I am back from Jackson Michigan and to the best of my knowledge I am still alive. The wedding was successful and I took lots of photos. Everything went off without a hitch, save for the teal stained glass windows / teal bridesmaid’s dress combination. That’s going to need some serious color correcting.

My passenger-stranger, who we’ll call “passtranger”, wasn’t even remotely horrifying. As I drove to pick him up early Saturday morning I had to laugh at myself for getting so worked up about it – realizing my own tendency to inflate situations to the point of explosion…I reminded myself that it was going to be fine.

I also reminded myself that I’m kind of a jerk.

Some would assume that I didn’t want to drive the passtranger to Michigan because I didn’t know him and perhaps he was dangerous, delusional, or directionally challenged. But if I’m really honest, I hated being put in this situation because I didn’t want to be annoyed. Being annoyed by someone is super annoying. Being annoyed by someone for a 5+ hour car ride gets your goat on a stratospheric level.

As he hopped in the car with his big green pillow my mind was set a little easier seeing that he was planning to sleep. That ease of mind changed when he began talking incessantly for the first half an hour or so. Not bad conversation, just a lot of it. I was fearful that I would be out of gas far before the car ran out. The conversational climate changed when he said, “Okay, let’s get this out of the way…are you an introvert or an extrovert?”

It depends on the situation I thought to myself. When I’m with family and friends, or even in a crowd…I’m easily extroverted. When I’m in a car with some weirdo I’ve never met – introvert. So I answered philosophically.

“I don’t know…why?”

“Well…I only ask because I’m an introvert actually. I can act like an extrovert if I feel like I need to, but this is awkward and I’m just talking to talk. So I’m asking…do you want to talk on the ride there, or we can sit in silence if you want to. I’m good with whatever.”

“How about a little bit of both?” I said.

“Sounds great.”

Eventually I’d learn that the passtranger was in his early twenties, had recently graduated from bible college, gotten married within the past month, and now worked third shift at a job that has nothing to do with church work. He was very interested in how the turbocharger on my car worked and so I taught him about the relationship between engine displacement and boost, intercoolers and blow-off valves, and forced induction. All in all, he turned out to be a good guy.

It could have been a heck of a lot worse. Plus, I discovered that he was the life of the party once we were actually at the wedding. He was that go-to guy when everyone was unsure what to do. It was a simple wedding, and there were a few gaps with certain things like who would play this song, or who would announce the bridal party coming in to the reception. Turns out that the passtranger was more than capable of doing those things and more.

So, it was good that I got him there or else everything else might have fallen apart.

Good times.

It’s Saturday.

It’s 5am.

It’s 18 degrees outside.

I’m getting ready to walk out the door to drive to Michigan to photograph a wedding for someone I don’t know very well. I’ll drive for about 5 and a half hours – shoot photos for about 4-5 hours – then I’ll drive back home. This day was already something I’ve been dreading. But, I decided to make the most of it. I grabbed a couple of audio books and I was looking forward to the time alone in the car.

Until last night.

That’s when I got the random call that the bride’s cousin’s uncle’s niece’s boyfriend really needed a ride to Michigan and they wanted to know if this stranger could ride with me. I panicked internally. This makes me extremely uncomfortable for some reason, but I didn’t have any good excuse to say no. I’m driving to the same place…I’ve got plenty of room…there is really no good reason why I can’t give this dude I’ve never met a ride to Michigan.

Other than he’s some dude I’ve never met.

I avoid situations like this in my life. I’ve dodged many an awkward scenario. But this bullet’s got my name on it and somehow I said that devastating word…”Okay.”.

The old me would act like I forgot to pick this guy up and let him find another way to the wedding. But, the me that woke up this morning is taking a probable serial killer / close talker / loud chewer / carnie to Michigan. He’s got a story, and I’m going to find out what it is.

Even if it kills me.

We went through a strange exercise in my men’s small group a few days ago. The idea was simple – identify the most important people in your life and then write out something you would like them to say at your funeral. It’s a concept removed from the book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

Moving past feelings of narcissism, we tried to put words into the mouths of our closest. These words were not necessarily true for today, but rather something to hope for and better yet, something to try for. Each year I post something about creating a goal list for the new year. This kind of list is a “do” list. The challenge to write out what important people in your life would say at your funeral is more of a “be” goal. Who do I want to be? What do I want to be known for?

Me and the guys spent about an hour thinking about the right people to put on our list and then writing mini eulogies. As we read them aloud to each other, things got a lot more emotional than we expected. Partly because you’re imagining yourself being gone, and partly because you know that you’re so far from the goal of what you’re writing.

Here’s my first three:

My bride – Allison

My husband wasn’t afraid of anything. He gave himself completely to others, but still knew how to make me feel special as if I was the most significant person to him. Ryan pursued me and chased after me until the day he died. He was always able to make me feel beautiful. I trusted him completely. I’m certain that he would have worked two, or three, or four jobs to make sure that our family survived. We laughed together every single day. He was and will always be my best friend.

My daughter – Ava Beans

My dad showed me what it meant for a man to cherish a woman. He always told me that he was trying to love my mom the way that Jesus loved the church. I’ll always remember my dad stopping in the middle of whatever he was doing to listen to me or play with me. When it came time for me to date someone, I was so sure of who I was and what I was worth that I never sacrificed myself for something less. Dad made it so that I was never afraid to come and talk to him – even if I had messed up bad. He made me feel like a princess.

My son – Finn

Dad showed me what a real man is like. He was never afraid to say he loved me and he always told me how proud of me he was. He taught me how to ride a bike, how to build a fire, how to shoot BBs at stuff I wasn’t supposed to, and all kinds of other cool stuff. Most importantly, he taught me how to really love a woman and what it meant to be a man of character. He showed me that you can be a follower of Jesus without being a pansy. My dad was a lion, not a lamb. I always felt safe with him, even when we were living dangerously.

Those were some pretty nice imaginary things my family said about me at my imaginary funeral. May those words and many more become all the way true before the time is here.