Two of my friends are ditching me and I couldn’t be happier.
Andy left on Sunday for a 3-week trip to South Africa. Today he will be arriving in Egypt to stare into a wonder of the world called the pyramids. My normal layovers look more like a Borders bookstore inside an Atlanta airport. Soon he’ll reach his actual destination where he will allow himself to be poured out and broken open for a people who need to experience the love and hope of Christ. Andy has become the new Andy.
Paul is leaving today. He is traveling to Kathmandu, Nepal for at least a year. He’s been in a place of waiting for the last several months because he had already made the decision that he was going for it. There is always a process in between the promise and the payoff. Paul has been living in the process…living in the tedious and the monotonous everyday…waiting it out because he was called to go and do rather than come and see. His plane leaves today at 3pm – traveling towards the payoff. Paul has become the new Paul.
We are who we are, but some of us are more of a turd than others. I am a recovering turd.
5 years ago I would have been described by my friends with these words:
NEGATIVE.
CYNICAL.
JERK.
ARGUMENTATIVE.
GLASS HALF-EMPTY…and filled with vinegar.
COMPLAINER.
INTROVERTED.
While I’m still all of those things from time to time, they no longer define me. I have become a new me. Honestly it was the single most exciting revelation I’ve had since I became a follower of Christ.
2 Corinthians 5:17 says, Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! – I’m not sure when I heard this, or better yet, when it smashed me in the face like a shovel, but this hit me like a ton of bricks. I distinctly remember having the thought I can be whoever I want to be. When I thought about this it dawned on me that so much of my life was being lived by the expectations people had of me. I was fulfilling the things people thought me to be.
It goes something like this:
Day 1 – I’m negative to a friend about something.
Day 2 – I’m negative to that very same friend about something else.
Day 3 – Once again I am negative to my friend.
Day 4 – Friend tells me that I am always negative.
Day 5 – I think about being positive about something, but I’m afraid my friend will think something is up…so I’m negative again. Because it’s “safe” and it’s comfortable. It’s me. I am negative.
And so I hold myself in contempt and I don’t allow myself to change because it defines me. Many of us are defined by our anger or our negativity or our cynicism and we’re afraid to let go of it. If we let go of that…what will we have left?
That’s where the revelation came in…I can be whoever I want to be. I don’t have to be that guy anymore. Each new person I meet can be introduced into a new version of myself. If they’ve never met me before, how can they know that I’m always negative? They don’t have to. I can be whoever I want to be. With this new person I meet; I can be outgoing and I can be positive and I can ultimately be a new version of me. And the really cool part is when a new friend of mine meets an old friend of mine and they actually get confused when they’re talking about me…as if it’s two different people…because it is. I am the new me.
How about instead of trying to get someone else to do what you’re supposed to be doing; fire yourself, walk out the door, come back in and do it yourself.
Man, I totally know what you’re talking about.
Yay, you!
Good luck to your friends, hope that have a wonderful and blessed time.
~Brea
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Ryan you are not a turd. No way no how.
You are here to allow the divine beauty of God to unfold unto the world and that is exactly what you are doing. And it’s awesome.
We all are just some of us figure that out later than sooner.
Have a stinkin awesome rest of the day!!!!
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I must say, I’ve never had a group of friends who inspired me more than ya’ll
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I know what you mean here, Ryan! I often struggle with the old stuff even though I know that’s not me. Jesus died to make me whole…My spirit was reborn and the fullness of who I am in Him resides in my spirit…Getting that to manifest in the natural can be a challenge…I also have been one to worry too much about what other people think. That gets me into so many funks and so many episodes of anxiety. I forget that God’s opinion is what matters and if Scripture is true, he thinks I’m pretty darn cool even I screw up. Hard to hang onto that truth when I’m having a bad day! I’ll help you stay out of that pit if you will help me!
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great stuff. For some reason the CC oldie song, “He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it,” comes to mind as a continuation of the thought. We couldn’t have more different backgrounds, but sometimes (lots of times, probably) those of us that were brought up “in the middle of it” grow up and have spiritual awakening too.
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I always like to look back on the past year and evaluate if I am a better person —more Christ-like than I was the year before. Sometimes I need to remind myself half way through the year (or more) that the OLD is GONE! I am a new creation.
Great entry today…I like the new Ryan.
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My former pastor, Wes Lackey, used to say at every worship, “The past is past, you are a new person in Christ – free to love and free to be loved.” I used to long for that time in the service, so I could be reminded that I am a new person. It wasn’t until much later that I realized-and truly believed-that I didn’t have to wait for Sunday! I was a new person EVERY DAY!
It was another person that helped me realize that because I can never BE Christ, there will always be times that I’m a turd, so I need to ask forgiveness, then FORGIVE MYSELF, and be a new person. So in a way being a turd has no lasting power…
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this came to my mind when i read one of the lines in your blog…
NAS!
I know I can (I know I can)
Be what I wanna be (be what I wanna be)
If I work hard at it (If I work hard at it)
I’ll be where I wanna be (I’ll be where I wanna be)
Be, B-Boys and girls, listen up
You can be anything in the world, in God we trust
An architect, doctor, maybe an actress
But nothing comes easy it takes much practice
Like, I met a woman who’s becoming a star
She was very beautiful, leaving people in awe
Singing songs, Lina Horn, but the younger version
Hung with the wrong person
Got her strung on that
Heroin, cocaine, sniffin up drugs all in her nose…
Coulda died, so young, now looks ugly and old
No fun cause now when she reaches for hugs people hold they breath
Cause she smells of corrosion and death
Watch the company you keep and the crowd you bring
Cause they came to do drugs and you came to sing
So if you gonna be the best, I’ma tell you how,
Put your hands in the air, and take a vow
I know I can (I know I can)
Be what I wanna be (be what I wanna be)
If I work hard at it (If I work hard at it)
I’ll be where I wanna be (I’ll be where I wanna be)
Be, B-Boys and girls, listen again
This is for grown looking girls who’s only ten
The ones who watch videos and do what they see
As cute as can be, up in the club with fake ID
Careful, ‘fore you meet a man with HIV
You can host the TV like Oprah Winfrey
Whatever you decide, be careful, some men be
Rapists, so act your age, don’t pretend to be
Older than you are, give yourself time to grow
You thinking he can give you wealth, but so
Young boys, you can use a lot of help, you know
You thinkin life’s all about smokin weed and ice
You don’t wanna be my age and can’t read and write
Begging different women for a place to sleep at night
Smart boys turn to men and do whatever they wish
If you believe you can achieve, then say it like this
Be, be, ‘fore we came to this country
We were kings and queens, never porch monkeys
There was empires in Africa called Kush
Timbuktu, where every race came to get books
To learn from black teachers who taught Greeks and Romans
Asian Arabs and gave them gold when
Gold was converted to money it all changed
Money then became empowerment for Europeans
The Persian military invaded
They heard about the gold, the teachings, and everything sacred
Africa was almost robbed naked
Slavery was money, so they began making slave ships
Egypt was the place that Alexander the Great went
He was so shocked at the mountains with black faces
Shot up they nose to impose what basically
Still goes on today, you see?
If the truth is told, the youth can grow
Then learn to survive until they gain control
Nobody says you have to be gangstas, hoes
Read more learn more, change the globe
Ghetto children, do your thing
Hold your head up, little man, you’re a king
Young Princess when you get your wedding ring
Your man is saying “She’s my queen”
Save the music y’all, save the music y’all
Save the music y’all, save the music y’all
Save the music
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Cool entry, Ryan. First, prayers to your traveling friends. Sounds like quite the adventure.
Second, who I am becoming has everything to do with who/what I’m listening to. If I listen to the doubt, etc. that the enemy puts in my heart, well then I become that person. On the other hand, if I listen to the story Jesus is wanting me to hear, … well, you know how that one plays out.
Radically different realities, depending on what you revolve around.
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I like to think of my Christian walk as a work in progress. Yes, God made me a new person but it is my responsibility to get rid of the negative aspects of myself that aren’t attractive. With prayer and self-determination I have overcome alot but still have a long way to go. I think knowing that we aren’t perfect, forgiving ourselves when we mess up and striving to become more Christ-like is what keeps us humble.
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I like how that last picture makes the Earth look round.
So crazy, everyone know that the Earth is flat.
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dancing shoes in new…
That is sweet! I wish my wife would understand it….
[...] I wrote about him leaving a year ago: http://www.thisisreverb.com/2008/11/the-all-new-you.html [...]