Allison and I have been married for close to 6 years. We have always put up a fake tree and this year we decided it was time to go with a real one.
It was a fun experience for us and so exciting for Ava. It just seemed so much cooler than getting an old box out of the attic and putting a bunch of pipe-cleaners into a pole. The smell of it is worth it all.
It’s always exciting to get all the ornaments out and begin the remembering process.
Yes…it’s a pickle. What’s it to you?
As Ava becomes more and more curious about more and more things…it’s obvious that we’ll have to make a decision on what to tell her as far as Santa Claus(e) is concerned. It’s amazing to me how many people are adamantly against or for this crushed velvet superstar.
The main argument for Santa would be that it is a harmless fable for kids to believe in…and it’s fun. It builds a sense of excitement into the holiday season for the children.
The main argument against Santa would be that we are lying to our kids. Not only that, but also that if we tell them Santa is real, yet invisible…the Easter bunny is real…yet invisible…and the tooth fairy is real…yet invisible; we are creating a scenario where God will be lumped into the same category – Real, but invisible.
Many have told me that this is setting our kids up for Atheism because once they figure out all the holiday stories are false…God will be false too.
I must respectfully disagree. Allison and I are allowing Ava to believe the story of Santa Clause at this time. I understand the argument, but if my God is to be lumped in with Santa, the Easter bunny, and the tooth fairy…well, He isn’t really worth believing in anyway.
I would hope that my goal as a parent and spiritual head of my household would be to help my children come to know the real God…He who is far too big to be lumped in with fables.
Christmas Tree Setup from Ryan Detzel on Vimeo.
pretty sure this is the only page worth coming out of my reader for today. nice design! so simple and easy to read. ahhhhh
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Ryan is right. There is no comparison between a tree made by God and one made by bob in the downtown factory.
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When my daughter is a little older I’m sure we’ll do a real tree as well. And she’ll get gifts from Santa, I was “lied to” as a child/believed in Santa and that never shook my belief in God.
I like the little notes on those ornaments…are those just the year’s main events? Such a great idea!
The pickle is SO important for a tree! My mom has a pickle on her tree, I keep forgetting to get one. Gah!
Great post as always.
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I’m with you, Ryan. God is so much bigger than that. This didn’t used to be something that even came up – I’m older than you, and when I was a kid, we ALL believed in Santa, yet I don’t see an entire generation of atheists. I never felt that my parents were lying to me when telling me about Santa, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy. God was different, and I never had any doubts about that. Of course, my mom always made sure that I knew who the real St. Nicholas was, and the real reason we were celebrating Christmas and Easter, and that this had nothing to do with Santa and the Bunny. They were just perks.
And on Christmas Day, after my kids open their gifts from family, friends, and Santa, we sit down to dinner…and for dessert? We have a birthday cake for Jesus.
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very nice! I wish I could have a real tree… sadly, it’s not worth cleaning cat puke up every morning. Evergreen + Kitty tummies = bad.
I think you’re right on with the santa thing. I never thought he was “invisible” as a kid, just sneaky. And don’t recall any confusion with lumping God into the same category.
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I like that the lights went up twice. Nice song selection, too.
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I like how Annie’s family dealt with the Santa issue – making it a “perk”
. As far as truly believing in Santa – I know someone that found out at school when he was around 7yrs old that Santa wasn’t real. He then came home and asked his parents if that meant Jesus wasn’t real. 2 of my nieces have been teased at school for believing in Santa and one of them was so disappointed she just cried and cried over it. I don’t want to deal with any of that so our kids (5 and 3) know about St. Nicholas and how the legend of Santa came about. We’ve decided it’s okay to pretend about him but we really make the season about celebrating Jesus. We sing Happy Birthday to Jesus after our kids open their gifts from Him! It’s such a tough decision for parents and we need to respect each other with what we consider right for our own family.
You have a beautiful Christmas tree! It’s so much fun to celebrate with kids!
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Do you remove the pickle and put it back on Christmas Eve? I understood the tradition to be the first one to locate the pickle gets to open the first present.
I also enjoyed the lights on, lights off, lights on the tree!
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I’m not concerned about the whole “if you “lie” to your kids about Santa then they will think you are lying about God” thing either. I figure we talk about Santa a few weeks out of the year but we talk about God all year long. We pray to God and thank Him for everything all year long. We’ve never prayed to Santa Claus! No one ever even thanks Santa Claus for the presents he supposedly left! We also don’t go to church and hear about Santa Claus, we don’t read a bible about Santa Claus, we don’t worship Santa Claus, or try to teach our kids to have a personal relationship with Santa Claus, etc. That’s another thing you can add to your list of what drives us nuts about Christians: sometimes we worry too much about the wrong things!
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Christmas Pickle! Woohoo! We have one on our tree too. It was a tradition in my wife’s family, so it lives on with us.
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Everyone needs a Christmas pickle – it’s good luck!
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Thanks for making such a great point on Santa, I struggle with this each year and as my oldest is now 7 I know the time of telling the fablehood of Santa is drawing closer and I can’t wait for him to be in the know. But I also agree that done right God is real and present and not at all invisible.
Merry Christmas.
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I don’t think kids who believe in Santa are more likely to become atheists, but I don’t like to tell my kids something is true if it isn’t. I sign gift tags “from Rudolph” or from “SpongeBob”, but I make sure they know we’re pretending. I don’t believe there is anything bad or evil about Santa, but I don’t want my kids to ever wonder why Momma encouraged them to believe something that’s not true. To each his own, though! I held on to my belief in Santa for as long as I could.
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Nice pictures. Most people know where I stand on the Santa issue. Just because you didn’t grow up to be an atheist because of it (although I do know someone who did to some degree) or your parents did it or everyone is doing it doesn’t mean that you have to. I actualy was finishing up my blog on this issue right before I read yours.
http://danthoms.blogspot.com/2008/12/while-i-was-in-india-i-had-pleasure-of.html
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…It’s all good until they ask you why we have to pack up shoeboxes for Operation Christmas Child, because doesn’t Santa deliver toys to all children?
My pitiful answer, “Um, well…I don’t think so, because those children don’t have chimneys, so he doesn’t realize that he has to stop”. I suck a lying.
Oh the shame.
The other problem with the Santa myth is that you don’t get to tell your kids not to bring their ipods in the shower with them because they cost a lot of money.
That being said, we’re raising our kids under the Santa myth because the kids are fearfully on their best behavior all month long and that’s just priceless.
What scares me is that they seem to revere Santa more than God sometimes. We’ve got some work to do there.
Sorry Jesus!
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It’s very difficult for us to avoid Santa because our neighbor looks just like him and is very busy this time of year. My 10 year old son still believes in Santa, mainly because of Mr. Johnson – “Mom, he just lives in Plano to throw people off-he’s the REAL SANTA.” I’ve never really thought about the whole imaginary Santa=imaginary God, because we also have talked about St. Nicholas and the fact that what’s really important about Santa is the spirit of giving, which then ties into the Holy Spirit moving us to be more like Christ… my feeling is anything that helps drive home the ideas of love, peace, service, and giving, etc., can’t be all bad. And as far as our children knowing God, in my mind it would only be a problem if we only worshiped God during Christmas or Easter… Santa and Easter Bunny are transient, annual appearances, while God is everywhere, all the time, forever and ever (Amen!).
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Beautiful tree. We have been debating on whether or not to get a real tree this year also. We are afraid our crazy dog will pee on it. He’s already done that to one of our houseplants. And the whole Santa thing, I don’t remember being adversaly affected when I found out Santa wasn’t real, but I know many who were. That is why when Jonathan, at the age of 5 or 6, figured out that he wasn’t real, I didn’t tell him otherwise. Even though they nkow the truth, they still get into the whole Santa thing. We have to leavve cookies for him. Well, maybe that is always Doug’s idea….
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Ahh,nothing like the smell of a real tree! When our kids were growing up we lived in a house that had a family room that opened up to the 2nd floor. We got a 17 foot tree one year and the kids never forgot that. As far as Santa, my kids believed and they are none the worse for it.
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Some years ago, when my 17 year old daughter asked the truth about Santa, the blow was cushioned because she had a little sister and I told her she was now “in on the big secret” and had to keep it alive for her little sis. But now that the little one is 11, I don’t know what to tell her when she figures out the truth!
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Thank you for saying that it’s your responsibility to shape your child’s beliefs. I’m so totally amazed at the number of parents, that think it’s ok for someone else…school, tv, other kid’s parents…to decide what’s right for their child.
And children are able to learn much more that we give them credit for. I totally think that they can comprehend the difference in God being invisible, but all around us and Santa being invisible.
I love the smell of a real tree, but I couldn’t work past the sap that got all over my ornaments. DH and I collect new ones where ever we go, so my collection is important to us. So we had to switch to a fake tree and a pine smelling candle.
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really sweet post..I believed my kids believed and now my grandkids are believing…great argument.
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When my children caught on to the Santa issue, I explained to them that, while Saint Nicholas doesn’t live now, I chose to honor his spirit by continuing to do what he had done for children. I then explained that essentially everybody is a child of God, and that we should try to do good things for others, especially when they are in need. The traditions regarding Saint Nicholas have been altered through the years, and Santa Claus is the current icon. I think that the idea of Santa Claus is important because it teaches about giving and in some ways, it teaches about accountability for behaviors. It also allows children to maintain some sense of actually being a child. So many parents force their kids to grow up too fast.
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1. I gots me one of them pickles
2. We believe in Santa at our house
3. We believe that Jesus Christ is our Savior
4. I believe in saying Merry Christmas and not Happy Holidays!!!!
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In my home, Puerto Rico, we thought of Santa as a happy old guy from another country that liked to give out presents to children and that’s why we got presents on December 25th. The reason he passed presents out this day is because of the birth of Jesus, since it was the biggest present God had given us. The real story, why we got presents for Christmas was on January 6th, with the celebration of “Epiphany”, where the “wise” men brought presents to Jesus in the manger. The reason we got presents that day was because Jesus did, because we are children like He was.
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I think it usually comes down to what you were raised with. People have warm fuzzies over their Santa experiences and want that for their kids. DH and I never grew up with the Santa traditions but we had plenty of mystery and wonder in the advent season, so we felt no need to include Santa in our kids Christmas celebrations. I guess to this family of “non-santa-celebrators” it’s kind of like, “who needs Santa? We’ve got Jesus!” And sticking Santa in there would feel like Jesus didn’t cut it in the mystery and wonder department or something. I just can’t even fathom putting Santa in anywhere in our celebration as it would be so incredibly out of place. It’s the Birthday of The King. I can’t even picture trying to put Santa into our celebrations as it would seem so out of place. And personally I wonder what syncretism would look like in our day and age, if not like that. No offense or anything… I am so not condescending about it or anything, just being honest about the way I see it and why we don’t. We love fantasy by the way and we do all kinds of fantastic make believe… just not mixed in with our spiritual celebrations.
Hope this is taken in the spirit it’s intended, just sharin’ a different point of view, but not sitting in judgement of anyone else’s. God looks at the heart, and that means that both sides can be right on this issue, if their hearts are right. At least that’s my opinion.
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woops… I didn’t mean to repeat that sentence twice… dratted editing with a bay in my lap…
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When I asked my mom why she continued the “myth” of Santa she told me it was more about believing in the “spirit” of Christmas than the actual commercial head of it.
The commercial head stands for giving, thinking of others, being cheerful.
What can be so bad about that?
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In our household God is mentioned every day if for nothing else but when we say grace at dinner. We still celebrate St Nicholas Day (Dec 6) by receiving a few candies and small items in shoes that morning. Then we celebrate Jesus on Christmas Eve followed by the all American Santa on Christmas morning. Our children were taught that the spirit of giving is a reminder of what God gave to us. They always went shopping for a gift for Santa to give to soneone else beginning when they were about two or three. Santa needs help from everyone, not just his elves! They still receive presents from Santa on Christmas morning. My children are in their 30′s and are teaching their children (all of whom are foster children) the same message. We never told them about the “Santa Lie” and they have never asked.
Love the notes on the Christmas ornaments! We have real and artificial trees in our house (2 of each).
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I love those list ornaments! My main problem with Santa comes from working in an outreach to kids in extreme poverty. Most of the kids I work with are EXTREMELY sweet. A lot of them are MUCH better behaved than the private school kids during the week. So what does that say to them? Kids are constantly preached at that Santa comes to those who are good. Um no Santa comes to those who are wealthy. Yeah they are toy drives but kids still get overlooked. One kid who is sweet but in poverty NOT feeling “good enough” is enough for me to want to do away with the whole thing.
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I have been a lurker here for a short time and enjoy the daily postings. I was so glad to see you address the santa issue. I have two daughters, 2 and 4 (almost 5) and have really struggled with what to say regarding Santa. Last year I just avoided to subject and it didn’t seem to be an issue but this year she is asking questions about Santa and I really resist the worlds view of Christmas and the need to lie to our kids about Santa. I am trying to keep it in check, making it as much about the birth of Jesus as I possibly can with a sprinkle of Santa thrown in. I did have to draw the line with the Easter bunny…
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Growing up, I always knew that Christmas was for Jesus (and not Santa.) Did Santa visit our home? Sure! My father was in the military, though, and he wasn’t always home for Christmas.
Each year, on December 25th, we celebrated the birth of Jesus. It is his birthday, after all
Then, whenever Dad was home (before, after, sometimes in February or March) we’d set up the tree again and Mom would “call” Santa. Santa was an idea, a concept, a way to do kind things for someone else without anyone knowing. He didn’t have to come on Christmas, he could come any time. As we got older, my brother and I figured out who Santa really was….
And then we’d go out, buy presents, and leave them all over marked, “To Mom, from Santa.” “To Dad, from Santa.” and so forth. There was something about doing something kind for someone without expecting anything in return that helped our family keep what was real, and Christian, about Christmas.
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I don’t know if anyone has asked you this yet or not but I really want to know what settings you had your camera on when you took the tree pics. I can’t seem to get it right.
Thanks!
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We taught our children about Santa – that is, the REAL St. Nicholas who spread the gospel with his gift giving to the poor at Christmas. I think he would turn over in his grave if he knew that the world was using HIM as a distraction from the gospel! We’ve given our children gifts from Santa and have even posed with him at the mall, but only after reading about the REAL one and understanding where his heart truly was.
The thing is, I wanted my children to believe me ALWAYS. I will not lie to my children, even if it’s uncomfortable or inconvenient for me. I want them to BELIEVE me! I never wanted them to have even a hint of doubt about what I was teaching or telling them whether that be about God or about not touching a hot pan right from the oven.
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when my son was five years old I leveled with him about Santa. I explained that there is no fat guy in a red velvet suit with eight tiny reindeer flying around the world in one night delivering toys created by elves at the North Pole. However, there is the spirit of the season in picking out a gift for someone, wrapping it while anticipating their joy when they unwrap it. There is joy to be found in giving to others, and that is what we celebrate, the spirit of the season, the joy of giving. I told him that we could pretend about Santa, or not, it was up to him. On December 23rd my son came to me and said, “Mommy, are we going to put milk and cookies out for Santa, and some carrots for the reindeer?” I asked if he remembered our talk, and he nodded yes and then said, “well, are we?” And we did…and have every year since. The talk worked when my Dad gave it to me, on a winter afternoon after the kids at school teased me for believing in Santa. I was ten, and I was *devastated* to think Santa wasn’t real. My Dad showed me that Santa is not one person…he is the embodiment of all the goodness that we are capable of.
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We too have a Christmas tree pickle.
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Hi Ryan. I first want to say that I really like your blog and hope you keep posting.
As for Santa and Christmas. I completely understand your comments. In fact, with our adopted daughter, we considered not including Santa with Christmas because we didn’t want her to ever think that we were deceiving her. Two days after we had discussed it, my mom sent a Santa ornament that she had found in my grandma’s chest (passed away a few years earlier). It was a sign to me that believing in Santa is ok in our family. Santa, Easter Bunny….Yes, in the true sense, all fantasy. However, the concept of believing in someone or something you cannot see, is very powerful. I think these myths help children to believe in God to a certain degree.
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What a beautiful tree! My in-laws just blessed us with a tree today… so cool since we didn’t think we’d be able to afford one! Drat the economy!
) I love the hanging and rehanging of the lights… rearranging? And beautiful ornaments!!
My girls all believe in Santa, and my oldest will be 10 in January. She has asked about him, telling me that she thinks we (mom & dad) are Santa. My response was to teach her about St. Nicholas, and to read her Yes, Virginia, There Is A Santa Claus. I can never get through the last couple lines without crying LOL
They KNOW God, and they know that Jesus is our Lord and Saviour. On Christmas, we carry on the tradition of singing Happy Birthday to Jesus and reading the Christmas story. They know.
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I loved watching the video, the redo on the lights made me laugh. What a great way to capture the memory.
When my son figured out that Santa wasn’t real, he just came out and asked me. I responded, “What do you think?” He knew the answer. But then he asked, “How about the Easter Bunny?” And I replied, “Do you really think there is a 6′ bunny?” And he laughed. It is years later and he has never questioned me about God.
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Every year it’s tradition that my sister and I would get at least one ornament celebrating something major, or something that we were interested for that year. At 21 that’s led to many an ornament celebrating my first steps, to the first year I danced in a solo for ballet, began studying Spanish all the way up to last year when I was married. Now all those ornaments (save the “our first Christmas” ornament my husband and I have) back in Florida. I love the idea of your listed ornaments, I’ve never seen anything like them before.
We have a pickle too, and it’s a hot item at one of my favorite stores! The Lucky Pickle is an awesome tradition.
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We lied to our kids about Santa, Easter Bunny, tooth fairy, etc. until this year when we started going to a new church with a pastor who speaks clearly and plainly. To be honest, I had doubts about telling my oldest about Santa when I first did it, it just felt wrong. I grew up with Santa and loved believing in him. I can’t say that believing in him made me not believe in God, but I took lots of wrong turns in life before I ended up where I am now. Do I blame that on Santa, no way, but I didn’t always believe my parents either when they said what was best for me. In this day and age where kids are being hit from every angle with worldly evils, we have to maintain every foothold we have with them as parents. To me, it meant not lying to them anymore. I just told them Santa was a game that we play, and if they want to keep playing, then we can, but we have to remember that Christmas is about Jesus. To make it about Santa takes away from the real meaning. And really, I had a huge heart change over this just recently….if you had told my kids last year that there was no Santa, I would’ve run you down in the parking lot! LOL!
The thing is, I can’t expect others at the church to lie as well. You can call Santa a fable, but if you don’t represent him as one, then you’re just lying. I do read your blog from time to time, and I have a lot of respect for you as a pastor. As such, you know that you sometimes have to hold yourself to a higher standard with regard to worldly trends. Not because it affects your salvation, but because it could affect that of other’s salvation.
Ava is cute as a button, but she’s only two. Wait until she’s a bit older, and you’ll see how this world will start to take it’s hold on her. It’s hard enough to raise kids with firm morals, values and beliefs, but even harder if they can’t trust you to tell the truth. You can dress it up in a pretty red suit, wrapping paper and fun, but in the end, it’s still a lie.
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Sure, the smell’s alright for a week or so… but real trees turn brown and ugly and make a mess… no one’s sorry to see them come down. I’ll take fake trees over real ones any day
Ah, moral dilemmas entwined with strongly opinionated friends… aren’t you glad you chose to be a parent? Seriously, how much fun are you having with all this!
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Hi Ryan,
I so enjoy your blog; it is a blessing.
As a PK myself, let me share how my parents handled the Santa dilemma: by insisting that my father was Santa Claus.
My three younger siblings and I found this annoying. “Oh no he’s not!” we would protest. “Santa’s fat and has a white beard. And lives at the North Pole. And has reindeer!”
No really, Daddy is Santa, my parents would say. It was clearly so silly, and I grew up in a laughing, teasing family; Santa became a fun joke for us, and the more ridiculous the tales my father spun about his adventures as Santa Claus, the funnier it was and the more we enjoyed it. There was never any painful revelation–no one ever had to say, Well, Santa isn’t real, and really it’s just your father giving you presents–because we knew that, we’d been TOLD that. Of course, we didn’t believe the truth when it was first told to us, but that’s often the way with truth, isn’t it?
We did much the same thing with my daughters, now 13 and 10. At this age they enjoy teasing my husband about hitching Rudolph up to the sleigh. The idea of Santa is as much fun as it ever was; it’s just that now the girls are sharing in the joke. (Interestingly, though, last Christmas Eve I spent the afternoon sequestered away wrapping their gifts, then asked them if they’d like the gifts under the tree right then, or if they’d prefer the gifts to magically appear on Christmas morning. “Magically appear!” both girls both chorused. Yeah, that’s what I like best too.)
But Jesus never stops being the focus of our holiday. There’s the Advent calendar with its ornaments, each representing a different name for Jesus from the Bible. There’s the wrapped present sitting in the living room, into which we drop little descriptions of kind things we go out of our way to do for others this month as our birthday gift for Jesus. There’s the Angel Tree outreach my husband runs at our church, which lets people purchase gifts for children whose parents are in prison, and who then deliver the gifts on behalf of the imprisoned parent, in Jesus’ name. My kids help collect and organize gifts, purchase a gift from their own savings, and come deliver with us. We take many opportunities to honor Jesus, and so I think Santa doesn’t do them any harm.
Thanks for sharing!
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Wonderful Christmas tree!
About Santa…it’s a tricky one…I’m working in church with kids and right now it’s only about Christmas. I try to focus as much as possible on Jesus when we talk about Christmas. The kids from school that visit us are quite obsessed with Santa (which really isn’t their fault). I’m telling them that there would be no Santa without Jesus. And that there wouldn’t be any Christmas at all if wasn’t for Jesus. I ask the children if they don’t think it’s unfair that we are the one getting the gifts instead of the birthday child? Some think I’m really crazy saying that, but one child said he was going to build a super cannon so he could send gifts to Jesus. (Great idea! LOL!) I told him he didn’t need to do that. Cuz WE are the only gifts Jesus wants and that He loves us so much that other gifts doesn’t matter to Him. But, Jesus sent us Santa as a symbol for His love for us, because he likes to see a happy child. Some kids really liked this, they were amazed by the fact that Jesus loves us so much.
I don’t know if this is the right thing to say. I just want to make Santa less….important. I also know that Santa doesn’t come to all children, but I’m just trying to keep it simple.
We don’t celebrate Saint Nicholas here in Sweden. Maybe we should do that and let him be the symbol for Santa.
I hope this made some kind of sense. English isn’t my first language and it’s also in the middle of the night when I write this.
Thank you for blogging!
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A Real Christmas Tree – I remember that from early childhood but haven’t tried it myself as an adult! wowee – I haven’t known anyone else who paid much attention to St. Nicholas – the story on Wikipedia is different from the one I’ve heard. I had decided to ignore Santa which is possible if you homeschool (like I did) but my sister’s kids pulled mine right in and they were repeating/believing the whole story before I knew what was happening! lol… since then I’ve told them about St Nick and how his faith and consideration for “the least of these” inspired the people around him so that when he died it didn’t stop the tradition. We’ve talked about myths and how they get to be so unrealistic. I allow the fun of the mystery by telling them “you never know who is doing his idea now, or how…”they know I know and won’t tell their secret. It works for us, though I’m gonna borrow the idea of encouraging them to be Santa for someone else. Love that (thanks Memsie #28)!
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A vivid memory of Santa that I have is when I was about 4 years old (definitely before I started school) and my older sister told me she’d woken up in the middle of the night and actually saw Santa delivering our presents next to our cardboard 1970s fireplace. I remember not believing her — not that I didn’t believe in Santa, but I couldn’t believe Santa would actually let someone sneak up on him while he was working!
My grandma had a ceramic statue of Santa kneeling down next to baby Jesus in the manger. As a child, I didn’t question how that could be possible – Santa Claus being there when Jesus was born. It just was!
By the time I was in 2nd or 3rd grade, I was getting wise to the whole thing, but I never questioned God’s existence.
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I also agree. I think all kids know deep down that santa isn’t real. As I remember explaining it to mum once, when I was small… “Santa is just magic. God is REAL”. To this day, that’s how I sum it up. My pastor always admonishes me… we read fairy tales to our kids, don’t freak out about Harry Potter, and have Santa. He always asks us “does it align with the Bible?” Suffice to say, we agree to disagree on some stuff *wink*
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