This morning I stepped onto the scale after working out for an hour and I was 188lbs. This is 16lbs less than the 204lbs I saw about 45 days ago. I feel good. My clothes fit again. I have NOT reached my goal.
Originally, I set out to drop a solid 26lbs and get myself down to 178lbs. For whatever reason, this is the number that pops into my head whenever I think of my physical optimum. That is changing though.
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To be sure, I could starve myself…work out like crazy…count calories non-stop…develop a cocaine addiction…or any other variety of speed-loss rather than weight-loss. I remember the time in my life where I was most uncomfortable with myself. At 5’9″ tall and 209lbs, I was on my way to getting married and I was eating an entire bag of Soft Batch cookies every day. A life-insurance representative came out to my work and informed me that I needed to lose some weight or else I was going to be lumped into the high-risk category and lose my tri-line insurance discount, which was the only reason I was getting life-insurance in the first place. This sent me into the complete opposite direction of where I was heading and I started eating 1200 calories a day or less…a bit of a difference from the 5000+ I was consuming at the time. I felt like I was starving, I had no energy whatsoever, and I was totally unhealthy. I lost a lot of weight quickly, but it all came rushing back to me when I quit the process.
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This time around, I wanted to change my health. I’ve been working out 4-5 times a week, eating healthier portions and varieties of foods, as well as changing my overall approach to daily routines. I expected to lose more weight than I have, but I’m glad that I haven’t. Getting myself into a healthy routine of cardio exercises mixed with weight-lifting has given me a more balanced life. I’m not drained of energy…I don’t feel like I’m starving all the time…and I feel stronger than I’ve felt in years. I’ve not lost as much weight as I wanted to originally, but that’s because I’ve gained some muscle mass.
And so it is with Christ.
As we prepare to leave for vacation on Friday, I’m excited to gain some spiritual muscle mass. I have no plans whatsoever when it comes to exercising spiritually while we are away on vacation. No plans. And yet I know that God is going to deliver. I’m expecting it because this is why He devoted so much attention to the Sabbath. There is a rhythm that needs to take place in our lives for us to be healthy.
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God created the heavens and the earth…and then He took a day off. He modeled it for us Himself.
The Sabbath. It means “to cease”. This is where we get the word sabbatical. A time of ceasing.
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It plays directly into the observation of the Eucharist…which I need so badly right now.
In church settings, we “take Holy Communion” or “take part in the Eucharist” or “celebrate the Lord’s Supper” or “consume the Blessed Sacrament”. It might be called something different in varying circles, but it’s all surrounding Jesus’ words to us saying:
“This is my body” as He breaks the bread…
“This is my blood” as He pours the wine…
“Do this in remembrance of Me” He instructs us…
…but what exactly are we remembering?
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We are remembering that He was broken…for us.
We are remembering that His blood was poured out…for us.
By taking part in this Communion with Christ, we are remembering what He did for us as well as recognizing the brokenness and pouring out that’s taken place in our own lives. We too have been wounded and we too have been drained of our life source. We need to be mended and we need refilled.
My Sabbath week will be my Communion. This vacation will be my opportunity to be repaired and my invitation for Christ to fill me back up again. As we find ourselves lighter than we ought to be, it might be due to the fact that the living water we require to thrive has been worked completely out of us.
Jesus – come and fill me back up…I don’t care if it makes me heavier.
I’ve been struggling with my excess weight, but after reading this, I feel full from the love of the Christ and I know I can shed the weight of the world, if I lose my fear of this world and live in the light of Christ. Thank you, Pastor Ryan!
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Oh no, don’t start talking about the weight! It’s good that you are losing it slowly, fast is bad. 1200 calories a day? I’m surprised you had the energy to walk. I cut myself down to that (not on purpose, trying to ball park 2000 and underscored a bit) and it was horrid. I won’t do it again. I have added 1.5 mile walks every single night for 4 months now and you know what? I feel better. Haven’t lost a single pound. I’ve gained 25 in the past year though. I don’t get it. My diet is great, my belly, not so much. Good luck!
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[...] This Is Reverb » Weight Loss and Gain… http://www.thisisreverb.com/2009/09/weight-loss-and-gain.html – view page – cached This morning I stepped onto the scale after working out for an hour and I was 188lbs. This is 16lbs less than the 204lbs I saw about 45 days ago. I feel good. My clothes fit again. I have NOT reached my goal. — From the page [...]
It’s so hard for us people who like to cook and eat and feed others and our families to find that balance, yes? I just ordered a work-out video. While I’m by no means “fat”, I definitely have been more aware than ever that I can’t continue these patterns. And on the other hand…if I have to live life without butter, I’m not sure life is worth living. =) j/k…sort of.
I really hope you have a wonderful vacation. I have a fall break from school coming up, and am considering a trip to the ocean, myself. I hope you get what you want from this vacation and that it’s relaxing and spiritually invigorating. also, running on the beach is a really great workout. =)
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Well stated.
For some interesting thoughts on sabbath…have you ever checked out any writing from Lauren Winner? A Christian with an Orthodox Jewish background, she offers a lot of perspective on the traditions.
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Loved this post. As a person who is on a constant quest to lose weight and just be healthy, I can relate with everything you posted. Congrats on the weight loss and I hope you get the break and filling up you need while on your Sabbath vaca!
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congratulations on the weight loss!
As a recovered anorexic, i know how hard it can be to shed pounds the correct way. After i gave birth to my daughter i felt that i desperately needed to lose the weight, but i forbid myself to “diet” because i knew where my mind would go… it would have spiraled out of control due to all of the emotions and hormones from giving birth. I would have found myself being anorexic again. My daughter is now 10 and i am no where near my before giving birth weight (which was way too low to begin with) but i am happy to have my ups and downs in weight. No matter my size, i am happy for accepting myself for who i am and Not letting the ugliness of starvation creep back into my life. I admit to still having those feelings and issues, but with faith and strength from God i am able to overcome and just be who i am, in my own skin. As long as i am healthy i do not need to be a size 2!
Good luck with the rest of the weight loss!
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There you go again, meeting me where I am…
I’m also struggling with weight – physically and spiritually. I’m drained in both places. *sigh* Whenever you write posts like this, I take a deep heave in my chest.
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That one touched a chord. Thanks.
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in spite of the seriousness of your blog today, I can’t help but giggle when I see your eyebrows and think of Ava’s pictures the first day of school… she is definitely your kid!
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Love Love Love this post!!
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I hope you have a wonderful vacation. You’re listening to God, so I’m sure he’ll renew you.
And, I think we all know now where Ava gets her eyebrow thing
Ya’ll have the same look!
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Okay, thank you for the candid encouragement! The Christian life needs balance. That is what my husband and I are trying to learn:) The sabbath. Wow. Yeah, don’t we all need to go back to that commandment?!!
Thanks again.
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The weight loss thing makes a great parable. Well said, Pastor!
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beautifully written and completely comprehendable to simpletons like myself.
btw, i have made the dutch oven bread twice this week. rosemary and chive. amazing.
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Woohoo! Amen!
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Thanks for your message, it really hits home today.
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Good stuff…thanks as always for your thoughtful honesty. I have been a Christian for years and have taken Communion I don’t know how many times, but have never thought about it in those exact terms before. I like it, and will have to ponder that a little.
Enjoy your rest!
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As always, your “sermon” touches me where I’m struggling, and reminds me I’m not alone. I’ve been only halfway working on my weight for a while. Then my work sent me to Manila for three weeks, where I’ve seen poverty and starvation like never before, where children were begging me for my leftover peanuts (purchased because I didn’t eat lunch and thought I was starving). Now the horrible floods have put me in a quandary, staying in a luxury hotel while so many, so close to me are now homeless. I’m in need of spiritual food, but not wordly food.
Oh, and I’ve lost 10 pounds in 2 weeks, just by walking everywhere and eating much more healthily.
I pray that you will receive all that you need while on your sabbatical. Also love the pics, and am glad you let Ava Beans jump on the bed.
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I often see a direct similarity between a weightloss journey and a spiritual journey. I guess the focus on doing things that are beneficial for you whether eating more healthy or growing in Christ both require less focus on what I want and more on what is best for me. I know I always feel better if my spiritual walk is healthy and the same if my physical health is better. 30 pounds less in a little more than a year.
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Pastor Ryan,
I’m sorry to put this on you. I’m sure you mean this blog to be light. Why do you believe that God exists? I’m struggling right now. My body wants to believe that someone big is looking out for me, but my mind says it’s not logical.
Every time I fall into belief, I feel peace. I love the feeling that I don’t have to be in control. But that only lasts for moments. Then I start to feel like a sucker.
What if it is all imaginary? If enough people believe your imaginary friend is real, does that make him real?
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Wow. This is a great post!
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