So I read this book and took it’s corresponding test a while back. This wasn’t some cheesy personality test. It figures out your top 5 strengths in life and I have to admit that it “read my mail”. Long story short, I discovered that my number one personal strength is EMPATHY. Out of many different gifts, strengths, talents…whatever you want to call them – mine was empathy?
Why couldn’t I get STRATEGY, or FUTURISTIC, or LEADERSHIP, or any of the other thirty-something strengths they describe? At least that’s what I thought at first – when I thought that empathy meant sympathy. Come to find out that empathy actually means being able to understand and even feel what other people are going through. It means that you know what it feels like to walk around in someone else’s shoes – not that you necessarily care (as in sympathy) – but that you can definitely feel where they’re coming from.
Once I learned this about myself it wasn’t a surprise – I just figured everyone is like that. You see, that’s what we do…we always struggle to understand why others don’t think the exact same way that we do. It’s difficult for us humans to judge situations from a perspective thats not our own. Leaders often assume everyone else can lead something. Strategists assume others can formulate strategies when approaching problems. With this in mind, empathy has sucked in a lot of ways. I confess that I am continually asking the questions, “Why don’t they get that?” or “Don’t they understand that…?” It’s one of my many issues.
This is why I was a bit frustrated last time I posted about the Huggies® Every Little Bottom program that I agreed to be a part of. The nasty comments (some of which I deleted) and hate e-mails were a little unnerving. I guess my feelings get hurt easier than I thought. As a pastor and a blogger, it’s somewhat of an expectation to be diplomatic and find a way to make everyone happy in many situations. This is not one of my gifts. Probably never will be.
Thankfully, many of you also saw that this program from Huggies is doing good in the world. That’s what I want to focus on. There were tons of valid points and questions surrounding the option to cloth diaper rather than spending more on wasteful disposable diapers. These points were so valid in fact that it’s definitely something we may look into personally as our 3rd baby is due in September. (We’ll see how Allison feels about it – she’s in charge of the laundry!) But I cannot look past the obvious that cloth diapering is simply not for everyone.
To the point of my post title – why do you suppose rent-to-own stores exist? To many people, these store are an absolute rip-off. You pay on average 4-10x what the actual value of an item is by the time you own it. Don’t these people who rent-to-own understand that it would be a much better deal to buy that $900 washer and drying combo outright than paying on it month-to-month at a ridiculous price inflation?
Surely they do understand this. But these stores remain because there is a significant percentage of the population who can scrape together $47 per month for 5 years even though they have no easy way of gathering $900 to get the better deal. Are these people stupid? Are they irresponsible? Try…try…try to put yourself in their shoes before answering those questions.
And so it is with diapers.
The average cost of one cloth diaper is about what you would pay for a medium to large box of disposable diapers. You cannot buy JUST ONE CLOTH DIAPER and expect to get anywhere. How many do you start with? 4…6…8? The savings over the long haul, especially with multiple children, is exciting…for those who can afford such a luxury as this bargain. It’s not exciting for those who can’t afford the multiple cloth diapers to get started with…it’s not exciting for those who can’t afford the mega-size box of disposables…it’s especially not exciting for those who can’t even afford to buy the medium-sized box of disposables.
The Huggies Every Little Bottom Program is geared towards those parents who are struggling to purchase even the smallest number of disposable diapers available. These are the people who need our help. Would it be cool if Huggies came up with ideas on how to provide alternatives to the less expensive/yet paradoxically more expensive disposables? Absolutely! Who knows what they’re working on for the future.
Until then…
How can we help with the need right now?
* We can donate diapers online.
* We can dress em’ cute for a cause.
* We can attend local diaper drives.
But the main thing I’d like you to do is just slow down, and try to imagine what it’s like to be in one of these parent’s shoes. If you do that – I trust that you’ll do something…think of something…pray for something. I’d love to hear your thoughts on all this, but I for one truly appreciate the effort that Huggies is putting forward in this initiative.
Atlanta Food Bank seems to appreciate what they’re doing too:
Disclosure: I have partnered with the Huggies® brand to help promote Huggies® Every Little Bottom program. I have been compensated for my time commitment to the program, which includes writing about my family’s own experiences from my sons/daughter’s point of view, and/or their experiences with diapers. However, my opinions are entirely my own and I have not been paid to publish positive comments.
Amen. Well said.
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I’m sorry I didn’t respond to your earlier post. This is well said. I’ve had experience with inner city poor that often didn’t have access to running water, much less the ability to wash a load of laundry every day. Their baby still needed to be diapered. Giving them access to disposable diapers seemed to be the logical choice at the time. Thanks for what you are doing.
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How’d you get so smart?
that’s the way to verbalize exactly what so many were thinking in response to the negative nancys … I would say Empathy is an amazing strength to have, maybe eventhe best strength for someone who has devoted their life to the work of the Lord. Thank you.
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Whoa. Did not realize that a firestorm had erupted at the other post. The internet is an ugly place–especially the Mom blog corner of the internet. Have you ever browsed around The Stir at CafeMom? I wouldn’t talk to my own mama like that!
In any case, good sir, keep fighting the good fight and thanks for taking up this (probably often overlooked) worthy cause. There are those of us out there who are willing to help instead of judge.
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That people came at you like they did sickens me. I agree with you about rental stores, parenting and the bottom line (financially and that every baby’s should be covered). Ugh, Ryan. Just know some of us have strong beliefs, but we dont tear down others who dont believe (or want) the same things.
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Not to mention that if you are a single mother with a baby in daycare, you might not have the option of using cloth but you still need to supply diapers for your kid. If you are a single mom who is working all day, how are you going to find time to haul dirty cloth diapers to the laundromat? And what about the expense of washing cloth diapers at the laundromat? One of the most important lessons I have learned as a parent is not judge other parents. Whether it’s cloth or disposable, breast or bottle or just a screaming kid at the grocery store whose parent “appears” to be doing nothing, children have a way of humbling you. All kids, families and situations are different. Some days I probably look like a great mom to others and some days I’m sure I don’t. I’m just trying to do the best that I can do on that day. The last thing that parents need, especially moms because we tend to internalize guilt, is the weighty judgement of other parents.
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Sorry they were ugly, Follow your conscience.
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Hi, Ryan. I’m a longtime reader, but I don’t comment much.
I was very interested in the comments you received on your first Huggies post. While I didn’t agree with the nasty tone of some of the anti-disposable comments you got, I did agree with the general sentiment. I’m glad, reading this post, that you’ve responded to the objections that were raised on your other post.
I totally understand that there are many reasons why someone might not be able to cloth diaper (start-up costs, availability of washing facilities, childcare center rules, etc.). However, I just wanted to share this link as some food for thought:
http://dirtydiaperlaundry.com/flats-and-handwashing-challenge-over-and-done/
Dirty Diaper Laundry is a cloth diaper blog (yes, those exist, lol) that hosted a “flats and handwashing challenge” a few months ago. Flats are the simplest, cheapest form of cloth diapers (you can even make your own out of old t-shirts or sheets). The mom who runs this blog wanted to explore how someone with the absolute minimum amount of resources could manage to cloth diaper. The post I linked above was written at the end of the challenge, when the blogger shared her thoughts about what she learned and how her expectations about cloth diapering had changed.
Anyway, I hope you have a moment to read it. It’s great that Huggies is providing disposables to families in need, but I can’t read about their program without thinking of “Teach a man to fish …”
If you or any of your readers are interested in how to help families access free and low-cost cloth diapers, the Giving Diapers, Giving Hope program is one of many terrific resources that is worth checking out:
http://www.facebook.com/GivingDiapersGivingHopeFoundation
I don’t mean to undermine your work with Huggies—I just wanted to share some thoughts that have been rolling around in my head since your initial post.
Take care.
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Diane says:
June 29th, 2011 at 9:39 pm
@Meg,
It kind of blows me away that you would actually think it appropriate to *still* post your “objections” on this kind of post. The lack of tact you’ve demonstrated (and your intent really doesn’t matter) is a little shocking. But I guess for some, the ends justify the means.
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Meg says:
June 30th, 2011 at 1:22 pm
@Diane,
Good grief, Diane. It’s unfortunate that you’re so shocked and blown away by a blog comment that shares resources for needy families to get free things. Your reaction is a bit over-the-top, don’t you think?
Ryan wrote, “The average cost of one cloth diaper is about what you would pay for a medium to large box of disposable diapers. [...] …for those who can afford such a luxury as this bargain.”
I merely posted some information explaining that cloth diapers don’t have to be expensive (and, in fact, may cost nothing at all). I’m not suggesting that Ryan has made a mistake by partnering with Huggies, as some commenters did on the previous post. Ryan has stated (and he can correct me if I’m wrong) that his intent in partnering with Huggies is to help get diapers to families who need them. I completely support that mission, and I’ve seen the necessity of programs like this. Many families want or need disposables; some families want or need cloth. The two links I shared provide help for people who want to use cloth diapers at little or no cost.
If you’ve got specific issues with anything I’ve written, I’d be glad to have an actual discussion with you (on or off this blog). If you’re only interested in chastising me for my “lack of tact,” then I suppose we can part ways right here.
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Diane says:
July 4th, 2011 at 12:08 pm
@Meg,
No, I just wanted to address your rather deplorable lack of tact. So I’m all set.
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KR says:
October 18th, 2011 at 3:10 am
@Meg, Thank you meg for sharing another great way to help families in need. Both of these programs are a blessing to the precious babies that are being loved through diaper donations. <3
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Really well said, Ryan. Thanks for putting this out there. I will share it with my readers as well.
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Ryan,
I’m sorry that people have been attacking you over this issue. I just don’t understand what they think that would accomplish.
I used cloth diapers for both my girls (now in their 20′s). I used ones like this http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=11519783. They did not cost a lot, used the same ones for both girls. So, using cloth can be an economical way to diaper your baby – maybe not as convenient, but doable.
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Whoa, you got haterade from the other post?! I didn’t even read the comments on that one so I had no idea.
Fran summed up my initial thoughts. If you’re working three jobs and constantly have to leave your kid with someone else, and/or you have little access to washing facilities (or, shoot, even a stable roof overhead)…cloth diapering is low on the list of things to splurge on.
However, I like the link and points Meg brought up. I haven’t looked at the link yet, but it’s sounds intriguing. I also commend you, Meg, for the *way* you said what you said…after the vitrol tossed around before I love to read civil discourse.
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You have an amazing gift of expression as well. Very well written and well said!
Although…………don’t have kids if you can’t pay for them also comes to my mind. I know there are exceptions. Honestly, I do. Let’s just say that there are lots of people who do rent to own, don’t buy diapers, they eat out, waste money, and spend MINE.
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I’ve seen a wave of hatred filled comments in the last few days, and I don’t know what people that think like this are doing visiting your blog.
People are judging without thinking twice. Don’t worry though, there are enough of us who are capable of understanding the meaning of the campains.
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I can’t believe that a blog post begun with an adorable photo of your son could have the kind of nasty response it did, and I’m ashamed of those that got ugly with you. In a perfect world yes, cloth diapers would be ideal but for various reasons not everyone can use cloth diapers.
With my first daughter I bought 3 dozen expensive cloth diapers (even had a Peter Rabbit diaper bag hung on the wall). I did not use plastic pants on her so I would know the moment she needed to be changed and I changed her every time I got up in the night to nurse her. At three weeks she developed a staph infection that required 2 prescriptions and she had to be naked, in February and March, on absorbent blankets 24 hours a day. When we could finally put diapers on her again we were told by the doctor that under no circumstances were we to use cloth diapers unless we wanted a recurrence of the infection. No matter how quickly she was changed, no matter the temperature of the water used to wash the diapers or the germ killing additives I could use (I was warned even more strongly against a diaper service) I could not get the diapers as sterile as the disposables AND disposables have a wicking material to pull the moisture away from the skin in case they can’t be changed immediately upon the child wetting. Thankfully we had no issues with the disposables and when our second daughter was born I took no chances and used disposables on her too. I had no choice. How could I feel guilty? My child’s health was at stake.
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So sorry that you were attacked by the cloth diapering community. They can be a scary bunch, and yes I can talk about them because I am a cloth diaper user myself. Trust me, there are some hardcore cloth fanatics out there and they think their way is the only way. I admit that cloth diapering is expensive at the start, but most people (with the exception of those on that I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant show) know ahead of time – 8 whole months ahead of time – that they are going to be having a baby and that baby is going to need diapers. You can absolutely buy cloth diapers for a child for less than $100 total (not including washing costs) and if they are bought a few at the time during the whole length of the pregnancy, that’s what? $12.50 a month? Totally doable. I understand that not everyone is able to wash diapers, so for those people, yes, disposables are a great option to have. But for those that can wash? Cloth is an even better option.
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Why can’t Huggies and other disposable diaper companies just make diapers cheaper in the first place, so that most parents don’t have to worry about the cost so much?
Also, as far as disposable diapers vs cloth diapers are….IMO, one can do the cloth diaper monthly delivery which is about the same cost as a month of disposables (maybe a few dollars more, but not much)…Or, one can start with a lot of cloth diapers and forego the changing table which most people do not use, but most people get while they’re expecting, or forego the basinette.. or many other things that are considered luxuries for either the parent or baby. And then with that money, get the cloth diapers.
I suggest this NOT because I have money to throw around or because I actually did it. I suggest it because MOST people do the disposable diapers out of convenience (including myself)….not because they cannot afford the cloth diapers. As I already stated, you can do the monthly cloth diaper cleaning plan for about the same cost of monthly disposable diapers. But really, who wants to clean up the poop out of a diaper, and then store them somewhere for a month, when they can simply toss each one in the trash????
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Diane says:
June 29th, 2011 at 9:41 pm
@Karen,
And people like you are still posting your commentary. On this post. Stunning.
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DB says:
July 1st, 2011 at 12:22 am
@Diane, Sorry but what is wrong with @Karen’s comment? Didn’t get laid last night Diane?
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Diane says:
July 4th, 2011 at 12:10 pm
@DB,
What a vile comment. Always nice to see the Christians checking in showing their true colors. Ugh.
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TheDan says:
July 1st, 2011 at 7:26 pm
@Karen, I think your missing the point here. Your still going back to how much it cost per month. Per month isn’t an option and neither is a few dollars more. Ryan’s original post talked about how some parents were reusing disposable diapers indicating that not only could they not afford a few dollars more they couldn’t afford a few dollars less.
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I would say that those folks most definitely do not have empathy as one of their gifts. Shrug your shoulders and leave THEM up to God. Keep on helping those that God leads you to.
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Ryan- first I want to address your empathy. You’re an empath. google it. I was told by my shrink that I am one too. It is not easy. Second, the diaper debate. I do not know the cost of cloth diapers. I have a granddaughter that is 3, now potty trained, but I bought diapers for her and paper diapers are expensive, no matter what brand you get. I couldn’t believe the cost. I used cloth 36 years ago when my oldest was born. I hated it. I hated the smell and I hated hanging them on the clothes line (we had no dryer). I used pampers (or whatever brand) for the next two. It really doesn’t matter which you use. the fact is that some people can’t afford them. and if you’re able to help out the world, then you should. I’d rather help a single mother, probably a teenager, out with diapers and formula or whatever she needed, rather than her have an abortion. I feel lucky to have a job and am happy to share any extra money I have with organizations that help out families. So I will donate some money for diapers. I am happy to do so and I wish you good luck. I frequently give to a place called Choices Resource Center in Oak Ridge TN and the local homeless shelter. Thank you Ryan, for being you. I love you.
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Ryan, I’ve been a lurker forever but I had to come out and say something. I work with teen moms in Chicago and I want to dare any one of those haters to raise their babies on WIC and try to finish high school and make using cloth diapers work. Sometimes the issue isn’t the diapers (or the clothes, or getting into college the list goes on) but there are bigger issues at play that most people can’t see past. Thanks for being so eloquent and for sharing this powerful important story.
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Ryan, I can’t imagine how you felt when you began geting the nasty comments – I know that I would have taken them very personally, cried, talked to my family about it, then become angry – but I’m not sure I could have addressed the hate email with such poise and dignity. You’re doing a good thing and you’re doing it with integrity. Rock on. Keep doing your thing.
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AMEN! Well-said, Fran.
And I think most people would be hard-pressed to find a Mom (or Dad) who wasn’t doing the very, very best that they thought they could do with the resources they have.
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Keep at it, Ryan… not all your readers think like those who would make nasty comments. Just the opposite. I think what you’re doing is wonderful, both with the Huggies program and as a husband, father, and pastor. And I appreciate you sharing your life and insights with us.
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I normally assume that you are wrong about everything but I think I agree with you on this one ha ha.
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And this is why I like you. Cause you get it. “It” being that not everyone is in the same position in life, not everyone can or wants to cloth diaper, not everyone can afford to spend a few hundred dollars on cloth diapering all at once, but can afford to spend $36.99 on 168 Size 5 diapers from Costco. I am sorry that you got hate mail, I don’t understand why some people feel the need to judge someone over a post about diapers and helping others. Seriously, they need to get a job or volunteer more, because they obviously have some extra time on their hands that could be put to better use.
Yay for you, using your blog to help spread the word. And yay for Huggies helping.
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I think you’re awesome and this program is awesome.
Others need to get over themselves as my mother would have said.
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This is a case of many letting the perfect be the enemy of the good. I’m also convinced that it’s better, in general, to cloth diaper. However, there are many cases in which this is impossible or so difficult that it’s nearly impossible. I’m not sure why any Christian would fail to love a struggling mother or family simply because they were not able to do the “perfect” thing. Who cares if the single mother made a bad decision that led to her being a struggling single mom? Who hasn’t made a mistake? Hers just happened to have bigger consequences. Let’s do what St. John told us and love her anyway. She deserves it as much as any of us.
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Ryan, I am so sorry that your good-willed post and positive efforts turned into something so ugly. And I am so grateful to have the resources available to care for my children. Thank you for reminding me that there are people out there who struggle with these basic needs and that I should be thankful for what I have. And that I should seek out ways to help those who don’t have as much. I’m on board! Just know that despite the anger that others displayed can’t hold a candle to those of us who are inspired by your words.
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There is so much I admire about you…and this just adds to it! Not many men can say that they’ve been given the gift of empathy and be PROUD to own that. You’re a great pastor and a great person and a great family member…but you’re also a great follower of Christ. It doesn’t matter if they’re cloth or disposable, what matters is that a need is trying to be met for those IN need. That’s awesome. And that’s Jesus’ hands and feet at work. Amen to that!
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Instead of family member I meant to say family man. See? Human error. It’s all over the place-as is the judging that took place.
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Thanks for this post. I use cloth diapers with my son and am grateful that I got some as gifts before he was born. They’re expensive on the front end. And require special detergent, which doesn’t always cost more but is a hassle to find sometimes. So, I’m glad Huggies is working to help families who need diapers. Babies need A LOT of diapers and no one wants a baby to have to sit in a dirty or wet diaper all day because their parents are trying to conserve the few they have. Having kids is hard, thanks for showing us how to help make it a little easier for some.
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I have to comment about baby showers given by my church 34 years ago when one of my grandchildren and a bunch of others were born. Everyone who wanted to took one package or more of diapers rather than any other gift and the parents received many many diapers to last quite a long time. (I wished for that as my kids only had cloth diapers which I had to wash daily.) That was the only kind in the 50′s. Just a suggestion for others.
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Completely agree, well said!! I haven’t had a chance to read the other post regarding. But I do know how judgmental moms in general can be. I read a report that stated they still can’t prove cloth diapers are any better than disposable . . . you use more laundry detergent, which equals plastics and water to wash them, etc. The study was in regards to cost, not so much environment, but I’m sure it plays out there as well. Good for you for standing for this . . . a somewhat forgotten need in poor communities! Diplomacy isn’t always possible, unfortunately. =0)
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Wow. Ryan, I’ve been a reader/lurker for a long time, but this is my first time commenting. I’m horrified by the ignorance and hatred being displayed by people commenting on your posts. I just wanted to show my support for you, the great work you are doing with Huggies, and your all-around-awesomeness.
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Wow! I didn’t read any of the comments on your last blog about the Huggies program so I had no idea. All I can say is “wow”! I’m shocked that anyone would come at you like that! You know we all have different struggles and it really frustrates me that people don’t have more understanding and compassion. We are a family of four that struggles to make ends meet. I’m a homeschooling mom because that is what God has called me to do. My husband supports me in it 100%. But we struggle to make ends meet. Thankfully God provides everything we need. You know the Lord’s prayer say “give us Lord our DAILY bread”. It doesn’t say our weekly bread or our monthly bread. I love the idea of buying in bulk but most weeks I have to buy what will get us by until the next paycheck comes in. There was a time that bulk was always the choice for us but my husband’s company has been struggling for the past 2.5 years and we’ve lost our home and many of our worldly possessions but we have each other and God has never let us down. With our second child, I wanted to cloth diaper so bad but I just could not save up enough money to invest in the diapers. All I could ever get together was the $14.95 to buy the pack to get us through the week. Sorry, I know this is disjointed but I’m just putting all of my thoughts out there after a very long and tiring day! I totally support you in this…unfortunately I can’t afford to support the cause financially right now. Just trying to keep up with the causes we already support but thank you for supporting this cause. It’s wonderful that you are doing that!
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There are Rent-to-Own stores? Who knew? And I’ve only been on the planet for 72 years!
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We have an almost 10 yr old daughter. We have wanted to have a second for the longest time but just can’t afford another child. We are both college grads, I have a great career, the hubby has yet to figure out what he wants to be when he grows up but he still has a career of sorts. We make a living and have a mortgage. We’re also 38 and know that it’s now or never. Babies past 40 is even rougher that babies at 38 so we (and I use that term loosely since the hubby is more freaked than me) decided to make that leap of faith, get pregnant, and wing it. Yeah, we’re better off than many other parents but still, newborns are expensive and I really don’t know how exactly it’ll end. Other than in a beautiful child.
We have decided though (again I use we loosely for the same reasons as above) that we’re doing cloth diapers. It requires more preplanning (ie stash creating) but I’m loving the whole experience. I have been stalking forums and Craigs List for used diapers then supplementing with a few new ones. 4th of July sales are spectacular now so I think after this weekend we’ll be set. Which is good since our new little girl is due in 3 weeks and I’m pretty sure she’ll show up a bit early.
Congrats on the new one in your home, I’m sure the cd experience will be just as fun as you make it. I know there are many families out there struggling to make due but I believe as long as your ultimate goal is to raise a loved, well rounded intelligent kids then you’re golden. It’ll all work out as long as we all try. It takes a village!
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Wow…it’s tough no matter who you are when people are judging you and the choices we make in how we live our lives. I try not to judge because no one knows what it is like to be in another person’s shoes {or diapers in this case ;}
Also we were living in Italy at the time and having a “bidet” made rinsing and flushing of the waste a real wiz…if there can be such a state when it comes to cleaning dirty diapers. So perhaps these are two things you might want to consider when viewing cloth diapersa as an option 1.) disposable diaper liners and 2.) installing a bidet in you bathroom…hilarious…I know! Hope this helps and have a wonderful long weekend. Fondly, Roberta
I used cloth diapers for both of my sons…the oldest is now 32 and back then the only disposable available were Pampers. My son was allergic to them and being a single mom…it really wasn’t an option anyways. I never minded the washing…even when I had to carry the diaper pail down to the laundry room after rinsing them out in the tub first. I was a big fan of the “disposable diaper liners” which were like thick paper towels that you placed inside the cloth diapers for easy removal of waste. My next son came 8 years later and I CHOOSE to use cloth diapers again because I’m a very cheap individual
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I’m right there with ya. We went through the debate of doing cloth diapers instead of disposables to save the world one diaper at a time, but we didn’t/don’t have the money to pay up front for those items. Let’s also be reminded that it’s not just the diaper; it’s the diaper, a liner, a cover, special laundry detergent (from what I hear),and access to a toilet/running water. Thanks for posting this!
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Well said. It is always good to be able to appreciate both sides of an argument.
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I like that phrase from one of your commenters: “the perfect being the enemy of the good”.
People think they know the answers to poverty when they haven’t lived it themselves, I think. Jesus didn’t try to solve it and it seems he’d know everything… he told us to help. Maybe someone at Huggies cares and is doing something, just something, with what they have. Bravo!
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proud to have you as my pastor and my brother
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Oh Dear Lord, Ryan….Welcome to the world of women. I can say this because I am a woman, but when you start dealing with women, be prepared for a lot of blah, blah, blah…..
Your project connection with Huggies is a wonderful endeavor. I am a Catholic school teacher who runs a stewardship group of third, fourth, and fifth graders. I think this is a project that we could support once school begins again in the fall. I’ll keep you posted.
Thanks again!
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TheDan says:
July 5th, 2011 at 9:47 pm
@Debbie, “when you start dealing with women, be prepared for a lot of blah, blah, blah…..” oh my gosh that is the funniest thing I’ve read all day.
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Personally, I think it’s a good cause. Bravo for getting the word out there and helping to remind people that diapers are a good food bank donation too.
I’m chuckling over your initial reaction to Empathy!
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You got nasty comments on a post about trying to do something good for other people?
For reals?
I have to admit that i don’t read other people’s comments on posts; I don’t really see blogging as a multiple person conversation. That’s just the way i roll.
If i’d realized you were being attacked, i’d have sent you some good vibes with a comment.
Sorry that there people out there who really can’t see the forest for the trees, who really can’t imagine a life so hard that a simple box of diapers would truly make a difference, who really think putting more negativity into the world is a good choice and i’m even more sorry that those people caused you pain.
Thank God for people like you, however, who try to fight the good fight, try to make a difference and try to use their gift of empathy.
thanks Ryan.
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Hey Ryan–I have a feeling that if I took the test in that book I’d score really highly in empathy too…and because of that I’m also shocked when people spout off their opinions virulently.
Why are people SO convinced that their way is the right and only way to see something?
It’s such a narrow-minded worldview, and it only sows discord and disharmony.
And seriously people–hate mail–over friggin’ diapers? Really? Diapers used in a program to help those who so desperately need the help? Where are your hearts?
Sometimes I wonder if God is in heaven, just shaking his head in disbelief at our petty foolishness.
OK, rant over. Keep fighting the good fight Ryan.
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Wow, I have a computer breakdown and see what I miss? I’m with you Ryan, and every time I see the jean Huggies at Kroger I smile and think of you. And I remember hanging up cloth diapers on a outside clothesline, being oldest and tallest wasn’t the most fun at times. BTW I really dislike doing laundry.
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I wish I could say I’m surprised but I’m not. I had no idea how competitive parenting was and how many people there were with all the answers until I had my first child. I had to drop out of my first “mothers” group after being interrogated over why I had stopped breastfeeding my child. Honestly, you would have thought I was feeding her ant poison based on the response.
All I can say is keep loving people and don’t worry too much about those in ivory towers.
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Hi Ryan!
I’m new here I enjoy reading all your post and I am
really blessed in all your inspiring words.. to those
that comment a nasty word just look at it on the positive side. You will see why they are exist in this planet…
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It is important to note that most daycares require an entire supply of disposables each and every day. Diapers are really a route to empowering families, especially women.
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I just wanted to share my sister’s experience. She tried a diaper service with her first child and didn’t care for it because you can’t rinse the diapers – I guess because of the chemicals they use to clean them you are not allowed to rinse. Which means after a week that diaper bucket stinks! She used disposable for the next 3 kids but with her last one she decided to make her own, well I guess she bought a couple to try, then started making her own. They were very easy – little pants that you stuff with absorbant material – she had some w/hemp. Anyway she raved about this process and says this was the only child that never had diaper rash. I’m sure you can find info on the internet, but if you’d like to know what my sister liked best send me an email and I’ll ask her.
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First visit to your site in a year, and the Compassion essay is really resonating. I struggle with the “Why don’t they get this?” issue daily, esp at work. Sometimes I feel depleted/alone by how much I am drawn to being with/advocating for the many who need compassion (that’s everyone, actually), in our society that is so bereft in this necessity. I spend a lot of time (when I’m not one to one with individuals and/or their families) talking to coworkers (elder health care) about how to cultivate compassion, and our responsibility/privilege to do so. But still I hear/see lack of compassion so often that it can be overwhelmingly discouraging (individually, locally, nationally, globally). Then, when it feels hopeless or exhausting, I have to simply return to: “Well, I’ll simply work to make a difference today by seeing/addressing the heart of each person I meet, just as I would want the people I love to be treated.” Anyway, started reading a book recently called “Twelve Steps to a Compassionate Life” which is helping refocus me on the universal value of Compassion, and that it is not a lost cause. And reading your blog today helped restore my hope as well. So thank you.
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Its very interesting blog,keep it up!
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cool and awesome post!
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