A common phrase in Alcoholic’s Anonymous is, “You’ve got to fake it until you make it”.
It basically means to ACT AS IF…
Act as if you’re living a healthy and normal life…
Act as if you’ve got enough confidence…
Act as if you want to work out…
Act as if you’re moving on after that breakup…
Act as if cleaning out the garage is fun…
Act as if you’re not afraid…
Someone did a research project at Wake University where they asked 50 students to ACT AS IF they were extroverts for 15 minutes in a group discussion…even if they didn’t feel like doing so. Research results? The more extroverted, assertive, and energetic the students acted – the happier they ended up being after the experiment was over.
This concept is also used as a treatment for depression. The idea is to go through the regular routines of life in a way where you ACT AS IF you enjoy them, despite the initial feelings that it’s forced. You continue doing these things, acting as if you enjoy them, until the happiness and enjoyment becomes real. Simple.
Thinking back to when I first started following Jesus around, I remember one of the most profound things for me; that I was a new creation. I could be whoever I wanted to be. The old self was gone and the new self had come to life. That new self could be positive and decent and encouraging and extroverted and…happy.
I’ve done this in other areas too.
I don’t want to read the Bible, but I can fake wanting to read the bible. Oddly enough – my faking it turns into something real somewhere along the way and all of the sudden I actually have a desire for it. Call it the power of positive thinking – Call it spiritual discipline – Just don’t call it late for dinner.
If I’m really being honest, I don’t really feel like playing with my kids most of the time. But, I can fake it – and eventually, the same as the Bible-reading, I want to do it more and more. I have no idea if this is a good or bad thing…all I know is it’s a real thing.
Also, I have no idea why I’m thinking about this idea right now.
Sometimes I pretend I’m an extrovert. I’m pretty good at it too.
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I do this with working out. Some days I have to kick my self really hard mentally, and then, once I’m out there and doing it, I love it, and I feel so much better about myself. Like you say, fake it til you make it.
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Walk the walk, even if you don’t feel like it or believe all of it at that moment! Yes, I’ve been there, too. Is it bad to pretend? Is it hypocritical? I don’t think so, especially if it helps you and others along the way.
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Excellent idea to apply to everything! I need to fake that I can sleep right now.
Really though, I like this… 90 days makes a habit.
Take care!
Dee
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Yes! It’s amazing what a little positive thinking can accomplish!
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I really want to believe this right now but I have to admit that it’s hard. Guess it’s why I’m in therapy? I’ve never been good at this, even when I want to be. What can I say, I’m a terrible actress.
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You’ve just described almost every day of my life…..
I’m a faker baby so why don’t you kill me.
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I really needed to hear this today. I go home at the end of a long day and I feel like chaos. Maybe if I act as if things would go smoother. Its so hard not to get caught up in the moment though.
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Posted this to my FB page… good words today Ryan, thanks!
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We call it “jumping over the log” cause not wanting to do something is the log blocking your path and you just gotta make yourself jump over it.
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Thanks for pointing out the study — this is such a powerful practice, but I’d never seen anything academic/scientific about it. Love the photo too!
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You’ve just described “Cognitive Behavioural Therapy” — good stuff. When treating bi-polar, it’s critical to address all issues, NOT just the chemical ones. My mom suffered terribly — unfortunately she never embraced any therapy to address her triggers — she just wanted to take a pill. While that helped, it wasn’t everything.
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I needed to hear this. Thank you for writing this. I am miserable at my job and yet know that God has me for this season. I’ve known for a while that my attitude has to change. I just don’t want to.
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Pretty much my life in a nutshell (or my life as a nut in a shell? I get so confused) – yes – just DO IT isn’t only a Nike commercial – it is life – none of us really know what we are doing – reading the Bible tells me WAY more than all that hoity toity college where I spent thousands of dollars
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Ryan,
I’ve follow your blog for a long time. Love, love, love your honesty, humility, humanness. This is my first reply, ever. Hang in there. You are reaching more of God’s people than you know. May our merciful Lord Jesus richly bless you & your beautiful family. I’m an eastsider so I never get over to your neck of the woods. I’m praying for God’s strength for your & your family during these most difficult times.
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Ryan,
You may have no idea why you are thinking this right now…. but you are an answer to a prayer. Your post made me cry, it was close to home. His touch is far-reaching!
What a blessing you are and I am thankful for you and your honesty.
God bless you!
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I’m thinking there is a message I’m supposed to be getting, based on the recurring theme from every direction.
Depression sucks. But, sometimes I think I really can beat it. Sometimes I think no way. I will say, the days where I make myself keep going (and don’t think I don’t credit the Lord for all of my ability to stay up any given day, much less do things like laundry or cook dinner) I am much more joyful. The unpredictability makes it so hard.
Well. Sorry for TMI, but your words pack a powerful punch.
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It worked.
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Thank you for this. I’m a longtime lurker, and a first-time commenter. This post really struck a chord with me today. I love reading what you write. You talk pretty.
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This is the only way I get through each day…each hour really and sometimes each minute. Most people have no idea how difficult it is for me to function. I don’t want them to know. It takes so much effort to fake it every minute, though. It’s exhausting. I keep hoping I’ll make it and I will cease to be faking it. I’m 40 years old. I haven’t made it yet. I also haven’t given up. I keep faking it and I keep hoping I’ll make it. As long as I have hope and keep faking it, I keep winning and moving forward. I may not ever really make it but by faking it I still win.
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I can’t express adequately what I’m thinking, so I’m going to leave it at … Thanks. I needed to hear that.
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Brutally honest post, you really put yourself out here. Loved it.
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I needed this today, Ryan, in the confidence department. Thank you! I am going to put this on my FB page, also. You are a blessing
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I am so blessed in more ways than I can count. I am sharing my blessings with others this holiday season. I’m staying busy, active in my church and community. I have so much to be thankful for and yet, I hate Thanksgiving, I hate my birthday and I hate Christmas. There are three incredibly difficult days on the horizon and every year I find myself here, wondering how do I get through these two months. I want someone to tell me. You have. Fake it. Thanks Ryan, I needed to read this.
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Very interesting – I really enjoy the thought-provoking posts you often put up. Nice to be able to access your blog again – I’ve not been able to for the last few days.
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This, my dear, is how I make it through life. Even if I don’t have the enthusiasm for things I should I fake it. It’s called taking responsibility for ones actions. If I’m a downer then everyone else around me is affected. I want to be productive and if that means faking it then fine, there are worse things in the world. I can attest though, it does work.
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I’m pretending I like reading Deuteronomy right now.
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I see what you’re saying and I agree but it isn’t always easy. Correction. It isn’t ever easy. Nike or somebody says “Just do it!” plus I can still hear my Dad saying, “Can’t never did anything!” and I read somewhere that the Association of Former Mental Patients advocates “wearing the mask” (that is, not letting your true thoughts and feelings be known). I just know that I need all the help I can get. (Full disclosure: I am not a mental patient, former or otherwise.)
I do know this. It isn’t possible to pull yourself up by your own bootstraps. But it is possible to turn and walk in a new direction. And say, “God helping me, I will.” And “Lord, please love that person through me because right now I certainly can’t do it myself.” And…well, you get the picture.
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thank you! this is the message I needed to hear today!!! have a great weekend with your beautiful family!
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I remember, I think, so long ago, The hellish time I had getting three rambunctious kids ready for church. So hard to smile and be pleasant with folks after we arrived, but I faked it. It seemed to me the day always ended a fair bit more heavenish.
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I read your blog a lot but I don’t comment often. Thank you for being so honest. I am struggling to get back to my faith and a good relationship with God. It is so inspiring to me to read your thoughts.
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“If I’m really being honest, I don’t really feel like playing with my kids most of the time.” Thanks you, thank you, thank you. I am totally here right now. Have two boys and pregnant with our third child wondering what I’m doing if I don’t really want to play with the two I already have. I will work towards faking it more often.
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My high school theatre director called this “leaving your dead puppy at the door”. Essentially that life may suck for you right now, your dog may have just died, but you need to leave it all at the door and go out on that stage and give this audience the same performance as any other! Basically faking it til you make it. You can always pick up the puppy on the way out.
I sometimes need to fake as a worship leader; I may not “feel like it” because I have had a crummy rotten day, but when I push past it and fake it just a bit, I realize how grateful am that God accepts my praise even when it’s not 100% and then it becomes authentic.
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This is awesome. Thank you!
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I appreciate this blog as well as the insight from every person that participates.
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