Jungle Jim's of course. For those of you who haven't experienced the greatness that is Jungle Jim's...I am truly sorry. It is the cheese to my macaroni. The Simon to my Garfunkel. Jungle Jim's is the epitome of foodie-land. You just can't beat six acres of food under one roof.



I haven't been out there in a few months so I decided to make some time for a trip. I needed several ingredients that are hard to find in common grocery stores...good ole' JJ's never has a problem filling my cart. Part of the experience is sight-seeing and part of it is out of necessity.



As far as necessities go; I was out of salt. Kosher salt that is...this clearly falls into the necessity category as I am a huge proponent for properly seasoning some grub. I'm not entirely sure anything else I bought would be considered a necessity however. Maybe the Scotch Bonnets?
Nah. Hmm...what about the High Mountain Midnight Popcorn...or the Hank's Vanilla Cream Soda? I guess it depends on your definition of necessity.





Mostly I love the atmosphere of Jungle Jim's. It's like a melting pot of cultures and smells and sights...onto the sightseeing part:

Mmm...Pork Snout.


Mary had a little...


Oh, don't be so pig-headed.


You know what they say...4 heads are better than one.

Sometimes you buy large containers of almonds at Sam's club only to realize that you don't really like plain almonds all that much. This can lead to Marzipan.

First things first - let's toss 4 cups of almonds into our handy dandy little food processor and grind them up. We should end up with something like this:



Now let us combine 2/3 cup water and 2 cups of sugar (organic cane sugar of course...haha with my pinky in the air for added fanciness) in a sauce pan.





Pop that sauce pan onto the stove and begin melting the sugar and water together over a medium heat.

Now we need to grab a couple of farm-fresh eggs. (thanks Melanie!)



Separate the whites from the eggs and toss the yolks...or you could eat the raw yolks Hulk Hogan style...it's up to you really.





Now lets check back on our sugar water and give it a stir.



At this time it would be good to get an ice water bath started. In the sink is probably easiest.



See this stuff?



Measure out about 1/4 teaspoon. Mix that in with the sugar water mixture.



After the Cream of Tartar is mixed in...we need to bring the sugar up to a boil for about 3 minutes or so. If you've got a candy thermometer you will want it around 240°...I've got a digital thermometer that is fairly accurate, so I just made sure it was withing range.



After a few minutes of this:



Toss some powdered sugar on to a cutting board or clean workspace.



Now get that mixture cooled down by placing the pan into the ice water bath and keep stirring it until it gets thick.





Now that the mixture has thickened a bit, we can add our egg whites and almonds.





Now throw that mix back onto the stove over medium heat until it all mixes up together and becomes like a paste.



Spread your powdered sugar around the cutting board area and dump out your Marzipan to cool.



You can move it around until it stays and doesn't run off the edges...allow the Marzipan to cool until it's pliable.



It should look a little something like this:



Now this part is optional. I've got cocoa powder and a little cinnamon mixed into a bowl.



Pinch off a piece of Marzipan and roll it into a small ball. Now roll that ball around in the cocoa/cinnamon mix.



You end up with little Marzipan Truffles.



Dust them with a little powdered sugar and you've got a treat fit for anyone. Careful though...this little boogers are addictive.

If I had to pick something to eat over and over every for either lunch or dinner...that item would have to be a Chipotle Burrito Bowl.

Rice. Black or Pinto Beans. Chicken. Cheese. Sour Cream. Hot Salsa. Oh how the Lord is good.

I can honestly say that I've eaten more Chipotle at this point than any other restaurant food in my life and I have yet to get sick of it. The worst it's even been was probably 4 times in one week. I know, I know.

But look:

I typically get the burrito bol, but every now and then I've got a craving for regular burrito with all it's tortilla goodness.

Here's my standard issue:

My Chipotle Burrito:

Chipotle Fan.com

I'm curious if I ate it every day for two weeks what would happen. This is an experiment I might have to conduct some day.

So what's your thing? What could you eat over and over and never get tired of it?

I recently returned from a week long hiatus in Florida. My friend Jon (who is from God knows where) says everyone from Ohio vacations in Florida and it's like we don't know how to go anywhere else or something. He's a real dope sometimes.

Anywho...while I was away, mid-trip, I had a serious hankering. You know, one of those times when you get something in your head and you just can't imagine anything else. I wanted an egg salad sandwich. So I made one. You should too.

Start with some eggs. Don't count these...the amount doesn't really matter. Fill up your pan, pot, vessel of choice with enough water to cover the eggs by an inch or so. Pop them on the stove and turn the heat up to high. Let the eggs sit there until the water boils. At this point, remove the pan from the heat and let them sit in the hot water for 12 minutes.


Now that you've waited twelve minutes...run cold water over the eggs until they're cooled off.


Now I don't know about you, but I'm not a huge fan of Celery. It's okay, I use it when I need to. If I don't need to however, I'll use something else.

Enter Cucumber. Chop it up...leave a few extra slices for snacking.


Now zoom in on it to make sure you've chopped it thoroughly.


Now get out a couple other things...I chose Mayonnaise and Old Bay.


Your eggs should be cool by now. Get those babies out of the water and start peeling. Since this is a family-friendly site, I'll spare you the images of egg smooshing. Just smoosh them up good with a fork. Add about a tablespoon of mayo for every two eggs and a dash of seasoning. You can use just salt and pepper if you like. You'd be a real dope though. Toss in your Cucumber and mash it all together.


Toast up some bread, add a slice of lettuce and you're set for a delicious egg salad sandwich. Mmm. Veggcation Salad Sandwich.


Come on now...you can't mess this one up. And I don't want to hear any "Eww, that's gross!" comments from you egg-haters out there. If you do wish to bust on the ultimate eating marvel, you must do so in the form of poetry.

Ryan's Egg Salad:

X number of Hard-Boiled Eggs
1 Tbsp Mayo per 2 Eggs
Old Bay Seasoning
Chopped Cucumber (to taste)

Breakfast in general really. It's my favorite meal of the day and yet it's usually the one I'll skip out on if I'm too busy. I'm extremely busy today...I sense that I might go insane from how busy I am with work stuff today...therefore I am writing a blog entry to balance myself out a little bit.

I also forced myself to cook some breakfast for Ava and I so we could spend at least some quality time together. During that time I realized that I truly do love Goetta. Goetta is the king of breakfast meats in my humble opinion. I like it better than Bacon or Sausage. Bacon is a close second though. Give me a couple poached eggs and some buttered toast with my Goetta and I'm in Heaven. There's an entire festival dedicated to my beloved...seriously.

So what is your favorite meal of the day? What's your ultimate dish?

...when it's so easy to make.

I had some items in the fridge and cupboard that were all close to being empty. What to do? How about throw down some Honey Vinaigrette?

Here's what I had:


* 3/4 cup Olive Oil
* 1/4 cup Sherry Vinegar
* 2 heaping tbsp Local Wildflower Honey
* 1 tbsp Ketchup
* 1 tbsp Mayonnaise
* 1 pinch of Kosher Salt
* 1 pinch Fresh Ground Peppah

I tossed it all into a mixing cup so I didn't have to dirty extra dishes.


And then I whisked it all together so it looked like this:


And then I dumped it into my newly empty Honey container.

And then I ate it and it was delectable.

And then Ava hit me with a flying clothesline.


The End.

This Valentine's day I'm going all out. Allison is in for a real treat. I'm getting her...

...nothing.

We've decided not to celebrate one of the dumbest holidays ever Valentine's day. Every day is Valentine's day to romantic scoundrels like us...bahaha! We plan on hanging out together and I'll cook us up some NY Strips with Mashed Potatoes and some leafy Greens. Who knows, we might even play Scrabble or watch a movie!! Throw in a trip to Home Depot and it might put us over the edge. The important part is that we'll be doing it. You know...it. That's what married couples are supposed to do. If you're married, and you aren't doing it...you had better be close to dead or maybe ridden with Leprosy. Otherwise...you should be doing it.

Single people out there...it's something you should aspire to. Don't do it unless you're married kids. Trust me...it's not nearly as awesome.

On another note - I am currently PTLing *oh, that's praising the Lord* about the fact that a coffeehouse / restaurant has opened up right by the hobby store where I work a few days a week. There has been absolutely NOTHING to eat around here! If I happen to forget to bring something for lunch...I'm normally doomed. No more! Tag's Coffeehouse has opened up and I couldn't be more excited. I got a great chicken salad sandwich there today...it was scrumdiddlyumptious. I got a latte too...don't tell!

After I leave here I'll be heading to a meeting with Tim, my Pastah, to discuss a hundred of my dreams and goals for 2008. Oh yeah baby...

That's that!

After locking myself down for about 6 straight hours of administrative work, I needed to remove myself from the home office. I still had a good bit of work ahead of me, but I knew I wasn't going to be very productive if I didn't get some fresh air.

So I headed downtown to see what kind of trouble I could get into. I've been thinking of swinging by Findlay Market recently so I decided to take myself up on the offer.

Outside it was bright and vibrant, but the outside shops and stands were not to be found. I guess they're only out there on the weekends.


Inside was a bit dismal and empty as well...I must be in the wrong place.


Ahh...the middle section...that's where the action is.


My first stop was at the Herbs and Spice and Everything Nice shop. Picked out some excellent stuff for a great price.




They had cool stuff all over the place. It was a nice little photo excursion for me.



I picked up some Spanish Chorizo while I was there. Little did those sausages know they would be made into an amazing Hispanic rice and vegetable dish later. Mmm...it was good.


Does a bear poop in the woods? Of course I picked up some cheese.


I thought this guy was pretty cool. He tasted himself a piece of Pastrami every 3 or 4 slices as he cut them for me.


One of the coolest things was the sign I saw on a ghetto street near the market. It speaks volumes for/to our city.

A twenty dollar bill and 4 singles are stuffed in my pocket as I pull up to the window at Dunkin' Donuts. I'm able to justify spending 3 bucks on a large Vanilla Latte at the donut shop rather than 5 bucks at Starbucks. This gives my guilt acquittal and allows me to sleep at night.

<*static*> "Please pull up to the window sir." <*static*>

As I pull up my car is still ice-cold and I can't wait hug my coffee and use it to warm my rigid chassis. I hate the cold. I'm sick all winter long and to be honest it just sucks.

<*window opens*> "That'll be $3.20 sir...and here...try a free sample of our new hash browns." I hand her the money and think to myself, Don't mind if I do. <* window closes*>

Eighty cents change comes my way and by now I've already consumed the tiny delicious sample of hash browns. I want more of them, but I don't want more of them. I drive onward to things of business with Andrew Jackson gasping for air within the capsule of my jeans. Poor little guy...he'll be okay. I can't ever seem to keep any presidents held hostage in there too long. Nothing to worry about Mr. Jackson...you'll be free soon enough.

After a couple of hours I forget that Andrew is even there. He doesn't take up much space and I am consumed with other thoughts. Consumed, that is, until I reach the grocery store. You see I've got some men to feed tonight. Men who will arrive at my home for spiritual insight and challenges. Men who will arrive for food. I want to feed them something healthy tonight...I think Baked Chicken in a light pan sauce with *Mirepoix Couscous will do the trick.

I gather up my missing ingredients and I head for the check-out line. This is where I remember Andrew. He's in my pocket. He's ready to help me out when I need him. So long as I have less than $20 worth of stuff I can use him. Hmm...I think this weird lasagna thing I'm having for lunch might put me over the top. Sorry Andrew, I think I might have to use my debit card.

The lady in front of me is fumbling about.

She can't seem to locate her payment method and she is searching frantically for it. I feel for her as this just happened to me last week. A friend of mine used my debit card and then attempted to steal it from me...or forgot to return it to me in a totally innocent manner...I can't remember which. Either way, I got up to pay for something and I didn't have my payment method. This kind of thing can make one feel totally helpless AND dumb.

The cashier keeps the line moving. She postpones this lady's transaction and gets mine moving. I sneak a peek at the woman's total before the cashier starts ringing in my items and it's $19.82...I remember because that's the year I was born...and because I'm OCD...and I'm a spy. My items are scanned in and my total comes to something I can't remember which bugs the crap out of me because it means I'm not being a very good OCD spy. Blast.

I use my debit card to pay. I stare spyishly over at the lady who is still searching for a way to pay for her goods. The Holy Spirit whispers to me, "Use Andrew, Use Andrew." I decide not to argue with Him since He's right even more often than my wife is and I can't possibly win this one.

I grab Andrew by the throat and I yank him towards the lady. I say..."Here, use this." She looks at me as if I were purple and just had hot magma pour from my face holes. We squabble for a moment and she gives in finally to receive Andrew as another temporary owner.

The woman, defeated, calms down and says gently, "But I don't even know what your name is." To which I responded, running backwards, "I'm just someone who loves Jesus."

She looked at me and simply said, "Okay."

I'm still a little confused as to why she didn't fall on her knees to receive salvation then and there like they describe in cheesy Christian devotionals. For me though, I couldn't have asked for a more excellent anti-climactic comment such as, "Okay."

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*Mirepoix (meer eh pwah) which means cuisine, is a traditional French cooking base for many, many things. It's made up of 2 parts onion, 1 part carrot, and 1 part celery. It is actually known as the "Holy Trinity" of cooking. If you start with a good Mirepoix...it's almost difficult to make the food bad from there.

Below is a video tutorial of how to make some awesome Guacamole. Now while I normally know full-well just how strange I am, I must admit I did question some things about myself after creating this video. Oh well...

It's nearing the end of November, but if you ask me Christmas time is here. A copious amount of consumerism is attacking our senses at every turn. Sales are not what excite me this time of year though, it's the opportunity we have to let people know that we care about them.

Sure we can do this any time, but for me the holidays are an excellent excuse to give relationally to people without them thinking I'm a total weirdo.

We don't have a whole lot of money to toss around this year so we're exploring some inexpensive, yet meaningful ideas to show people we love them. Instead of putting Christmas on a credit card, we're making some serious cinnamon rolls. *see above*

So far we've made up and given away about 30 pans of these gooey masterpieces. The reaction we receive after people taste them is nothing short of reverence. I'll post a link for a how-to on these particular cinnamon rolls if you'd like to join that train, but I'm also interested in finding out what you're planning to do for the people around you.

About a dozen of us experienced the best turkey of our lives yesterday...and yes I cooked it. This isn't a brag on myself though...credit for this delicious bird has to go to the Pioneer Woman and Alton Brown. Wow...those two made my Thanksgiving much easier.

I made a 15-pound turkey and I expected to have about 5 pounds left over. In fact, we only had about 5 ounces left over. It was that good. I'm so glad I took the leap and brined the turkey this year. If you're cooking the turkey next year for Thanksgiving...you simply must try this.

Grandma has held the Thanksgiving Dinner feather in her hat for over 50 years and she decided to hand it over to me this year. I was honored and at some point I was pooping my pants obsessing about it. I wanted everything to be perfect. I like to tell other people that perfection isn't possible, but that doesn't count for me. Everything didn't go perfectly, but it was great. Family members who normally complain about everything didn't have anything negative to say at all. They were too busy stuffing turkey, dressing, mashed potatoes and gravy, green bean casserole, roasted butternut squash, clover rolls, corn on the cob, and cranberry sauce into their gills.

I've been receiving thank you calls and praise reports all day. I absolutely love to cook and entertain. If I wasn't married to a smokin' hot trophy wife even I would think I'm gay.

You may want to put a helmet on for the following exercise. After tasting what we are about to create...you may fall down. I've fainted countless times after tasting this Hot Bliss. I wouldn't want you to get hurt...consider this your only warning.

This really is the easiest thing to make ever. Well...maybe not as easy as Easy Cheese being squirted into your mouth, but I think the payoff is much better. I made this up one evening during a severe case of the munchies...I've never been the same.

* Let's start with our ingredients: The only things you need are pre-made cookie dough and an oven-safe rammekin...the red thing. Turn your oven on to broil.

Okay have you ever heard of that book How to win friends and influence people? They could have shortened that book up quite a bit just by showing you what I'm about to show you.

I was recently in Vancouver Canada for a week and I had an opportunity to make this for a group of 15 people. Those Canadians began to smile and laugh at my jokes after I served them this masterpiece. Canadians smiling and laughing should be proof in itself. This meal...is holy.

Let's see our stars of the evening shall we?

We've got some Italian Herbs (fancy variety of course), Frozen Pizza Dough, Pepperoni Slices, a 1lb hunk of Mozzarella, a stick of Butter, and some fresh Garlic.

First things first. I let this ball of frozen pizza dough sit out for about 2 hours to thaw. Did you know they sell this stuff at almost every grocery store? It's typically by the garlic bread...now you know. This is a small bag...it's good for one pizza crust or, in this case, one stromboli.



Toss said dough blob onto the counter and start working it. By working it I just mean moving it around in your hands to get it to room temperature...it'll be much easier to work with that way.
You can use shredded cheese for this too. I've done provalone and it works great as well.

Now what did you do with the butter? Yes, butter...don't fudge this up by using margarine. Butter makes everything better. Melt down your stick of butter and add about 2-3 tablespoons of your Italian Herbs. Toss your garlic in there too.

Now after you've stirred that all around you can begin spreading it onto the dough. Go on...go nuts with it. Just make sure you leave about half of the butter for later.

Transfer that baby over to a sheet pan and start slathering on the rest of that herb butter.

Pop that baby into the 300 degree oven for an hour and check out what's waiting for you. Sprinkle on some more Italian herbs to make a point and wait for your new friends to arrive.

Add a bowl of your favorite pizza or spaghetti sauce for dipping and your life is now complete.

If I never have to hear Rachel Ray say "E V O O" again I will be a happy person. If you have no idea what I'm talking about...that's good.

Onto my next point.

I want to talk about Olive Oil for a moment. If you're not regularly using Olive Oil in your cooking routine, you need to change something. Olive Oil and butter are my two closest friends in the kitchen. I don't go anywhere without them. They're great listeners and they have an excellent sense of humor. I'm going to continually capitalize the "Os" in Olive Oil because it means that much to me.

I'm not going to go into details on why Olive Oil is so important for the success of your food right now though. Right now I want to show you a cheap Do-It-Yourself project that is super easy and useful.

Let's get on with it:

First of all...see this thing? This Olive Oil dispenser will run you about $25 - $30. Repeat after me. "Do not want. Do not want. Do not want." Don't buy this thing. I know we like buying things just like everyone else but I say we take this opportunity to save some cash and we get to personalize something we're going to be using a lot in our kitchen.

Alrighty then. To get started we're going to need a big ole' jug (or can) of Olive Oil and an empty bottle wine with a cool label. You can use a wine bottle that doesn't have a cool label if you're a dork...that would be acceptable as well.

This particular wine was $5.99. Big money I know...but, it had such a sweet label. I like to buy Olive Oil in bulk because it's much cheaper that way. This big can was on sale at Jungle Jim's (the greatest supermarket on the planet) for just $12. If I were to buy a bunch of little containers of oil it would have been a ton of moolah.



Next you'll need one of these handy dandy oil dispensers. I got mine from a cooking store in the area for less than a dollar. I also have a baby bottle nipple for a funnel. If you've ever poured oil from one container to another...you know it has a tendency to "glug".


Cut the top off of the nipple. There has got to be a better word for that part of the bottle.

Aight.


Glug away.

Pop the oil dispenser top onto the bottle and wouldja lookit that. You've got a fancy schmancy Olive Oil dispenser for next to nothing in cost.
Fancy schmancy Olive Oil dispensers won't protect you from flowers running through your kitchen though...so I hope you weren't expecting that to happen.

I have no idea what this recipe is actually called. I made it up...and yet I'm sure that I didn't make it up. Certainly someone made this up before me and has a really cool name for what it is. If so, please let me know. Thanks.

We're cooking for two tonight...well, two and a quarter actually. The baby won't eat much though.

Let's start with some frozen chicken boobs. You're going to want to thaw said chicken boobs before moving on to the next step. I left mine out on the counter top for about an hour and then I popped them in the microwave (on defrost) for about a minute or so.

Preheat your oven to 375 degrees.

Here's what they looked like after I trimmed off some "cooked" edges from the defrost being too strong:

And we would now like to welcome to the stage tonight's cast and crew:

We're going to begin this evening's dinner with the browning of chicken boobs. To make these chicken boobs golden-brown and delicious we must first start with a very young chicken...er...egg.

Our next guest will also aid in the browning of said chicken boobs. Some bread crumbs if you will...go ahead make a good sized pile. A half-cup or so...

So as not to achieve blandness we must season these breadcrumbs with some tasty little party favors. Someone I always like to invite is Mr. Lawry's Chicken Seasoning...always a welcome guest with my poultry. I'd give it about 8-10 good shakes. That translates to approx. 2-3 tablespoons.


After taking out some pent up aggression on our poor defenseless egg, drop the chicken breast into the bowl for a nice coating.

Now dip the chicken into the breadcrumb mix...

I tend to return the breaded chicken back to the egg one more time and then give it a second run in the breadcrumbs. I've found that this gives you a good thick coating as well as a nice sturdy breading that won't crumble and flake off of the chicken when you cook it.

And this is what you should end up with at the end:


Now you're going to want to add about 2 - 3 tablespoons of butter to a good oven-safe pan (if you have one...if not just use a non-stick frying pan). Crank the heat up to medium-high and drizzle about 3 or 4 tablespoons of olive oil over the butter.

I like to use oil and butter for a good flavor/not burn ratio. The olive oil has a higher smoke point than the butter does. If I were to use just butter for this it would end up burning up on me.

After the butter and olive oil join together to make something beautiful you can go ahead and add your chicken.

After you get your chicken breasts into the pan I would let them become something glorious on each side for about 2-3 minutes.

Here's what you should see after a few minutes on each side. *tears up*

Now there's going to be a good bit of "stuff" stuck to the bottom of the pan since it's not non-stick...that's a good thing. We can get that flavorful "stuff" off the bottom of the pan by deglasing it with some chicken broth.



Dump about a cup or so of this chicken broth into the hot pan and viola!! The naughty chicken bits have lifted. This will pretty much immediately resemble a sauce of some sort.

Told ya:

Stop!! Don't do it!! I know you will want to eat it at this point but, it's not worth it...there's still so much more flavor to experience!! Besides that...the chicken is still raw inside.

It's now time to add the little cans of mushrooms (yes you can use fresh, blah, blah, blah) to the outside perimeter of the pan. Make sure you drain the liquid off the mushrooms first...and don't put the mushies on the chicken itself. That piece of real estate has already been saved for someone else.

Now for some seasoning! Toss a little more of that Lawry's stuff on the chicken and add a good amount of garlic powder onto the mushrooms...it gives em' that sauteed flavor.

Note: I'm using granulated garlic powder, not garlic salt. I don't want my body to go into a sodium overload tonight. The chicken broth was low sodium as well...I like to be able to control how much salt is in my food.

Last step before the oven: Add a cheese slice to the top of the chicken. I had some provalone in the fridge so that will do...shredded cheese works to. I've used cheddar, swiss, mozzarella, etc.. all with a little bit different results. The provalone is a great choice for this...


Now this is where boys become real women. Take your all metal (no rubber on the handle) pan and pop it into the pre-heated 375 degree oven for about 25 minutes.

25 minutes later and something magical has happened. This ugly little caterpillar has transformed into a beautiful butterfly.

Have a look:

I told you you should have trusted me. You owe me big on this one. Absolutely perfect.

Serve it up along-side your favorite veggie and get ready to experience something blissful.

Bon appetite!

Okay...fine. I'm going to share something that I find interesting with you. No making fun. Martha Stewart wants to be like me in the kitchen. It's true. She just hasn't come right out and said it yet. But, I know she's thinking it.

This will serve approx. 8-12 humans.

Let's start out with my trusty rusty iron skillet. This thing probably weighs in at about 20lbs empty, but if I only had one pan on a deserted island...this would be it.


And now onto the meats! Yes I said meats. If you want to have a more delectable meat sauce you're going to have to pull out the pork. The big hunk-o-meat in the pan is about 1 and 1/2lbs of ground beef. The smaller hunk-o-meat is, believe it or not, a 1lb package of breakfast sausage.


Now you're going to want to combine these two meats together over medium high heat.


Alrighty then. Now that the hunk-o-meats is brownin' up together we can move on to our other ingredients. We've got some dried parsley and basil flakes, a couple small cans of good tomato paste, a big-ole can of diced tomatoes (I used san marzanos for this...a little more pricey than basic but, I'm worth it.), and some fresh cloves of garlic.


Let's get that garlic chopped up shall we? Here's a little tip: to get the garlic cloves out of their protective skins you can give them a good whack with a heavy can or put your knife down flat against one and pop it with your wrist.


This isn't really a mince...a mince is smaller than this I think. This is more of a mance. I'm pretty sure I just made that word up.


Now that my meat mixture has browned up nicely I'm going to add the garlic. I didn't add the garlic while the meat was browning because by the time the meat got cooked through the garlic could have burnt up. Bitter, burnt up garlic isn't good for meatsauce awesomeness.


Depending on what kind of human you are...you're probably going to want to drain some of the excess fat off of the cooked meat. Notice I didn't say drain off all the fat...I get rid of about half of it. Everything in moderation...including moderation. I used a turkey baster thing but, you can just use a spoon if you like wasting time.


Dump em' maters in thar. Mix em' round.


Now let's add the tomato paste, about 4 tablespoons of parsley and 3 tablespoons of basil.


Once this is mixed up it should start to resemble something edible. You'll probably want to turn the heat down to a medium low for some simmering action now.