I was in a motorcycle accident 5 months ago.
Since then, I am in a funk.
I am ready to no longer be in this funk.
It’s not depression. I’ve been depressed before and I’m not feeling that, despite the cold weather, despite the lasting pain in my foot and knee, despite wondering if I am depressed…I’m not.
The feeling is that of apathy.
It’s as if I just can’t seem to muster up the energy I normally have to create.
Don’t feel like cooking. Don’t feel like taking photos. Don’t feel like being creative. Don’t feel like writing. Don’t feel like reading. Don’t feel like sleeping, but don’t feel like staying awake late at night. Don’t feel like doing much of anything really.
I feel like I’m Dain Bramaged. One good feeling is that I don’t feel okay with this, not in the slightest. I’m uncomfortable with this discontent. I don’t like apathy – I don’t like feeling lazy. My nature is to produce, create, figure things out.
This makes me wish I could play guitar with my little girl…
I want to buy all kinds of this useless and useful stuff…
I’ve been watching Top Gear a lot recently – much to Ava’s dismay. She still prefers SpongeBob Squarepants. A few days ago, I lured her into the Living Room with promises of having her favorite TV show on so we could watch together. As soon as the intro music began she yelled, “NOOO!!! I don’t like Top Gear! This is not my favorite show!”
Here, Jeremy Clarkson tests out the Reliant Robin to see how stable this 3-wheeled creation is…
Nyquil – apparently the stuff that really knocked you out was removed from this medicine a while back, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t make you goofy. I am trying to get over the flu right now and after a sleepless night of taking one dose of Nyquil I decided to take a double dose of Nyquil the next night. As a result, I had the most ridiculous recurring dream ever. I woke up every 15-30 minutes because I believe my sub-conscience was frustrated. Over and over and over I dreamed about geometric shapes flying towards each other and when they collided they would turn into a different geometric shape. It was so monotonous that I was actually praying for my boring shape dreams to go away. They didn’t though – as soon as I closed my eyes they were right back.
* Trust is believing that something or someone will catch you if you happen to fall.
* Trust is our ability to release control of the things that we can’t control in the first place.
* Trust makes you more vulnerable, yet more capable of love and joy.
* Trust is something that can possibly deceive you, but without it you’ll be tormented.
* Trust is like a doorway that peace, hope, and faith can walk through.
* Trust is that little voice inside you that’s challenging you to take a risk.
* Trust is laying down our micromanaging mindsets to allow others to be trustworthy.
* Trust is believing you’ll see something better than what you’ve seen before.
Many believe that trust is like a vase – once broken, it can be glued back together, but it will never really be the same. And I believe that…in the natural. But I also believe and trust that there is a supernatural. That the Creator of heaven and earth can and will make all things new.
I believe that once it’s broken it can get better than just fixed – more than just repaired. Trusting allows me to see something or someone become new…again.
For You are my hope; O Lord God, You are my trust from my youth and the source of my confidence. – Psalm 71:5
And He who sits on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new” – Revelation 21:5
