Coaching is leadership.
I would bet that you are a leader in some way or another. You have a tribe. More than likely, there are people who follow you. You are their leader. You are their coach.
As I sit here in my weekly staff meeting, we are having a discussion on GOOD COACHING vs. POOR COACHING. It’s revealing and it’s empowering and it’s convicting. Our Executive Director, Ann, is phenomenal at helping us as a staff to grow and become what God has called us to as leaders.
Here’s what the brainstorming list looks like so far:
GOOD COACHING
* Encouraging
* Asks permission to coach someone
* Helps me set goals and achieve them
* 1 on 1 time
* Hands-on training
* Equips me with resources
* Gives people the benefit of the doubt
* Casts vision
* Delegates authority rather than tasks
* Demonstrates what they are asking
* Asks good questions
* They should know me well
* Know my strengths and weaknesses
* Sets me up for success
* Willing to let me fail
* Doesn’t “correct”, but takes time to help learn from mistakes
* Willing to have a tough conversation
POOR COACHING
* Micro-manages
* Poor equipping (not enough “how”)
* Doubt…no confidence in me
* Controlling
* Lack of moral integrity/authority
* Competitive spirit (you’ll out-grow your coach)
* Silence…no communication
* Non-passionate
* Rebukes harshly rather than restores gently
* Closed-minded, not open to learn
* Non-relational…all business
* Fails to confront failures/mistakes
* Inauthentic / Hypocrite
* Focuses on last deliverable to judge performance
(only as good as your last…)
* Small-minded, focusing on unimportant things
* Lack of inspiration
* Unhappy
So. Where are you? If you’re leading…coaching…how are you doing? If you’re being led…being coached…how is your coach doing?
What are some other good qualities of a coach?
What are some poor qualities?
My observation is that a coach cannot help too many people at one time. The intent is good, but the outcome is not.
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Bad Qualities
Jerk
Nepotistic
Arrogant
Good Qualities
Humble
Passionate
Willing to change
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Thanks for helping me evaluate myself. Now to make some changes
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Wow…I really needed that after a very difficult week. Thanks!
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I like this post…makes me think hard about what kind of leader I am. We all lead, some more than others, but in reading this over, it also seems to me that these are good/bad qualities of general human interaction. Thanks for the thought provocation (and as always, you did it in a very non-judgemental, life affirming manner).
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Can I coach you? ok good! You Idiot. past tense of “to lead” is led, not lead.
How was that for relational and with a willingness to let you fail? I hope it was affirming.
haha. . . love you man.
p.s. I just posted that because I know you hate typos.
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Everyone needs an Ann in their life.
Rob is a weirdy.
You shouldn’t be blogging during a meeting, although I guess you’re not really trying to hide it.
Way to be open and honest.
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I’m with “The Dan”. I like his reply.
This is a tough place to be. Leaders/Coaches need to be able to help people, not hurt them.
I was an example of the bad coaching. I’m learning now and following new coaches/leaders.
Praise God!
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great lists that deserve a copy and paste into my notebook w/daily agenda
thanks!
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May I?
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Nice post… I hope those that need it, read it.
What’s good about it a list, is that we can all change with the right type of coaching. Without love, we are all just clanging gongs. I did a similar, but more cynical post about it.
http://fireandgrace.blogspot.com/2007/01/nickles-and-noses_29.html
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I know that I’m a terrible coach because I don’t think anyone can do anything as well as I can so I micromanage and I give too many instructions. That’s why I work for a small company where I’m my own assistant.
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TRUST is the most important word in coaching to me. I let my team know that i trust them to do their best every day and they trust that i will provide them with the tools necessary to succeed.
I think you can only coach successfully in an atmosphere that is safe.
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Thanks Melanie!
And Ryan, what WERE you doing blogging during the meeting this morning? I looked over and thought you were earnestly taking notes!
In any case, glad it was helpful today…felt like a good meeting!
Remember we also added to the “good coaching” list an attribute around helping me to set and achieve goals.
Great builds from Niki, Corrin, Dan and Nancy!
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I think an important aspect of coaching (as well as parenting) is a willingness to stand along side and teach rather than standing over someone and expecting them to learn. People sometimes learn better if there is a sense of partnership rather than dominance. Also, coaches should never ask a student to do something that they are unwilling to do themselves…
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When I read this I instantly thought “This applies to my parenting” which is my most significant coaching job ever. Thanks for the reminder.
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Good Qualities = patient and understanding
Bad Qualities = controling and closed minded
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Ironically I read this yesterday early afternoon, and thought of things my boss could improve on. Thirty minutes later my job was eliminated thanks to the economic tsunami. So, in all honesty, I did not dwell too much more on this list.
I do like it though.
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I just wanted to tell you this post was really a blessing to me. I am a homeschooling mom, not a coach, but I realized that I too often fall into the poor coaching category. I’m grateful to you for making me think about this, and I am going to be praying that God helps me to change. Already during grammar lessons today with my 8yo daughter, I found myself getting annoyed and then remembered your post. When my daughter got a question right I made a big deal about cheering for her and her face lit up and we both felt so much happier. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!
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Very insightful post
A good coach is: supportive, open to suggestions, and let’s you know exactly what is expected from you and not leave you feeling lost..
A bad coach is: close-minded, unappreciative, and domineering.
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As someone who is hoping for spiritual-coach, I can personally tell you the thing I would most appreciate: approachability.
It’s hard when you don’t want to be a bother, or take up too much time. There are lots of people who could use some help, but never wind up asking for it because they don’t want to alienate others.
If you are willing to help, make sure that you tell them. Make sure they know that you’ll answer questions,or emails, or are there to talk to them. You should be honest with them if they start to ask too much, but a little reassurance can go a long way when a person is already confused and nervous.
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Dear Ryan I wanted to thank your wife for praying for my Grandson Evan, He has not had blood in his stool for 4 days now and goes back to doc tomorrow, PRAISE OUR HEAVENLY FATHER WHO LOOKS OUT FOR US AND HEALS OUR DISEASES. THANKS MRS.RYAN God Bless you for being a vessel.elizabeth F.
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