There is a lot going on right now.
The mantle of leadership in a church environment can be extremely difficult at times. As a community that has invited a “come as you are” atmosphere, people often show up who are broken or prideful or hopeless or annoying or addicted or “perfect” or dying or exploding with life.
At times, the weightiness of these people and this ministry can be heavier than I’d like to admit. However, this fight is more worth it than any efforts I’ve ever laid my hands to.
Here are a few things I’ve been observing / learning / reflecting on over the last couple of weeks:
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Time spent, doing seemingly random or meaningless things with friends and family is crucial.
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The cutting of one’s hair is often the desire for more control playing itself out in a tangible way.
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Being a good man has little to do with being a safe man.
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Everyone you lock eyes with has something serious going on somewhere in their lives.
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Giving people the benefit of the doubt is difficult, but necessary.
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Food is unlike any other conversation starter.
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You need to tend the garden, or else weeds will choke out the produce you’re assuming will just grow.
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God’s chest is big enough and strong enough to pound on.
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Drinking a 5-hour energy shot and then smoking a good cigar can make you feel euphoric.
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Far too many people have their entire identity wrapped up in what they do, rather than who they are.
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A fresh coat of paint covers a multitude of sins.
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If someone seems to be pushing you away, it’s possible that they want you around more often.
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The choice to “go it alone” is arrogant and unsafe.
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Stop and pray for that person right now, don’t wait until later when you might do it.
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Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.
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Coca-Cola from Mexico, made with cane sugar is worth the calories.
70 Comments
I think you definitely have the right idea.
Also, just taking a breath and reminding yourself to let go is important.
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Everyone you lock eyes with has something serious going on somewhere in their lives.
I try to always keep that in mind…it definitely helps me to slow my anger and remember to have compassion for those around me.
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What a beautiful and poignant list.
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WOW….this is profound..and I am happy by your observations. Unfortunatly many don’t get this…I do.
As in the Kingdom of Heavan, ‘the weakest is the strongest, the poor are the rich, the mamed are the whole ones”…ect.
Even most Christians I encounter won’t or don;t tak etime to dig into others….I am so happy there are people like me out there..who dont just want to serve God..but who love His people too…what a novelty..I have lost two sons in death, yet I will Praise Him…if I can..anyone can I say…
You rock reverb man!
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i want to emphasize this one for all the churches out there that are ‘helping’ the weakened to grow in their faith…”You need to tend the garden, or else weeds will choke out the produce you’re assuming will just grow”
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Lovely post.
My husband enthusiastically seconds your comments re: Mexican Coca-Cola — he’ll be delighted to know you feel as he does!
http://stephaniesays.typepad.com
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What a beautiful post. I see in your list both truths about myself and truths that I see evident in others. It’s all about relationships……….
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What a wonderful list! I have found this one to be so true:
Everyone you lock eyes with has something serious going on somewhere in their lives.
This one helps me at work a lot! Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.
Thank you for the great post!
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I only wish 12 was true more often.
But I do try to remember all of those…and the last one makes me laugh because I dated someone a few years back who used to stock up on kosher for Passover Coke, because it’s made with real sugar as well.
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Thank you God! Thank You for putting Ryan in my path. Thank You for using Ryan to reach out to us. Praise Your Holy Name, Jesus.
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Can I just say THANK YOU? Thank you for being a pastor that is not perfect….and who can smoke a cigar and not feel like you’re going to hell…and for showing all people that we are ALL growing, and we ALL make mistakes, and it’s okay. I am so sick of Christians putting on a front, like life is perfect because Jesus has saved us and now we have no more issues. Not only does it make it nearly impossible for the “world” to come to Christ, but even more difficult to understand the unconditional love of God the father. So thank you….okay, I will step down from the soapbox.
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That is a great list.
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Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I appreciate the balance you are able to keep–being real and staying positive.
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Great post. Although I am just really getting to know you through your site, your work in Ministry sounds quite familiar to what my Father has been doing for many (40+) years. He is a Pastor and has been involved in the ‘come as you are’ type Church for many, many years. It takes a toll, but is very satisfying when you make the connection.
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Thanks so much! I am the imperfect, annoying church member. I am so aware of this and yet many times my church insists on reminding me - not to help me grow out of this place but to rebuke as if “knowing” is enough.
Yet, I have been called to pastoral ministry. I don’t know why, I didn’t ask for it and I have tested the call in different ways for 5 years.
This has humbled me in many ways - awareness of the sins that I commit can only make me loving to the perfect and the proud. And the knowledge that the Spirit has done much healing in my life and yet I am still imperfect and easily judged gives me much patience with myself.
Thanks for your vulnerability to share your journey!
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Your honesty is so refreshing. Our priest would no doubt relate. He’s had a funeral for an infant, the loss of our girls, and countless other heartbreaks in the last few weeks. It has got to be wearing on him. While we pray for him, we are often still unaware of the enormous weight of his responsibilities.
Thank you for your wonderful posts!
Lacy
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Good list especially the last one. My son will grab one when we go to Central Market. Coke in a bottle, Coke and smile, “teach the world to sing”. That commercial jingle always invades my mind with one. See you’ve made me smile. The anger thing has been a challenge the last couple of weeks but I know, breathe through it.
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Right on!
& family first…they are so precious!
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Love the honesty and love the list. Several of these were good reminders of things that God has been working on with me lately!
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thanks for this. i feel like I have just been dealt one sucker punch after another, and this is bringing peace to my spirit.
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Awesome! Can you have those printed up some time? Husband and I are thinking about moving to help start a church and that list would be great for a wall.
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Ryan, thanks for all you do at VWS. You, Tim, Jim and the rest of the leadership have really created an atmosphere there — that come as you are and we will love you as you are atmosphere — that is allowing God to do something special there. God has changed my life through all of my friends at VWS and I am so grateful. I love you all!
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Yes!
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Great your list. It’s all about the love.
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We just hosted a teen small group in our home last nite who just returned from an inner city mission trip. They are sooooo on fire for God. We eventually got to talking about how they could carry this thru to their everyday life and see people thru God’s vision. The hardest thing with churched teens…getting them to put their knowledge into everyday life. Great list..thanks for the read!
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These are all totally and completely true. Except that I’m too chicken to try one of those energy shots. And also, I think cigars smell really bad. But other than that, all true. =)
And I LOVE to talk about food with people. Btw…made your zucchini fritters a few weeks ago and they were a big hit.
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the fifth from bottom got my attention.
just really?
thats a good list by the way.
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Yes, Coca Cola from Mexico made with cane sugar is very much worth the calories!! My foodie hubby taught me this one.
Thank you for the good post. These are some truths that are hard learned sometimes but are as valuable as gold.
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Hey, I wonder if you guys are affiliated or have read the book No Perfect Allowed by John Burke! Haha. I was just re-reading that book last night and BAM! “Come as you are atmosphere!”
Often times we like to pray over people and be like “sin be gone! be gone! be gone now!” Its like well, could you just let God move in their lives please? Its God who changes people, and its like maybe the only way a person will learn a certain lesson is the hard way. Our job is to love, and to keep on loving regardless of how many times they fall or we think they’re wrong or whatever. Thats it, just love! The only debt we owe to anyone!
I will only intervene if God is prompting me or if there is an imminent danger to someones life. Other than that, I know God will never stop what He started and I trust and believe in that.
Hahhaa. Okay that was a big tangent!
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***Giving people the benefit of the doubt is difficult, but necessary.
The way I look at it, I will someday need that “benefit of the doubt” back. Hahaha.
***The choice to “go it alone” is arrogant and unsafe.
I just finished talking to my youth pastor (I’m 22, in my part of the world, I’m still under the youth ministry! I count it all joy! ALL JOY!) about this.
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Ryan, Ryan, Ryan…why did you go and write this post, essentially taking all of the air out of my ‘angry balloon’? I even had to go and blog about it…sheesh. http://everydayheartbeats.com/2009/06/17/love-wins-even-when-i-dont-want-it-to/
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Beutiful, Ryan.
You forgot the one you’ve been teaching us. “Love Wins!”
Also, I would like to add Katherine Center’s “Everyone is Beutiful.” I think you would enjoy her book and Karen Walrond’s photographs. See http://www.chookooloonks.com/projects/jenny-is-beautiful/.
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Thank you for the list. My life is so chaotic right now it is choking me. I read your list and it caused me to take a breathe…slow down…and realize that I need to take a step back and look around at the possibilities. Wish you were closer…could use a good sermon to make me think and move in a positive manner.
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Thanks for the great list - the one about cutting your hair is something I’ve found to be incredibly true for myself. As I’ve learned to deal with chronic pain, one of the things I’ve found myself doing when things get bad is becoming a redhead for a few weeks. It’s a little thing? But somehow it helps.
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Ditto on the Coke!! I love Mexican grocery stores- and some restaurants- and finding that Coke in a glass bottle that does not contain any high fructose corn syrup!!
There is a quote I recently rediscovered… “The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.” Bertrand Russell
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Hi, just found this post through Caren. Such true revelations! Thanks for sharing them with the rest of us. And I recently tried soda just like that and it was so yummy!
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I really needed to read this today, and really, really need to remember “Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. ” thank you.
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A congregation is just a group of God’s children, and as you have more children, you will see how different they are - different strengths, different struggles, different weaknesses. And one of the most wonderful things to watch is your children getting along with each other, covering one another’s faults, strengthening each other’s weaknesses. Your family, both physical and spiritual, is blessed to have you.
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By the time I finished reading this list I had tears in my eyes. I want so badly to be a better person and I keep thinking that one day it will just happen… but with each bullet I read I realized that I’m not doing nearly enough. In particular “Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry” speaks to me. I will repeat this to myself over and over again throughout the day so I can be the best wife, co-worker, friend, etc. that I can be.
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VERY sound advice… and AMEN on the coca-cola from Mexico!
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Love that photo… kinda wanna live in that room
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dang
you are learning some GOOD STUFF….THANKS for sharing it here….I know I will be pointing people here….
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Perhaps that “something serious going on” is that they didn’t choose to go it alone but were forced to…
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what a blessing it would be to be a part of your church - that little corner of the church universal that our Gracious Lord has given you to tend….
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The choice to “go it alone” is arrogant and unsafe.
Needed to hear that today…thanks
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These are really beautiful and many of them I needed to hear right now. Thanks
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I was moved by your list…very insightful. I pray, that as a pastor, you have someone who mentors you, is there when you need to talk…who can encourage, enable, and enthuse you for the work the Lord has given you. God bless.
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Thank you! I really needed to hear many of these today. Bless you and thank you for blessing us with your blog!
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I’ve learned that the more you smile, the nicer the people around you become.
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You gave me some things to ponder. Thank you!
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The one about pushing someone away… my husband says that about me all the time, and it’s true. That’s why I married him because he knows the difference. Good list, Ryan. Always on time.
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I think many of us know these things deep down, but reading them in such a way helps to remind us! Thanks for posting it!
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sometimes I think blogs have allowed a special window to the souls of people who we might have otherwise, never gotten to experience.
thank you for the window.
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I am thankful that I stopped by today. You have given me a spiritual lift today and I found myself floundering around in my self imposed self pity. Thank you. I will stop by more often. You are a beautiful soul.
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this site has become my daily dose of spiritual enlightment. i stop and soak it all in. for my work i really only read some fashion blogs, god slipped this one in because he knew i need it. thank you.
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“Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. ” This is going to be my daily Mantra. Thanks!
The Dutch-Oven Bread is fantastic. I’ve used combination of 3 sorts of flour: Rye, Wheat and Spelt. It’s for sure one of our favorite breads. Thanks for sharing!
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Wow! So glad I found you…that is beautiful.
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Thought provoking. Thank you.
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Thanks for your post.
I have often thought that a Pastor has the hardest job of all. I know that a Pastor holds a high office, and often gets a great deal of criticism and attack from those around him (or her). I pray that God give you the grace to continue to serve Him and the people in your congregation. I also pray that those around you keep you in prayer and support you.
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We love, “Food is unlike any other conversation starter”-so true. Maybe some extra time, “locking eyes” with another person, across the table…can help ease our burdens on this journey. Or, give a point to slow down, be, feel, & connect. Also, a fresh coat of paint, or something pretty to “tablescape” with can give you a boost, when everything else is out of control, maybe, at least your table looks nice. Art–it keeps us moving onward! -Chris Ann & Kristin
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“Far too many people have their entire identity wrapped up in what they do, rather than who they are.”
And then people can’t understand why they are unhappy.
One of the biggest lessons I am trying to teach my teenage sons is to love and accept themselves (and others) for who they are. They get so wrapped up, like their Father, in what they are doing and identifying with it, it is hard for them to understand that they hold worth by their moral integrity and their acceptance, and not by their material accomplishments. (This lesson sometimes conflicts with my insistence upon good grades as they see grades as a material accomplishment, but hey parenting isn’t always smooth sailing.)
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I’m not sure how the replies on Twitter work, so wanted to leave you a comment here too. I was praying for you and the family of the baby yesterday. I hope that they felt some sense of comfort in their loss.
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This truly touched me. What a blessing you must be to your family and community.
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Good thoughts and reminders. It occured to me that being a parent with three grown kids has a lot of the challenges that you speak of, but in a smaller scale. The highs are high, the lows are low and trying, and it’s that wonderful middle ground that is so enjoyable. It’s also easy to get complacent or take things for granted if you stay at that middle ground for a while. But thankfully in these times we are constantly reminded of how precious family and friend relationships are, and how shallow and unneeded material possessions are. Take a deep breath and remember that you are human and you can only do so much.
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I love your list. It was insightful, and encouraging…. until I got to the Coke statement. You lost me there… merely because of my life in the last 13 years… sporting the nickname: Sipofpepsi. That is… sip. of. pepsi.
I just can’t relate. But one out of that entire list isn’t bad! We can’t all agree on everything! Right?
~Sippy~
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Hey Ryan!!! I just went next-door and bought a coke,im drinking it in ur honor =) greetings from Monterrey México.. Loved the list by the way, thankyou for sharing pieces of wisdom like these to make our days go better. God bless.
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Thank you.
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I always cut my hair when I’m feeling like I need something to have control of. Like anytime there’s a big change (move house, have baby, start University, finish University - not exactly in that order). Totally get it.
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I am just catching up on my google reader, and boy, did this resonate. Made me cry, which doesn’t take much, but it’s because God used it to soften my heart to the page that I’m on and resisting… TFS.
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Yes, yes, and yes. I’m on my way to Mexico on Sunday w/ a small group from our church and this list is what I needed to read…helps me step back from the details so I don’t miss the blessing. And my family would agree that Coke in Mexico totally rocks!
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