My Granddad, Ralph Detzel, passed on from this life and received his ultimate healing on Monday morning. The phone buzzed early enough to worry about whatever news waited on the other end. I answered, listened, and only responded with “Oh…okay. I’ll be right there.”
I arrived at the hospital 20 minutes later and it was surreal to see his lifeless body lying there. His soul had gone and there was now an obvious vacancy. It hit most of us harder than we expected it to as if he had tricked us one last time. So many false alarms and so many recoveries. Even though he seemed so diminished, I think we still secretly believed he would pull through once again. Even if only to suffer a while longer. But, he went quickly and sprinted the last 100 yards of the marathon.
At 77 years old he took his last breath with his wife of 54 years sitting right beside him. She made the initial call and within the hour Ralph was surrounded by his boys. 4 sons, a brother-in-law, and his grandson. I looked around the room and felt an honor I can’t explain. We were his guys. The ones who were there for him when he needed us. What a privilege.
Romans 8:28 says,
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
In all things God works for the good…
Even during the bad…even in the suffering. And He did just that. When Granddad’s vitality went missing, we were invited to the search party. He couldn’t cut the grass anymore, so my Uncle Jay was there. Computer problems again and again…my dad and Uncle Eric were there. Needed rides to doctors appointments…my Uncle Jack and I were there.
We got to spend so much more time with him because he needed us to. I had more conversations with him in the past year than my previous 28 years combined. All of us did, and it was so good.
Most men use guns or bows to hunt…my Granddad used Beagles.
Most quiet men are shy and reserved…my Granddad was an excellent dancer who could Jitterbug circles around you.
Most hardworking mechanics lose their gentleness…my Granddad could throw darts and shoot pool like a champ.
I am going to miss him, but I also realize he was born to Heaven on that day and he has all the peace, rest, and happiness that he was missing out on these last few years. This brings a gladness to my heart and closure to the chapter.
Enjoy your eternal time Granddad, as one of God’s airborne troopers. We love you – see you soon.
Rest in peace, Ryan’s grandpa.
Think I’m going to go call mine.
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So sorry for your loss. Your words are beautiful and i’m sure he will tell you so when you see him again.
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This blog entry is a great tribute to your grandad.
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Rick G says:
September 7th, 2011 at 12:34 pm
@TheDan, I completely agreee with Dan. This is a great tribute to your grandfather. I’m sorry for your loss Ryan, but you well know that he’s at his homecoming and that’s something to be happy about. Keep him alive in your heart by remembering all the good things about him.
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Your temporary loss is Heaven’s gain this morning. Have no doubt he’ll be looking out for you…And while your new son is baking in the oven, don’t think your Granddad isn’t adding some of his good ingredients to the dough. A sprinkle of gentle strength, a whole lot of family love…
Prayers
Amber
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well said.
thank you.
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This makes me remember my grandfather, and I miss him terribly. He died on Christmas eve two years ago at 92. He was a WWII veteran (a fact tham I am immensely proud of),a farmer, well respected in his community, business owner, active in his church (he was youth group leader and the youth he led still come up and talk to me about how much they love and miss him), but the legacy he left with his grankids was so much deeper than that. He was not a perfect man, but I always basked in the warmth of his love and approval! Imperfect as we both know I am, he never made me feel inadequate in any way. He had such faith in my abilities and character, and that faith did me so much good. It made me try harder, have higher expectations of myself and my behavior and judgement -because if he believed it true of me then it must not be so completely unattainable!
As a little child he would take me with him in the truck as he picked up supplies for the family business. I could not have been older than 5. These are some of my favorite memories of him. He always got me a Souix City Sasparilla. As I grew older he talked of the Lord with us regularly. I remember visiting one weekend when I was about 12, and the youth pastor was gone from church that Sunday, so (as they do in small country churches) all the youth joined the adults for Sunday School. I’ll never forget that when he was asking questions, I raised my hand to answer and he called on me. He looked so pleased and proud when I answered correctly.
We lost him long before he died. He suffered from alzhiemers and lost all recollection of family members years before his death. The last time I saw him was exceedingly painful. He mistook me for the marry-in (my husband is a redhead and there is a strong redhead vein in the family) and told me that my husband was good sonce he was a boy, and I had married into a wonderful family. It was painful and I mourned him years before his death.
One Christmas when I was a teen we were watching “It’s a Wonderful Life” and he said, “When you think about it, we do not know just how many people our lives effect!” He proceeded to talk about his salvation and how that had already effected 3 generations. He came to know Christ as an adult, and left a legacy of children who love God and raised their kids to love God (who are now rising their own children in the same way!) I am so grateful for the influence he had on my life. And you and I, Ryan, will have the same influence. One day the fruit of what we do now will be etched on the hearts and minds of our children and their children. We will have the same legacy, the same influence for either good or ill! That is a sobering thought to me and makes me work harder and complain less.
I’ll be praying for you as you mourn. I’ll pray for God to comfort you and your family as only He can.
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Ryan,
So sorry for your loss.
I lost both grandparents over 2 years ago and still remember the feeling of getting that phone call.
You said it right though: there’s such unexplainable peace in knowing they are now finally healed and at rest. (And I’m so glad that the Healer is also our Comforter.)
Thanks for sharing – your words always have impact. Prayers for you & the family…
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Godspeed Grandpa, Godspeed….
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Ryan, I am so sorry to hear of your loss and was sincerely touch by your beautiful story of grandpa’s
last days. Family means so much and the little things
we do really are the biggest. God bless you and your
family.
Karen Campbell
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My condolences. God bless Grandpa.
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This was lovely. Your love was evident as was his stature as a man. I only knew one of my grandfathers (the other passed before I was born). He was a remarkable man too. I hope my children have memories of talking with my father as I do of talking with his.
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Amen
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I’m sorry about your Grandpa. My Pappy passed away 4 years ago at age 91. He was also a WW2 veteran. He always had a sparkle in his eyes. Something about men from that generation. Real men. My heart goes out to you.
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A beautiful tribute.
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Thank you for sharing a little of your grandpa with us. Reminded me of my own grandpa. I miss him.
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How joyous that his guys were there for him and he was there for you. Great pictures, thank you for sharing.
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I’m so sorry for your loss, Ryan. I am sure you find comfort in the time you were able to spend with your grandfather in his last year. You wrote a wonderful tribute, thank you for sharing.
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I’m so sorry, Ryan. I felt much the same way when my mother died, after illness had decimated her; I knew that where she is now, she’s happy, free from illness, reunited with her brother and her parents, and in the presence of the God she loves. In the days and weeks after she died I also felt, and it’s hard to describe, oddly peaceful, almost like I was in a protective bubble. I pray for that peace and comfort for you and your family. Thanks for telling us about your grandfather.
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We got to spend so much more time with him because he needed us to.
Wow, what a great way to look at it. Not as a chore or a burden (for either of you) but an OPPORTUNITY. I’m going to try to remember that. Beautiful post, Ryan.
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Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family Ryan. What an amazing man to know – thank you for sharing him with us.
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I’m sorry to hear of the loss of your grandpa. You are so blessed to have had him around for so long! Sounds like a wonderful man.
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Oh, Ryan (and family), I am sorry for the loss. This is a beautiful post and the pictures are wonderful. I was just thinking of my Granddaddy the other night; he died about nine years ago. I was thinking about all of these wonderful things, and just how much he loved me, and all his grandkids. It’s funny how sometimes you think of things out of the blue like that and you remember. And it hurts, but it’s sweet, too. I know you have many memories, and I’m glad that a lot of them are recent and precious. Blessings, peace, comfort for you all. In Him…C
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Beautiful post honoring a beautiful person, Ryan. Please know we’re keeping all of you in our prayers.
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Very nice post. The article in the Enquirer is nice as well. You were certainly blessed to have him in your life!
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Looking forward to hearing his stories in eternity – he was a handsome manly looking man – glad you got an opportunity to know him more deeply before he went Home.Well written tribute
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Dear Ryan,
Please accept my sympathy for your loss. What a beuatiful tribute you have written to your grandfather. Thoughts and prayers to you and your family in the coming days for comfort and peace.
Karen
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I’ve mostly been reading through Jimmy Kimmel’s loss of his Uncle today. He did an excellent monologue last night about the things he remembered about his uncle. Recently, I’ve been in contact via facebook with the grandson of the woman that was my baby sitter growing up. She was more of a grandmother to me than either of my legitimate grandmothers were.
Over the past month, a friend of mine lost her father rather suddenly. She’s from Taiwan, and they follow the traditions there, where you mourn the loss of the person.
I’ve always thought that this is a bit of a shame. Sure, the person has passed, but there’s nothing you can do about that. I’ve long since thought that the New Orleans style of having a party for the person recently passed is an excellent tradition.
While I totally understand this post – I want to know more about this excellent person. Who was he? What are the family stories about him? What are your stories about him? Reading about Jimmy Kimmel’s uncle (http://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/6896998/page/2/dawn-mailbag) reveals a spectacular life, but I think everyone has a spectacular life, but only some people know it, unlike Jimmy Kimmel’s Uncle. Tell us about it.
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I have always believed that our physical bodies develop a resonance with those closest to us, and when their spirit is no longer in that earthly body, we feel the loss of that resonance, making it a physical loss as well. Rest easy and love yourself and your own as you readjust to the loss. Peace is already to your grandfather, now peace I pray for you.
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Condolences. A beautiful tribute indeed.
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I’m sorry for your loss… Great men are shaking hands and enjoying greeting one another, I’m certain. It’s us who suffer the loss – it is us who has the pain, and it is us who look forward to one day joining them.
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I know of nothing more difficult than losing the men we love and admire. I know nothing more peace-giving than full assurance that they’ve entered a perfect rest with Jesus. My Dad died in March at 66 and I remain heartbroken but not without hope. If you feel led, feel free to read my blog (written during his illness/leading up to his death). If you don’t, that’s okay, too. God bless you.
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Sorry for your loss….What a great post in his memory…I am sure he is very proud to have a grandson like you!
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Missing your words, your presence here. Praying all is well with you, and your sweet family. God bless you, Ryan….
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Just read the tribute by Cousin Jenny and yours again. Beautiful word play that made me weep again. I went to My granddad and grandmas place of rest today just to say I’m happy your youngest is back in your embrace and out of his painful existence. Reminded me of how much I miss them and how much they loved me. They loved me,loved me, loved me, loved me. And I Them.
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what a beautiful story and a beautiful picture of him to go with it. His eyes . . . it looks like he’s looking right into our souls. now I need to go find the kleenex.
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My deepest condolences, Ryan. What a beautiful tribute this was. He sounds like a very special Granddad.
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Oh Ryan, what a beautiful tribute to your Grandfather, I know that he’s resting in peace and looking down upon you all from Heaven. My Grandma passed a few weeks ago at the age of 90, and while we’re all happy that her suffering and decline are over, I miss her so very much.
Your Grandpa sounds like an absolutely amazing man.
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Such beautiful words. I know that ‘death is a part of life’, but I have a hard time believing those that act as if death has no sting, no bite. Death sucks. Yes, it is great for them on the other side, but no matter how happy we are that someone is no longer suffering, it hurts. The words that you wrote paraphrase the intense emotions that go into it all. What extremes you have faced in the past few weeks.
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I am behind in blog reading and just reading this now. I am so, so sorry for your loss. What a cool looking man. But know that it appears that he lived a very full life, and full of adventure. That is what we all wish for.
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I work at NPRC and we house military records. Depending on when your grandfather was discharged you could get copies of his records. You can go to this website and check it out.
http://vetrecs.archives.gov
Great story!
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It hurts badly when that last false alarm is real. I’m sorry.
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