This morning I’ve been thinking about my past collections. When I was 5 years old I began collecting rocks that I found to be interesting. I carried my rock collection around in an empty Coca-Cola 24-pack box. My prized possession of my rock collection was the fossilized trilobite that my dad brought home one day.
I hauled that box of rocks everywhere I went. One day I forgot my box o’ rocks outside on the porch of our house and I remembered leaving it just as I was laying down for bed. I told my mom that I needed to go grab it to bring it inside and she said it would be just fine out there until morning. It was gone when I woke up. It was crushing to find that someone had stolen my collection that I had worked so hard to build. I’ve still got a little conspiracy theory in the back of my mind that maybe, just maybe…it wasn’t stolen at all. When I get to heaven…I’m asking.
From there I moved on to the next thrill of stickers. After stickers, it was baseball cards. Baseball cards led to basketball cards and comic cards. Comic cards got me obsessed with actual comic books. Comic books led me to graphic novels and an unhealthy R.L. Stine addiction.
Even at a very early age, it was clear that simple allowances or chores couldn’t provide the cash needed to fulfill my extreme desire to “complete” the collection. Whatever it was…I needed all of them. Every one of them must be mine. I wouldn’t even read the comic books, but I needed the next 10 issues. And so I came up with small businesses.
The first attempt was when I was around 6 or 7. I created “snack boxes” that were filled with everyone’s favorite junk foods to put in local mechanics shops. Mechanics love snacks you know. And so do auto-body guys. After a couple of weeks in a few locations I had to close my business due to lack of profits. From there I moved on to “Sour Mix”. This was actually a real money-maker. 1 package of Kool-Aid + 1 cup of sugar = $2.00 from some unsuspecting 3rd graders.
Soon after that I would develop nothing less than a 12-step worthy addiction to POGS and slammers. To support my habit, I began selling pogs and slammers on the street playground for profit. I found a place at the mall that sold a handful of pogs for 3 dollars…as many as you could hold with one hand. I developed a method after much practice that could yield no less than $25 worth of pogs in a single handful. I’d then turn those over and feed the beast what it needed…milkcaps.
From pogs, there were poker chips, and then playing cards, and then coins, and then stamps, and then little annoying toys that made strange noises when you shook them. The rules were simple…find something that you can collect. Get all of them. Lose interest and move on to something else. Later in life, bigger collections began to form, such as music and movies. At one point I had over a thousand CDs and more than 350 DVDs along with ancillary collections of Yo-Yos and cameras. Antique cameras were a big deal…and so were fish. I started collected saltwater fish and corals and blew so much money it hurts to think about it all.
Some of my collection can be found here:
http://www.ryebread.smugmug.com/gallery/15268_UUzQF#505491_VjMZ2
I’d move from hobby to hobby as well: Dirt bikes, Bowling, R/C cars, Photography, etc…
Fads that I could throw myself completely into.
Later in life I’d find myself in some seriously dark places due to my addictive tendencies. Pornography; to “collect” women, theft; to quench my needs, lying; to cover up my obsessions. It’s easy to see how things can quickly spiral out of control.
And then this Jesus shows up. And He fulfills my need to collect and complete and to have it all. And He’s not a hobby, and He’s not a fad. Thank You Lord. Thank You for everything.
Thanks for being so open and honest….how refreshing! I wonder how many other people out there do the same thing and pray that, through one person’s honesty, they get healing.
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The Vineyard, its congregation, and the people around you have all been blessed. Your true, real, and genuine. What was your favorite baseball card?
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I admire your faith and your journey. Mine is different, but that doesn’t mean I don’t respect yours. It is wonderful that you found what you needed in your faith, and that you have the wonderful ability and desire to share it with others.
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This is wonderful because I was formulating my comment halfway throught the blog suggesting that you start collecting therapists, but the great news is that you have found the only therapist you actually need!
Jessus is awesome.
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AMEN!
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I love when Jesus shows up!
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Great post and i thank you for sharing. Jesus just blows me away! and He has been since i was 28 years old.
It took much heartache and failure for Him to get my attention, and i appreciate your openness, cause my story isn’t very pretty either.
Thank you.
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Its amazing to see how one bad decision can turn into 20 bad decisions.
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What I think is amazing is that even through all of those addictions, Jesus still loved you and didn’t give up. He knew one day you would find Him, and that is all that matters.
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It’s amazing the ways we try to fill the “hole” inside! And it’s so cool once we realize the hole is Jesus shaped. Thanks for sharing yourself!
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Wow… nice transition Ryan!
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Thanks for your honesty. It’s refreshing.
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Your collecting habits and money making schemes remind me of my brother.
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Love this…it’s so true.
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Ryan, this post really struck home. Thank you for sharing, and Jesus is truly the healer of obsessions!
And I wanted to let you know… my geologist father gave me trilobite earrings when I was growing up. They are so heavy, I think that they were made by pouring molten lead into a fossil.
-Katy
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Love it. Thank you.
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It’s funny how many of us collect thing after thing to try to fill our God-shaped hole.
Like you i no longer feel compelled to acquire every single piece of stuff available, cause i have found my peace.
But i do still like to look at my colored glass collection.
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your honesty is always so refreshing. i’ve had some addiction issues (still do)……. it’s hard to pull yourself up and out of the temptations of that lifestyle.
but also? i totally was addicted to pogs and slammers. and i was hella good. thanks for that memory- i totally forgot how much i loved them!!
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I wonder if you never lost your rock collection…would it have ended there? Maybe the other collections just weren’t good enough to replace your rocks…? Maybe God was the only thing better than your rocks…. LOL.
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God is SO good!
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wow. awesome post (as always!). I totally relate to alot of what you said. I hope you don’t mind but i made a link back to this post on my site – http://www.chasingconviction.com.
have a great day!
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Thank you, I needed to read your post today …
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