http://mom2my4gr8boys.blogspot.com/2008/11/judge-not-lest-ye-be-judged.html
ps. does basic html work in your comments? I can use it some, but don’t want to mess things up
ttfn!
{reply}
I am most frustrated by judgment and intolerance in the name of Divine Instructions. Yes, we are told to correct those doing wrong, but we’re to do it with love. You can preach about the sin, but still care for the sinner on a humane level on human terms. As a Catholic Christian, I am completely frustrated by the vast amounts of misinformation presented about my faith, beliefs and the teachings of the Catholic Church. And as a side note…I married a Southern Baptist 14+ years ago. Some of our conversations have been rather colorful
{reply}
The lack of tolerance within Christianity. If each denomination is truly just another room within the house of the Lord, why do certain denominations feel themselves to be better than certain other denominations?
Also, when a preacher is preaching, he is giving his interpretation of the Bible and the Word. Anytime you are discussing words written by another person, you are offering up opinions, regardless of whether it’s the Bible or a piece of literature. And so, it really frustrates me when a Christain will just accept the words of their preacher as being 100% truth.
Research it yourself.
Pray on it.
Discuss it.
But ultimately be able to find a meaning in the words that you best feel is God’s true meaning, rather than allowing yourself to be spoon fed by the organization.
{reply}
The judgement from Christians is hard to take as a Christian and as a non-Christian. Before I was saved I hated Christianity and so many times was able to justify that by the bad behavior of Christians. 10 years ago I worked at a conference center in the dining hall and had a first hand look at the participants in the various groups. I’ll never forget the difference between two specific groups. One was a Christian women’s retreat. The ladies were rude, unkind, picky and not nice to the servers. A month later a gay men’s chorus was having a workshop and they were uniformly nice, friendly, said please and thank you and were the most fun group ever. At the time I said that I’d rather go to hell with the gay guys than to heaven with the Christian women. Another example is from shortly after I became a Christian (despite those ladies!) when the whole Terry Schiavo (I know I’m spelling it wrong) case was in the news. The image that stays with me is of a Christian protester who was there because he wanted Terry to live screaming at a policeman who was just trying to keep order, “Jesus hates you!” What kind of message of love was that?! I have to say that the Christians who impacted me most were the ones who lived their faith not the ones who tried to beat me over the head with their faith. In particular I credit my husband’s daughter who never stopped loving her father even after he fell away from the church and we were “living in sin.” In fact, she told me once that one of her Christian friends said to her that she should have nothing to do with her father because we were living together and not married. And her reply to her friend was, “He is my father and I love him and I will not stop having a relationship with him. And furthermore I really like his girlfriend and think that we would be best friends if they lived closer to us.” I continue to admire how she lives her faith as a wife, mother, daughter, and friend and I hope that I can do as well though I fear that I do not.
{reply}
Lack of an understanding of Grace. I do not have to be or do anything to “get” God to love me. Similarly, we are called to love one another regardless of what they do, say or be.
Period.
{reply}
I’m a Christian but I don’t get how brothers & sisters feel that they can protest those going into abortion clinics, politicians or anything really in a way that displays violence, hurtful words or in any way but love, as God tells us to show. It doesn’t reflect a loving God to those who are watching.
{reply}
Amen Feisty Irish Wench! That is exactly what I was going to write, only I’ve been married to my Baptist for 2 years. We’re all on the same team, and I think politics make us loose sight of that. All we can do is live our lives the right way for ourselves, and know that is what everyone else is doing. Mind Ya!
{reply}
The thing about Christians that bothers me most, are the ones who claim the loudest to be Christians but yet you’d never know they were if they didn’t tell you. Christians should never need to boast, their lifestyle should proclaim them.
{reply}
Hey, I just linked here from the PW’s wine post.
I wanted to comment on this post because this very past Sunday I felt convicted about something that also bothers me about other Christians, atleast some of us in America. We seem to focus on ourselves a lot, rather than on the rest of the globe. Let me explain, I was sitting next to some very good friends who are furlough from Africa where they work with Wycliffe translating the Bible, and as we were singing in worship, it annoyed me that the songs were so “me” focused. I have so much and so much to be grateful for and so much I could live without, but there are people all over the world suffering for Christ and people all over the world who don’t even know His love because they don’t even have a Bible in their own mother language. It broke my heart. I pray that I keep the eyes of my heart more outward focused and that other believers here in America and around the globe would do the same! Thanks for the question! Have a great Thanksgiving!
{reply}
I am bothered by myself. I get so excited and moved to do right when I’m at church, and then fail as soon as I walk out the door. A frustrating internal struggle all the time.
Another thing that frustrates me is the “click” at church. We were good friends with our pastor and some of the higher ups. Then, for some reason, we aren’t included anymore. Not sure why but it’s frustrating. My feel is that those in the “click” are extremely involved in the church. When you aren’t devoted then you aren’t included.
It feels like high school. Either play the game and have the friends or get shot down when you don’t. Of course you can see from my first concern regarding my own struggles. I’m sure the “click” sees it too… and there in lies the rub.
{reply}
I know I’m a few days late in responding but I wanted to anyway.
I grew up in church all my life. But the past year or two, I have really been struggling to make myself want to go to church. Someone else commented that churches are “run like a business” and I totally agree. I hate it. There’s so much practice that goes into the service, it no longer seems real. People expect to be paid when they do a bit of secretarial work. Everything is so planned out, there’s no room for real worship. Why can’t we sing a few worshipful songs, listen to a well thought out sermon, fellowship and pray together, and feel like we belong to a loving family?
I also agree with bizban. I bother myself, always wanting to do the right thing while I’m lisening to the sermon but I fail to follow through with any of it as soon as I get home.
We all need to pray for each other. And pray for the church. It’s not headed in a good direction. We need to turn it around!
{reply}
“Christianity is the only ‘right’ way to believe, and everyone else is ‘wrong’ and going to hell” And, the idea that they have to convert non-Christians to Christianity. Can’t other belief systems be respected, and maybe even recognized as having value, especially if they have the end result of leading people to live their life with value? If two people go through their lives caring for others, giving of themselves, valuing life, being good stewards of the Earth, etc, does it really matter that one labels himself a Chrisitan and the other a Buddhist?
{reply}
My problem with Christians is that they are very quick to “Judge and Damn.” I cannot associate myself with those who are so closed-minded when I believe that God created everyone equally. Just because someone doesn’t have the same beliefs as me doesn’t mean He loves them any less. I was raised a Christian but I was also raised to love everyone, even those that the church condemns…
I think the church needs to revamp itself or there’s going to be even more resentment as we grow older. I’m 28 and haven’t been a regular at church for 8 years now. Everytime I go I’m reminded of why I don’t. I see everyone as a child of God and cannont and will not turn my back on anyone because they’re at a different place in their walk.
Thank you for this post. It made my day!
{reply}
I just read this post and hope that I’m not too let to post. What I don’t like is that Christians aren’t supposed to judge and when they do judge, they do it in a way that hurts very bad and makes you not ever want to see or speak to them again. I will be judged on my final day.
{reply}
I grew up Catholic, strayed, dabbled with Wicca and then became a born again Christian attending a Pentecostal AG church. I’ve come across so many wonderful Christians but what irks me is how so many Christians just believe anyone that says or implies they’re Christian. They’ll believe anything they say. Especially “prophets”. Well, if prophets really are prophets, shouldn’t they be right 100% of the time? What about the 99% that are not. And people believe them. Also, the “deliverance” ministry people who believe absolutely everything that goes wrong is attributable to a demon and that only certain ways of doing things can remove them. Isn’t that like placing more of an emphasis on the enemy than our Saviour? I’ve gotten burned by people like that who took me in as a new Christian and “mentored” me. All that said, I’m nothing more than a judgmental sinner myself that is completely in need of the Lord for I’m really no better than those I describe. I need to work on the whole loving your brother thing.
{reply}
I used to belong to a nondenominational church and at first it was what I needed however they teach you to love everyone but when the pastors wife can’t find it in her sole to love everyone unconditionally and without fault that I have a problem with when the clicks are at church and there shouldn’t be and clicks everyone should be loved as they are.
{reply}
My problems with Christians varies with the “brand” of Christian. Yes, I am a Christian and I’ve been many brands over my life. Right now, I’m on the road to the Catholic Church, which is a whole story too long for this comment.
Evangelicals tend to be proud, bigoted, and so sure they are the only ones who are “right”.
Mainline denominational Christians tend to be “cultural” Christians who are Christians because it is the accepted thing to do. (At least it still is in our rural area–I know this isn’t the case in other places!) Many of them have been attending church their whole lives and haven’t ever scratched the surface of Jesus’ teachings.
Catholic Christians can fall prey to #1 and #2 above and also tend to separate their faith life (praying and going to Mass) from the rest of their lives (cussing, getting drunk, s*xual immorality, etc.).
I think what bothers me most about Christians is how few of us seek to follow Jesus all the way, even when it hurts, even when it’s inconvenient, even when it means we have to humble and change ourselves to be more like Him. We give Christianity a bad name.
Christ have mercy.
{reply}
For the record, I am Christian, of the Saved by Grace through Faith variety. (No, I don’t live it. I suck.)
What drives me nuts about Christians? How they (we) are always talking about how we need to go out and impact the world, but yet there are people in their very own church who are hurting, people that the Big Thinkers have never said two words to.
Trying to gloss over the effects of abuse. “Give it to God” is great advice, but from what I have seen, God doesn’t just wave His magic wand and take the pain away. Healing takes work, a lot of work. And it takes the support of other Christians. Yes, I do realize that God can do ANYTHING, but just because He can doesn’t mean that He always does. He does expect us to do some of the work.
Thinking that ‘forgive’ and ‘forget’ are mutually inclusive. They are not. Sitting there and pretending everything is ok is much more conducive to holding onto bitterness than addressing the issue.
Using Scripture and prayer as cop outs and covers for fakeness.
Judging others who live differently. You may be convicted against certain actions, so you abstain from them. The fact that I do not share your convictions does not make me less Christian.
People who use ‘churchy’ words when talking in every day conversations. *gag*
Treating church like a fashion show.
(Ok, I’ll shut up now.)
{reply}
Just like goth kids, christians seem to all conform to a standardized model of what they think a christian should be. They are so special in God’s eyes (true) they are all the same. They even pray the same way. (Lord, (pause for emphasis)..I pray that you would just reach into the life of…blah,blah,blah. Just blah, blah, blah, Lord.) I don’t like all the “just”s that get thrown around.
I don’t feel that most of them practice God’s love and charity in real life. Missions to third world countries is one thing…how about having the compassion to recognize a need in someone and having the strength/faith to fill that need? Or, just talking to people and listening like Jesus did.
And, I’m glad to know that some people aren’t born into the nightmare I was, but how can anyone with that much love in their life claim to be tested? Tested to do what, hang a churchy calendar in your cubicle? God and I worked together to get my naked butt off a stripper’s pole and away from the needle. THAT’s a struggle. THAT is faith. I hope I’m not too late. Thanks for all that you do, Ryan. All that you are.
{reply}
Interestingly I struggle with this issue because there are a few family members who claim they’ve been “born again” and don’t behave very Christ-like to other family members who don’t believe exactly as they do. You know, if you don’t go to their church and don’t take the classes they recommend, well lets just say that my sister-in-law is saving a seat for us hoping we’ll come so we don’t go to hell. i just shake my head because Matthew 6 says (paraphrased) do your woshiping and charitable work in secret/private and dont trumpet your deeds to others. anyway….
{reply}
Sorry, but hate is too strong a word for me to use, so I won’t be using it. I haven’t read all of the posts, but I would have to say that really nothing about Christians-or humanity itself bothers me. I have come to a point in my life and walk with Jesus where I can see people as nothing more than who they are–Human–we all are far from Christ and the abilty to be like him is completely out of our reach. The WWJD movement seems apathetic at best. There is no possible way we simple humans can assume-ever- that we would know what Jesus would do in any given circumstance and trying to do so seems silly to me.We also should not need a bracelet or a cross on a necklace to excuse ourselves from our environment and provide us with and opportunity to project out personal Faith-it is just so much more than that… I believe the sooner we begin to forgive ourselves -AND OTHERS- for being human, the sooner we will come upon the realization that only by reading The Word, believing in Christ, and having Faith that his Will is accomplished in our lives through our prayers to Him, can we become closer to Him, not by observing others but by observing how His teachings can transcend us and transform us into a contantly growing Christian. Different people are at different places in their walk and they have also come from different places and had different experiences in their lives that have put them where they are at that time. Therefore, how can we think anything of them-chil and let our Father do His job, people! Give each other a break, fellow man. Let your light shine as brightly as it can at any given time for others to see, but stop worrying so much about impressions and judgements. It is between you and your Father, who loves you with agape love, but also wants you to do right by Him. Simplify your life to your utmost capability. Find peace in Him and not the world -or others. Be as healthy as you can in your life choices and ask for God’s help when you don’t feel capable of making the right ones. He will heal you and guide you, always and in all ways if you will remember to rest and spend your energies reflecting on Him -instead of worrying about others. Psalm 46:10. Oh, and go see Fireproof and read The Shack (after reading the book of Acts)
God Bless us all-EVERY ONE!
{reply}
Oh, and one more thing, when one points a finger at another, pay attention to how many of your own fingers are pointing back at yourself. Take the plank out of your eye. Stop trying to be like Christ, but rather linger more often in His love and enjoy it a while. Ghandi is limited in the thought that we are to be more like Christ-that comment goes completely against what Christ taught. We can never be like him-only be the best that we were meant to be-and THAT is who God wants-not a twin of His Son, but rather an individual son/duaghter who is doing their best to be the best they can be for Him and for others. Amen.
{reply}
Our favorite thing in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD is to judge what other Christians are doing. There is no acceptance and flexibility for where others may be at in their walk. This goes both for “conservatives” and “liberals”–we may think that soandso is uptight because they don’t drink, not realizing that this may be what God is calling them to do at that time. Or, we may think that suchandsuch is evil because they do drink, not realizing that Christ has given them the liberty to do so! There are so many tiny things that we get hung up on rather than talking about the wonderfulness of our Savior and what He has done in OUR life.
{reply}
First time I’ve read your blog - and a question that hits home for me - a PK who now works for the church as a layperson. The thing that makes me craziest about Christians is that they too quickly treat their churches like country clubs (if you do this, you know who you are). I spend my time trying to get them to see that the world is bigger than their four walls. Bigger than their small ideas of what God could do with them. Big enough to hold them - and those people they don’t want to associate with. It drives me crazy when Christians don’t look for Christ in whoever comes in the door - and welcome him in whatever form he chooses to arrive.
{reply}
As a former church secretary I grew to hate the judgementalism everyone has posted about.
Especially when I realized it was me also.
My thinking as a “good christian” was this, “I am doing everything just right and so should you”.
My realization came after a couple of pastor changes– the last one being horrible and resulting in me leaving the church my family started and grew up in.
So I left my church, became a hater of judge-mentalism and self righteous judge-mentalists and got mad at my precious God. I allowed the judgers to keep me from worship because I was so focused on what they did that I couldn’t stand that I didn’t want to go to church.
Next, He convicted me for judging the judgers! It’s very easy to hate judgmental christians but by judging them I became like them and yet became self righteous in a different way.
I still can’t stand judgemental christians I just try to go easier on them. And one thing that really bugs as someone already said is the language that won’t reach any lost person. How many unchurched people know what sanctification or salvation or even saved means?
Pastor Ryan, thank you for this blog. I found you on Pioneer Woman and i love you both!
{reply}
Oh - and Ryan - GREAT blog!
{reply}
I have come to realize the church I’ve been attending is too “antiseptic” for me. It is run as a business, with the focus on numbers and tithers, not really ministering to the unchurched, nor welcoming sinners, not really getting their hands “dirty”. The schedule is full of parties, pot-lucks, bible study groups all that good stuff that faithful members love to attend. But on Sunday mornings, they either ignore or literally shoo away the winos and crackheads that sit at the curb of the parking lot. Why don’t they invite them IN? They mail boxes of goodies and Christian literature to children in third world countries, but they don’t get out in the community to actually touch the lives of unchurched people. It has taken me almost a year to see this, and I am considering shopping for a new church (again). My husband insists we attend Southern Baptist services, which I thought would be OK, but have found out they do not acknowledge my previous Baptism by sprinkling (Methodist) so I am considered to be Unbaptized and cannot be an official “Member” until I get dipped. I am not welcome to partake in Communion or serve in any other role until then. It just seems conflicting to me that they consider immersion the only way to be Baptized and therefore qualify to partake of the grape juice and unleavened wafers. Isn’t that rejecting one symbolic ritual and accepting of another? Seems hypocritical to me. By the way, even though I have been asked to refrain from taking communion until I am immersed, I partake ANYWAYS! haha! I figure God knows what’s in my heart regardless of the SBC doctrine! feedback appreciated…
{reply}
Being raised a Christian and actively involved in my church I think the biggest issue I see is pointing fingers about what she/he did or needs instead of looking at our own lives. It is so much easier to judge others than to truly change ourselves and the way we react and treat others. Definitely something that I am working on daily, one step forward, two steps back.
{reply}
As a church attending Christian who was raised in the church and took a break during my teen/early adult years I have a major pet peeve. I hate church-speak. The clubby, cliquey insider language that turns people away is the thing that drives me nuts because of everything it implies, “I’m part of a group where you don’t belong because you don’t talk like us…”
I actually had a church acquaintance come to me and say she was concerned for my salvation because she had heard me say something a few months back that she realized indicated I thought works rather than faith were the keys to eternal life. Huh? I told a story about my late Grandfather, a UM pastor, who had read the riot act to some self-righteous biddies in his congregation. And wow. If I was new to attending church that would’ve put me off of it for quite some time. This lady also told me it was sinful to wear a tank top and that she was prepared to teach a teen Sunday school class on cults, “You know, like the Mormons and Catholics.” Aside from that just being a stupid statement, it is the kind of thing that turns people away. So I guess what it boils down to is this. I don’t think the church is welcoming enough (Christ didn’t hang out with the Pharisees) and I think that once people get through that tough door and make themselves come in they’re at a risk of being turned away by our cliqueish behavior.
{reply}
Wellll….since you asked….this has bugged me for quite some time. I’m a Christian, but what bugs me A LOT about some other Christians is that they seem to be on the prowl for negative things to say about anything, including one another. This gets old, and is a turn off, to listen to. Example: A magazine that I subscribe to for my teenage son has a section for music reviews, and a section for video game reviews. I can’t recall ever seeing a POSITIVE review about anything! So this says a couple of things to me, one being: PICK SOMETHING THAT YOU *CAN* SAY SOMETHING POSITIVE ABOUT so your teenage readers don’t become so discouraged that they quite reading the reviews (let’s face it, who wants to see constant negativity?). We want to teach them discernment, right? So balance is important. The other thing that bugs me is the clique-i-ness that is encountered at church. And the people in these cliques seem to be oh-so-judgmental about other Christians in the fellowship. Do they not remember what it was like to be a baby Christian? I got very turned off of church because of this sort of thing, for example I would make some (thinking it was innocent because I didn’t know any better) remark and then getting lambasted for saying it. NOT “corrected in love”. So much for modeling Jesus! Anyway, I want to belong to the kind of church that accepts you as you are AT THAT MOMENT, while encouraging you to grow spiritually, not the kind of church that is constantly nitpicking at everything! Teach us discernment but not to be killjoys! By the way Ryan (I’m over here from PW’s blog), I love that you have tattoos. But I’m sure that you’ve been criticized by other Christians for having them. I’ve heard the same thing about the rock group Kutless. Why can’t people focus on the positive things that people are bringing forth…yeah, we don’t want to sugar-coat the stuff that needs to be changed in the world, but I believe that reinforcing the positive message of the gospel will take care of the stuff that needs to be taken care of. Anyway, I hope you get some “good stuff” from these comments, you are a brave man for opening that door!
Take care,
Suzanne
{reply}
I can tell you what I’m guilty of as a Christian, but God has been working on me.
Christians think they have to “fix” everyone. I used to think that in order to show love, I had to help the ones I love to become free from addictions, wrong moral choices, and sin. In fact, it wasn’t a successful visit unless I’ve “shared a word” with them.
This is not my job.
My job is to love and share the gospel.
Period.
It is Jesus who heals and forgives. Only God can change hearts.
Life has been so much easier since I have no agenda other than to love.
{reply}
I dislike it when Christians vote their Religion.
I believe how I believe. I’m not going to vote in a Way that endangers how you believe. That is what this Country is about. The “dreaded Right” is guilty of this and I dislike it very much. I have a Freedom to choose in Life. So do you. In Fact, I’m pretty sure that G_d gave it to you. I’ll not take that away from you because I don’t deem your decision-making Skills to be worthy.
{reply}
My biggest concern about Christians/church is the focus on KNOWLEDGE not RELATIONSHIP. We think that if we learn and memorize scripture, we are doing what we are supposed to do. And yes, I think we should study and memorize but I want to do those things in order to learn HOW to express love to my SAVIOR and do things that are pleasing to Him in regards to how I treat other people. It makes me think of my husband. I can know all his ins and outs but if I do not use that knowledge to make him feel loved, all that knowledge about him is useless.
I’m also concerned that we have stopped looking at ourselves as THE CHURCH because we are too busy viewing ourselves as members of whatever church we attend. We also tend to think that whatever it is that we are called to be and do should be the same thing that others are called to be or do. Just because I’m called to be a member of a church and serve Jesus there, doesn’t mean everyone is called to be a carbon copy. Christianity is freedom to follow the will of our Father not the rules (legalism) of his followers.
{reply}
Thanks for the opportunity to say: most all my friends who qualify themselves as “Christians” actally ACT the opposite. They talk the talk but do not walk it. My friends who rarely discuss Jesus actually ACT more like HIM. By surviving a series of negative events over the past few years, the one true/loving/compassionate/empathetic/non judging supportive friend and her family is JEWISH!! The MOST “Christian” friends who TALKED of Bible study ACTED selfish, judging, boastful, hypocritical and dissappeared during the tough times. I am Christian.I just wish those who TALK about it, would ACT it by exemplifying the fruits of the Holy Spirit…like my Jewish friends!?
{reply}
I’m a christian. One of my favourite books ever is the Jesus I Never Knew by Philip Yancey. I totally agree with him that we (western christians) are largely missing the forest for the trees. Jesus came to introduce a kingdom vastly different from the earthly political status quo. Very little in scripture shows him actually confronting or interacting with the earthly kingdom of his day (Rome). He was all about being a set apart kingdom within the corrupt worldly kingdom not overthrowing the worldly kingdom to make it conform to the kingdom he was presenting. This is crucial. I love the part in that book where he talks about “if all people remember of the christians of the current generation is that they stood for family values, opposed gay marriage and abortion, the Church will have completely missed it’s mark. We are to be a kingdom on a hill shining the light of love, grace, forgiveness and servanthood. I fear what most people see are fanatics on a hill with megaphones, hollering out the causes they are for or against, rather than just quietly shining their spotlight on The Cause of our justification. The One this is all supposed to be about. It’s all about Him.
I’m new here… loved this topic.
{reply}
I worked for a cool “relevant” church for 10 years. I came into the position as a new Christian. Most of what I saw was very cult-like. I have since left the job and the church, but thank God that I had some real experiences mixed with the Kool-Aid sipping and have gone on to be a compassionate Christian at a boring, stiff Methodist church that loves me. I saw some terrible things done by “good” men to bring people to their knees ( this was a church that really loved the hard line and throwing people into repentance). It really amazes me that after 10 years of “doing life together deeply”, I never see or hear from those people - even the ones that I thought were my very closest friends. This is a long way around to say that most Christians I know have very shallow connections with others.
{reply}
what agitates me is the amount of ‘good christians’ being so righteous, arrogant and ever so ready to jump in faces of those who might have different beliefs and tell them that they aren’t worthy of Gods love. right now, at least until march, i am a happy, God loving, Christian lesbian, married to the woman who God put in my life to show that God does love those of us who finally gave in to what God made us to be. Read the 10 commandments people, LOVE ONE ANOTHER! no matter how you believe we got here, we did it with Gods help. He put us together, we live for our Lord, He has given us so many miracles we can not dispute whose hand it was that gave. get to know us, we are not the enemy, we are your friends, family, mothers, fathers, grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins. do not begin to tell me He doesn’t love me, i know he does and i will continue to walk and talk his love.
{reply}
You are very brave to ask this question.
What bothers me the most is not when people fail. If we were perfect we would not need a saviour. It is when folks pick and choose from God’s law. It is okay to break THAT law and to keep this one….. Now I feel judgemental and need to go hide under the Rock.
{reply}
I grew up going to church nearly every Sunday of my youth, and while I enjoyed it and was spiritually moved as well, I can no longer will myself to go. There are many reasons, but here are the ones that have kept me away:
1 - The fact that many people who sit in the pew and hear the message, are eager to jump on the bandwagon when it is time to criticize another faith, race, or nationality. Hypocrisy basically.
2 - The fact that if Jesus himself walked into the majority of churches, what with his long scraggly hair and beard and rabblerouser ways, he would be quietly escorted out the side door and the proper authorities called in to help keep the peace. God Forbid (pun intended) that a mere prostitute or homeless person darken the door.
3 - The fact that very few Christians have any education regarding the history of the Bible or biblical times, except for what is taught from the pulpit. I mean actual history not Sunday school. For me, an understanding of the societal norms and political leanings of the time, helps to form an understanding of the metaphors and allusions in the Bible as well as paints a more complete picture of who/why Jesus was. I think without that basic knowledge, it’s blind following along. This goes along with my total lack of understanding why in most Christian circles it is required to take the Bible at its literal word. Don’t mind the politics behind how each version came to be. And why is it so dangerous to question these things?
4 - The “It’s God’s will” explanation. If you use that reasoning, then it must apply to just about everything, right? And the sheer arrogance of claiming to know God’s will borders on blasphemy.
5 - The gobbledygook speaking style. It seems so cultish from the outside.
6 - Lack of actual service towards humankind in need. I don’t understand how coming to church every Sunday, Sunday night, Wednesday night, etc. is a benefit to anyone but oneself. Wouldn’t we all be more like Jesus if we spent some of those times working at a food bank or opening our homes to someone in need?
I know this sounds embittered, but you asked. I struggle weekly with the desire to find a congregation that focuses on helping people in need while allowing and encouraging the struggle with the questions. I mean, isn’t this the hardest thing to figure out in life? Yet I stay away, because to ask the honest questions that I feel would be seen as too much of a rocking of the boat that is safely in the harbor.
{reply}
I would have to say that I agree with Ghandi. For background purposes I should say that I went to a Catholic grade school and high school but am pretty much agnostic now. I also lived in the bible belt for awhile, so I have some experience in that regards as well.
In my experience the people that push their christianity into the forefront the most tend to be the least Christ-like people I’ve met. The more they brag about their christianity the more judgemental and self-righteous they tend to be. While there are many good christians around, these types tend to be the ones that people see and remember.
I also have never understood the idea that one sect of chrisitanity (ie Catholic, Baptist, Espicopal, Methodist, etc) is so much better than another and that if you go to the wrong one you are going to hell. The core beliefs of all Christian religions are essentially the same (granted there are differences especially between the Catholic and Protestant branches). However the core beliefs are the same and instead of wasting so much time trying to “save” other Christians why can’t people instead focus on helping each other live in the most Christ-like (not necessarily Christian) way. Also, in regards to non-christian religions, Christians tend not to be very accepting of followers of other faiths such as Islam, the Jewish faith, Hinduism, etc. In general, all the major religions of the world have very similar core beliefs. All believe in some sort of higher power, they all pray to that power for guidance/assistance, they all believe in being a “good” person, etc. While there a differences such as the name of that higher power, there should be enough common ground to allow each faith to accept the others. This problem is clearly not limited to christians but it is a common problem for christians, none the less.
My final comment is in regards to the “religious right”. In my opinion, the people that are so fanatical in this area are on par with the islamic jihadists that have resorted to physical violence in the name of their religion. Both groups, in my opinion, have gotten lost in their religious beliefs. They have taken something that they believe to be sacred and holy and turned it into a weapon. Their sacred religion is now their weapon of choice to judge people, persecute others and to advance their own interests. In the US, people in the far relgious right tend to be so worried about the righteous of their chose beliefs that they forget that the US is a democracy and not a theocracy. To them, only their way is the right and moral way. That is not true. Religous beliefs do not equal legal tenents. We need to remember that this country was founded on the principle of religious freedom. Just because a majority of people may hold a similar religous belief does not mean that our civil law should reflect that religous belief.
Once again, these comments reflect my personal beliefs and experiences. If I have offended anyone I am truly sorry.
{reply}
I am not a Christian, nor do I dislike Christians. I believe that religion is a means to give people hope when presented with the absurdity of the world, and while I don’t believe in any religion, I do think that religion is a good thing. I also find many of the Bible’s lessons of forgiveness and love to be consistent with my own moral beliefs.
I do, however, dislike when some (obviously not all) Christians try to convert me. I understand that a major role in the Christian church is to “save” people; however I do not think that this justifies a disrespect for other people’s beliefs, which I have encountered a few times before. Just because I am not a Christian does not mean that I don’t have morals or strive to be a good person. I think that Christianity could be taken more seriously by the non-religious if the lessons within the Bible were more important than the specific rules within it or the evangelical nature of it.
I hope I didn’t offend anyone here - I have just seen a lot of Christians who are disrespectful to agnostics such as myself, as well as seeing a lot of the non-religious who disrespect Christians.
Peace and love,
Erin
{reply}
Hi Ryan, I found your site from visiting pioneerwoman.com. You seem really cool for a practicing Christian. I was raised in church and still consider myself a believer but I stopped going to church about three years ago largely because it bored me. The biggest frustration I have with certain church-going people is they don’t seem to live in my world. It’s like they live in a bubble with their own movies, music and hobbies. They have no interests outside their families and church. They don’t seem to be able to think critically for themselves. They are also fake friendly. I tried joining a twenty -something church group a while back and people did reach out to me, but not in a genuine way. I felt like a project. And I know I have made people feel the same way back in the day.
{reply}
GREAT QUESTION!
It bugs me that most Christians have a “buffet” mentality when it comes to their faith. They take as much as they want of the parts that they like and leave behind the ones they don’t. Singing uplifting songs of praise? Oh yes, a double helping of that please. Abstaining from sex before marriage? Hmmm, no, I think I will pass. Thou shalt not kill? Yeah, great, no problem — pile it on. Thou shalt not commit adultery? No thanks — you see, my spouse hasn’t been treating me well lately and I’m so lonely. Loving my neighbor — the family next door in the quarter million home — yes, I’ll have some of that. Loving my neighbor — the homeless man sleeping under the railroad bridge — well, that just can’t be good for me, can it?
{reply}
Our Pastor has an attitude that it’s much better to see a sermon than preach a sermon. That is hard sometimes, because we are all sinners. You go to church on Sunday and get filled up, but it shouldn’t stop there. People need to surround themselves with other Christian believers, be in the Word and pray. At the end of each service, our Pastor will say, “The Service Starts NOW.” I love this….because it really does. We need to live out that word throughout the week, not just on Sundays.
{reply}
Having been raised christian, and no longer being able to call myself this…I would have to say that the biggest “beef” I have with christianity is the same problem I have with all organized religions. The inability to accept that “there are many paths on the road to enlightenment”. In my opinion, it seems awfully selfish to believe that my beliefs are the only correct ones. I choose to believe that my beliefs are just that…mine. And yours are yours. And that’s okay.
{reply}
I was raised Baptist, baptized Pentecostal, and consider myself pagan.
My main problem with Christianity is the hypocrisy. “Love thy neighbor” becomes “love thy neighbor unless he’s gay or Muslim or the wrong color”. That sort of thing.
{reply}
I stopped going to church a long time ago because of the constant judgements and ‘holier than thou-iness’ that all the so-called Christians passed upon people they didn’t know.
{reply}
i grew up going to church. i left church and have wanted to go back but what keeps me away is the feeling of being judged or judging people who do not have similar beliefs. if god is the only one who can judge us as individuals why do some christians seem to judge everyone around them. sizing up their righteousness. who is worthy to be in this church. god is for everyone. i dont see how i can worship in church to find god if it doesnt feel like a godly place. i’ve been searching for a while for something that felt right. i dont want to be judged and i dont want to be a part of a group who would discriminate against people, such as homosexuals. i’m not gay but i believe all people are the same and deserve the same rights. all people are gods children and should be treated as such.
{reply}
As a child, exposed to various churches and religions, I was dumbfounded at how they each seemed to denigrate the other (churches/religions).
Now, I wonder if I’d be accepted (back at any of them) without being baptized. Because I’m okay with myself, not being baptized.
Or admitting that I believe in God/s, a higher power, a Great Spirit. But I don’t feel called to worhship Jesus.
Yet I love going to church.
Who would accept me, unconditionally, knowing this? These are the things I wonder about. Still.
{reply}
I found you through Pioneer Woman. I like your blog a lot and this posting was very interesting. The quote from Ghandi is very powerful.
As a child I was never, ever (literally not one time) taken to church b/c my dad was raised Roman Catholic in a small upstate NY Italian and Polish community in which the people (especially his parents and family) claimed to be better than everyone else because they were devout churchgoers who participated in everything happening at the church. But then they (again, especially his parents) would go home and drink, swear, argue, and abuse everyone around them. And when I say abuse … it is to an extent that I am grateful never to have experienced and so proud of my dad for overcoming the cycle.
When I was a young adult I approached Christianity from an intellectual perspective. I was curious. I was also living in the south with the military and frankly needed to be able to communicate properly with the locals
I found a wonderful Methodist Church in Fayetteville, NC with a pastor that did not judge, lived the life he preached, was not perfect, and always seemed to be preaching directly to me and the real life issues I had going on (along with everyone else in the pews!)
I found out that Christianity is a personal choice that should be respected internally. We can’t go around expecting others to look up to us simply because we are or claim to be Christians. The way we live our own lives and the way we stay out of other peoples’ lives is what really counts. At least to me, a baby Christian! I do not judge others. I won’t try to force Christianity on anyone. But I sure am glad I found it for myself.
*This is not to say Methodists are better than Catholics … this is only my story of my experiences*
{reply}
The saddest and most perplexing thing I observe about Christians is how few of them seem to really be changed. I see so many so-called Christians that seem to have no problem lying, stealing, cheating, hurting other people. I’m not talking about a once-in-awhile slip up either. I’m talking about people whose lives seem truly unchanged, unaffected by God’s saving grace. It makes me fear that a positive change may be more a state of mind rather than a supernatural indwelling.
I once talked about this to a friend of mine who has been a pastor’s wife for probably 20 years. I asked her, “Why doesn’t salvation seem to make a difference in some people?” Her answer was: “I don’t know. But it just doesn’t seem to.”
Not too encouraging to hear from someone with far more experience than I have in life.
{reply}
The worst ones are outwardly Christian (ie: praying all the time, quoting bible verses, & passing judgment) yet inside - they’re simply using it as a means of feeling superior.
{reply}
I was baptized Catholic, but I was not raised in the church. I don’t know the difference between psalms and proverbs. I still don’t go to church on Sunday or really any other day of the week, because I get the feeling that I’m not welcome. Because I don’t know as much as the other people that are going to church every Sunday and that grew up with the church in their lives, I get the impression that they don’t have the time for someone who is just learning.
If I ask questions, I get preached at or preached to, I get told that the things I do in my life are wrong and that by not bringing my daughter to church every Sunday is going to send her to hell when she dies. Quite honestly, I’m starting to take on the attitude that if I don’t bring her to church on Sunday’s then hopefully she won’t get the holier than thou attitude that I have encountered.
I’m sure I will find a church eventually that will accept us for who we are, I just haven’t found it yet. It’s amazing that people will hold you to a standard, but when you try to meet that standard, they won’t give you the tools to help.
{reply}
Many churches put missions/evangelism before discipleship of their own flock. Missions are like a drug. Quick hits and highs because the poor and starving in other countries flock to Jesus so quickly. The real work of evangalism should be right here at home. Loving the ones who think they need Jesus the least. It’s time to bring missions home. “Love begins by taking care of the closest ones, the ones at home.” Mother Teresa.
{reply}
I’m a Unitarian living in the deep South….and what frustrates me about SOME Christians (certainly not all) is their complete and utter lack of tolerance. We spend quite a bit of time in our church talking about Jesus Christ, as well as the Buddha, Dr. King and others who walk(ed) with compassion and purity of purpose. So many of the people our church throws open its’ doors to welcome (gays and lesbians, for example) are the very people many Christians turn their backs on and dismiss. Why is that? Jesus was such an amazing teacher, what part of his message are they unable to understand? My husband and I are both from Christian backgrounds, but left to become Unitarian because the stench of self-righteousness in the Christian churches was too much to bear. We want our daughters to grow up in a church that is willing to embrace everyone who enters.
{reply}
Good intentions I know, but I have a really hard time feeling like someones mission project.
{reply}
when Christians (or anyone for that matter) forget to love everyone just as God intended them to be.
{reply}
I am not Christian but that does not mean that I lack faith. That does not mean that I don’t seek to do the right thing and seek higher meaning and wisdom. I am not immoral. I am listening and seeking and patiently trying to understand. I believe I have a lot to learn from Jesus and others with pure and good hearts. I believe I have a lot to learn from all of you. But when you tell me I am going to hell or am misguided, you alienate me.
Perhaps none of us know what god wants from us. Don’t assume that just because I don’t use your vocabulary that I am wrong. I am willing to listen and to learn from you. Is it impossible you have things to learn from me?
Don’t start off by telling me everything my life (god) has taught me is wrong.
{reply}
Wow! I was only looking for great recipes on “Pioneer Woman” when I stumbled on this blog and comments! First of all, Pastor Ryan - congrats for the courage to ask this; and thanks to everyone who felt the freedom to comment. I am also a pastor in family ministries - have been for years, but am ready to step back into the secular work world in order for me to save my faith. You see, so much of what people have written in their challenges of what they see “christians” to be, is why, after so many years of working in the church and trying to be different, I am looking at leaving the church world. I guess I wanted to help change the perception of the church in the world - “to be the change rather than to just talk about the change.” I really wanted to be Jesus with skin…
What frustrates me the most about church/christianity is that many christians believe that the “free gift” of salvation, which cost our Saviour everything is so easy - it’s all “add-on” - one of the comments above talked about “buffet-style christianity - pick what you want” - there is no reality that accepting this “gift” means that there is also a tremendous “life cost” - you give up your life willingly to gain His life… somehow, that got lost in translation. It means weeping with people of different faiths and beliefs when their lives come apart - it means hugging and loving that sobbing gay man whose “christian” family has shunned him and declared him dead - it means holding that friend who slipped into a dangerous relationship and is worried that she may be pregnant - it means sitting for hours in a dirty, dusty home of drug addicts (even if the home is under a bridge) and listening to their stories and at the end of the experience, holding them close truly ignoring the filth and smell, and somehow feeling like you’ve sat in the presence of royalty - recognizing that Royalty was right there with you both all the time. It’s about being willing to give up popularity, success, position, power, and praise in order to gain the privilege of being recognized as Jesus’ disciples - flaws and all. It means being so much less, so He can be so much more… sorry - this is meant to be more reflective that preachy - all the best with your talk… and thanks to everyone who shared - I’m a better person because of these entries.
{reply}
wow, what a post, but even more so, how heartwrenching are the comments. like gracylou, i stumbled on your site through the pioneer woman, but then became even more intrigued when i saw my pastor, pastor craig, in a picture in this post. as a continually growing christian from bible belt, it is good to read all the furstrations christians can cause. i believe i need to individually work on many of these complaints. but this realization, the breaking down of what it truly is to live as a ‘christian’.. this is what we need. so thank you for putting yourself out there. and you have motivated me to try to incorparate more of my faith in my blog, the good and the bad.
ashley o.
{reply}
What frustrates me about Christians (myself, included) is that we seem more interested in looking good than in diving deep into the grace, love and mercy of God in Jesus Christ.
{reply}
What I find frustrating ist that Christians don’t play fair. Anyone else’s god is, to them, a fabrication - but their god is real. Based on what? Whatever god you believe in, you don’t KNOW it’s real, there, and listening to you. Christians ultimately don’t know, but have faith - and so does anyone else who believes in any god out there. Why oh why can’t they acknowledge that they have just as little evidence as anybody else has?
{reply}
I hate how Christians are always acting as if they’re better than everybody else (non Christians). They seem so fake; they think that going to church every Sunday makes them a Christian…But once they leave, their words and actions are so hypocritical.
Okay I AM a Christian myself, but seriously most others I know act exactly the way many of the people that commented on this blog…
A few months ago, my church broke up and many of us went our separate ways. I understand that it affected everybody and each person took it their own way. However, all the so called friendship we had in that church completely disappeared. My old pastor used to always be there for me when I needed to talk to him, but as soon as the church split, so did he. He stopped answering his phone and replying to my emails. Just a few days ago I called and he finally answered…We talked for about five minutes, but the entire time it just felt like he didn’t really want to be talking to me. I know that I NEED to let go, but it’s so difficult…Especially when this behavior is coming from an ex-PASTOR. It’s just…fake. Makes me wonder if he (and everybody at that church) ever really cared at all).
[Apologies for my rant!!!]
{reply}
I’ve got a couple of beefs…
My biggest beef is that no one digs deeper. No one wants to actually see what God wants them to see within themselves. Although Christians often look outward as well cause it feels better, I grow tired of the ever growing Christian around me, that does not want to dig deeper. To go further. To extend themselves by actually digging. Christians are too surfaced for their own good.. We must dig deeper people. God is trying to soften the edge to the gem. Why fight it?
Okay my next beef is that we are Christians are too busy turning the other cheek. Yes I know that is what the word tells us to do. But when are we as one going to speak out in our world. Speak our minds. Actually stand up?
My 3rd is that I don’t understand why Americans in the US won’t go the extra mile? We lived overseas for 10 years and in that time, we were with other like minded peeps walking for Jesus. We were all on fire, we cared, we dug deeper, we sought out those lost because we were open, we were grocery shopping and just met someone and had coffee with them and it was okay… But now that we have moved back to the states, I realize that no one will stop. Even Christians won’t stop to care, to actually get out of their own blinders and actually stop to care… Everyone is so worried about themselves that they cannot stop to see their brother or sister.
Okay my 4th… I don’t understand if church invites the presence of the HS into the church, service, men’s groups, wherever in the walls of the church they they try to dictate how long the HS can be there, what the HS can do, and try to put our HS in a box like Jesus. All due to time constraints. They are so busy keeping God in a time frame, they’ve actually missed the presence of the HS…
{reply}
Oh I have another one…
I go weary of those that do not walk with Jesus to think that we are all religious. I know that Christianity is a form of religion, but I am a Christian.. when you get around those that do not know, they are busy always trying to squeeze in the “religious” things just because of our walks. Religion and Christianity are two separate things…. But they assume that I am a religious person, but don’t really know what that means or what it means to walk with Jesus. But when I share that, they just think it’s too religious and there it ends….
{reply}
Okay one more…
I understand that the Lord speaks. But I have a hard time understanding how every single given Sunday a pastor can stand up and preach and be on the money. How come there isn’t one out there that didn’t get anything from God that week? When I pray, sometimes God does not answer me, so how come pastors always have a word? And if they don’t, they feel like they have to “find” one so that they can lead the congregation. Why can’t they honestly say that they prayed and got nothing, so they are going to be open to what the HS is going to do during the service?
{reply}
When people don’t seize the opportunity to grow. I wouldn’t say that it drives me crazy, it more saddens me than anything else. God gives us chance after chance after chance to grow every single day. I can’t even really point a finger because it took me years to realize this simple truth. It took me years to figure out that God wanted to refine me, if only I would allow him to move me close enough to the fire.
The truth is, spiritual maturity brings a new, less aggravating kind of christian. The more that I grow, the more forgiving/tolerant I become. The more forgiving/tolerant I become the more upset I am with the Christian that I have been for the past 9ish years.
Ryan, for what it’s worth, a post you did a few months back has propelled me forward even further. I had never heard the phrase “love wins” but what you said made me want to know more. I finally looked into it a few weeks ago. I listened to the Rob Bell sermon and spent a little time with God ruminating over what it means. I have embraced the mentality and am trying to face every situation with Love Wins in mind. My house has been a much happier place. Much happier. I have been a much happier person. I have decided to devote Wednesday’s to a Love Wins rundown on my blog. (I am hoping the fire will catch on) Thanks for that post that lit the spark so God could really set me on fire. My mom even told me a week ago that she could see a change in me. She could tell that I was more at peace then I had ever been. My reply? I am more at peace because Love Wins. It’s been awesome.
http://momofonefornow.blogspot.com/2008/11/love-is.html
{reply}
Politics in the pulpit. The Christian right has done, possibly irreparable, damage to my desire to be part of a Christian community. This recent election and the way “good Christian” friends handled their views made me ashamed to be considered a Christian.
I hadn’t thought of it before I read a few of the comments but the “lingo” and the “in crowd” feel to things in particularly evangelical churches is something that I think people need to fight against. I grew up in a Presbyterian church and when I went to college and got involved with campus ministry it was like people were speaking a different language even though looking back now, I realize much of my hometown church experience was VERY real and full of authenticity. Still, somehow, I was fooled into believing I’d been missing out.
Awww… well, it’s a long spiritual journey I’ve been on and while I love the Lord. I don’t much like Christians… at least not the ones I seem to encounter in recent years.
{reply}
I’m here because of your post today Dec 3.
My husband and I don’t attend an organized church. We live in the South, in a smaller city. Don’t get me wrong, I know that there are a lot of true Christians out there, but more and more, we run into “faux Christians”. You know the ones that attend church on Sunday, so they can do whatever they want the rest of the week.
The ones that donate money to the church in very public ways, but cheat their customers to pay for that donation.
The ones that judge others and cover for other lying church members. The ones that feel that if you don’t attend church you aren’t following God’s word.
It’s pretty disheartening. I wish we could find a church that fit. But until then, we’ll just do the good things we can and leave the churches to the “faux Christians”
Now I’m off to listen to the sermon you posted today (dec 3)
{reply}
I have problems, I will be the first to say it, but I desperately love Jesus. Do I read my bible everyday? Do I go to church every Sunday? Nope. Does God still love me? Amazingly, yes. I dont deserve it.
My background: I went to a christian school for 13 years and saw a lot of all this crap that have to do with Christians–in fact it made my brother run away from the whole Christian thing.
After I graduated I realized all the religious mumbo-jumbo that the school was teaching me. It has taken me more than a year to find my own way and breaking down all the religious crap that they taught me.
If you look at the gospels, Jesus gets upset with only one group–the religious people. I decided I would not be religious. I am just a lover of the Lord and want to make everyone feel loved, because those are the most important things.
I hate it when bad Christians ruin the whole attitude towards the people that are really trying to be a light.
{reply}
I find it sad when we act like and claim that we have nailed God and God’s ways down…as if we could know. Worse is when we judge people based on our “God” knowledge…as if we should judge. Even worse is when we tell people what God is going to do to/with them when they die…as if that’s our place. The absolute worst is when we bask in the joy of what God will do to/with us when we die. The funny thing is that I have yet to meet a person/christian who thinks THEY are going to a place called hell…it is always the OTHER person/people who are going there.
{reply}
Personally, the intolerance for other religions, or simply other belief systems, that Christians have bothers me the most. If we are supposed to love unconditionally, why can’t we respect others as well? Humiliating another person because they aren’t followers of Christianity seems to be the most un-Christian thing to do. If you want to believe your faith is the true faith, that’s fine with me. But please, be kind and respectful of others as well.
God made us all different, and all special, regardless of nationality and religious belief.
{reply}
I am a Christian. Have been all my life. My views have changed dramatically through the years, but I still have faith in Christ. There, having said that, here’s what bothers me about Christians:
First, if I meet another Christian and they find out the I believe even slightly different than they do, it’s like they’ve dismissed me as a believer and I’m their new “project.” So, if I drink, I can’t be a Christian. If I believe that evolution could be true, I can’t be saved. If I vote anything other than Republican, I can’t be a Christian. That’s my main bother.
Second thing that bugs me (and I’ll give an example): I have had the week from hell this week. I called my mother in law to ask for prayer and she gave me a mini-sermon on tithing. What? I didn’t call her financial advice. I didn’t call so that I could be put down and told I’m doing something wrong if I’m not tithing, and that’s why everything is falling apart. I called for prayer. Encouragement. Compassion. Someone to cry to. I needed support and she decided to preach. Why must Christians always preach so much? Why not just love, as Christ did?
{reply}
I’m so late finding this blog, thus very late answering this question, but I feel a need to do so nonetheless. I haven’t read the other answers yet, as I wanted to say what I’m feeling without the influence of others. Probably many have said already what I’m about to say. Here goes: Hypocrisy. People who claim to be Christian, but live a life of hatred rather than love. They *think* they know the Bible, and are all too willing to quote from it to *prove* they are right on any given topic. However, what they quote is almost always out of context. These people hate everyone who does not believe exactly as they believe. They promulgate hatred. Worst of all, they feel entitled to judge other people. The Bible clearly says “Judge not, lest ye be judged.” and “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone” and “And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?” Of course, these people will quote scripture back at you, defending their right, as Christians, to judge others. However, these verses speak of ‘judgment’ as in making good choices in their own lives, not as permission to invoke danmation on others. I know that many people, possibly even yourself, might agree with the ‘other side’ of my argument, however MY God is a God of love, who sent His only son to die for our sins.
So many atrocities have been enacted in the name of “Christianity”, but when one points this out, the reply is usually, “Yes, but that was in the *Dark Ages*”. Not all of them. And, it is my fear that we are once again entering the *Dark Ages* Not that we’ve ever really left them. Most KKK members, from my understanding, are to be found in Church nearly every Sunday. Or, what about The Rev. Fred Phelps? Or, Jeremiah Wright? The list is endless. No wonder so many people are leaving church. No wonder so many Christians are almost embarrassed to admit that they are Christians? Even though I am NOT ashamed to be a Christian, many times I feel obligated, nearly, to explain that I’m not one of *them*, meaning the *radical right* or whatever they’re called. I don’t understand how they cannot see that they’re just as bad as the radical Shiites.
I only hope that people can see through these *false Christians* (as I call them) and realise that most of us aren’t like them. Unfortunately, they are the ones who get most of the publicity. They can be found on nearly every board and forum, (usually posting as *anonymous*). They are the ones that, regardless of the topic, will say that all of our ills are caused by women in the workforce, homosexuals, Obama being elected as President, and on and on. Really, the article to which they are responding could be about the opening of a new restaurant, or an article on flu shots, it really doesn’t matter WHAT the topic is, you are likely to see them spewing their hatred on things which don’t relate in any way to the topic at hand.
I don’t see how we, as Christians, can do anything but pray for them. We are Americans, (most of us here,anyway) first and foremost, and as such have the right to our opinions, and are allowed to publicly state them. I must grant them that right, although they don’t willingly grant the same to me, or to others who might disagree with them. I only hope that Christianity can survive their invective and hatred. I do have faith, but at times it is sorely tested.
OK, I hope I have been able to express what I find *frustrating* about SOME Christians, and that I have not *preached* nor *bashed* anyone in the process. I thank you for this opportunity, even though it is late. It just felt good to express it.
{reply}
I think the thing I hate the most is our lack of being able to just love others. I wish we could wash away the need to fix, judge, talk about and criticize and learn to just love others. I have found that pain is the only thing I have found that allows us to love others when they are in the “yucky places”. No wonder there is so much of it allowed in our lives.
I want to love better. Be a light to others and to show them the love of the man who I call “my Jesus”.
Julie
http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/juliestew
{reply}
What concerns me most is the people that complain all the time, yet never stand up and try to be part of the solution. We are supposedly the body of Christ and yet many times we fail to even move. We would rather place the blame on someone else. However, I know there are times when other Christians fall short, sometimes during crisis and heartache. Something that I learned from my husband being gone to Iraq for 13 months is that when you need help you need to ask for what you specifically need from your family, friends, and church. I learned that after being hurt because others weren’t doing what I thought I needed, I talked to my sister in law and found out that holy crow she couldn’t read my mind. It was the same way with those at church. Once I made it clear what would help, my church family stepped it up a notch and I will be forever grateful to them.
I’ve seen too many people at church who fall away because of something someone else did. It’s really sad because the very doctrines of Christ are about forgiveness and mercy. If we expect him to forgive us of our tresspasses, should we too in turn forgive others. There should be more love and service, less criticism and backbiting.
{reply}
The thing I hate most is something I’ve seen personally in my own family: lived the wild life, found Christ, became holier than thou and then won’t forgive and love on anyone who’s life you don’t agree with.
I’ve recently started trying to see people as if Christ was standing next to them with his hand on their shoulder, pleading with me to forgive THEM like HE had. Very powerful stuff.
{reply}
I’m not Christian myself, but I am totally down with the idea of being good to one another — what higher purpose, regardless of who/what/where it is from, could we have before us in our time on Earth (because, let’s face it, we all seem to be here for at least the time being) than to favorably impact the lives of others? While that is a Christian message, it’s a non-Christian one as well.
The Christians whom I dislike are the ones who act like I MUST CONVERT. I realize that one of the beliefs of Christianity is that your way, your beliefs are the only “true” ones, and while that may be (who am I to make such a decision?), I don’t feel that it is your place do push that upon me. I have no problem with missionaries sharing their message, especially if they are also involved in the communities that they are living it — people focused on goodwill can do a lot of good! It’s the ones who are relentless, who look down on me for not being Christian, the ones who are adamant (even quietly so) that I am wrong in what I believe — those are the ones who bother me.
You may feel that I would be better off your way. But I do not give you permission to tell me that my very being is wrong. I do not feel that that is your decision to make. If there is a God, isn’t that his call? If I’m happy with who I am, I’d like for you to accept me, just as I am, as well.
{reply}
What bugs me most is the people who can’t see fantasy from reality. The Christians who won’t go see certain movies or read books like Harry Potter. A “Christian” tried to tell me that playing World of Warcraft was a sin because I was practicing witchcraft since the character I played was a warlock. Playing a video game does not mean I’m a witch and neither does reading Harry Potter.
{reply}
the world has watched us judge and devour our wounded….and stand as whitewashed walls and empty tombs
{reply}
I was raised in church, until I was 16. I had a very close relationship with my youth leaders. They had been basically “my second parents” from the time I was 7, until I moved away when I was 15. I would travel with them when they went on mission trips or to minister at other churches. For Christmas one year, I went with them and spent a couple weeks around Christmas a few states away with their family. I looked up to them, and had so much respect for them, and I wanted to have a relationship with Christ like the one that they had. I’m now 21, married, and I’m the mother to an amazing little girl. I don’t attend church there anymore. I decided to visit my old church with my little girl, and I got really excited when I saw this couple there (they had recently taken over pastoring a church a couple states away and were visiting). However, when I went to talk to them and introduce them to my daughter for the first time, they literally turned their backs on me and acted like I wasn’t there. They wouldn’t even acknowledge me, simply because I no longer lived the way that they believe is right. I don’t understand how such devout Christians could behave in such an un-Christlike manner. It devastated me. I know it’s petty, but I haven’t been able to go back to that church since.
{reply}
One Trackback
[...] floodgates to be opened when I posted a question a couple weeks back. It was in (click me—>this post var sc_project=3871712; var sc_invisible=1; var sc_partition=51; var sc_click_stat=1; var [...]