Incognito
–adjective

1.	having one's identity concealed, as under an assumed name, esp. to avoid notice or formal attentions.

Some will always say, "Pics or it didn't happen."

Well...it happened. Ryan Doan is working at Starbucks and even though he has requested to work only during the day...they scheduled him for Friday and Saturday night from 7pm to 12:30am. This kind of injustice will often result in an incognito adventure.

Allison and I have gone incognito on many occasions. The basic idea is that you show up somewhere in public with disguises on. Trying to keep a straight face is a personal goal of mine. The payoff is when someone you know sees you dressed incognito. Priceless I tell ya.

Allison, Carrie, Ava, and I traveled incognito on Saturday evening at approximately 10:32pm. The photos tell the story.

Building relationships with people is easy. Let me rephrase that. Building relationships with people is hard. Man was not created to be alone. We were created for community and anyone you meet without that community inherently lacks much in the blessing department of this life.

I suppose building relationships can become easier, as it can be a natural outflow of the love we have in our hearts. But, to say it's an easy process would be somewhat deceptive. Here are some things I've noticed:

* We have to get over ourselves. If I submit to my introverted nature, I'm not willing to put myself out there for the fear of rejection or just plain laziness. Often I've experienced a great relationship boost with someone just by sharing something about myself against my better judgment. I'll typically err on the side of divulging too much information about who I am for the possible benefit of a sparked connection. It's tough, and it's scary, and sometimes it doesn't work out...but it's worth it. I can't tell you how many guys I've told something along the lines of "Yeah, I've really had serious struggles with pornography over the years." Only to have that guy call me a couple weeks later to start the process of getting some help.

* We have to reach further. My friend Lee has always commented on the painting of God and man on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. It would seem that God is outstretched entirely reaching with all His might to make contact while Adam leans back casually, only to barely lift his left hand. Wow, what an effort Adam. This is not uncommon. There will almost always be a catalyst for the relationship and that has to be us. If we get ourselves into a place of thinking, well they don't even try to make this work...it's like a one way attempt. - YOU'RE RIGHT! They probably don't know how to make it work. Maybe they're shy. Maybe they haven't experienced good friendships and they're slow to trust. They need extra prompting and you're the person to provide it. We must be willing to sacrifice our pride for the amazing thing that will replace it.

* We have to do it again and again. When I'm shot down from someone in some way my inclination is to write them off. My heart becomes a little harder and I'm even slower to try again with someone else. It's been said that we must keep our hearts soft and allow our feet to become hard. A calloused heart is no good at all, but the callouses on our feet let us walk even further on this journey. Someone screwed you over? Forgive them. Restore the relationship as best you can. Release their throat from your grip. You put yourself out there only to be squished? Try again. Get creative and love them where they are. Put the ball in their court and let them know that you're there whenever they're ready. A soft heart and hard feet. The journey is the destination.

P.S. - I called my mom yesterday and wished her a happy Mother's Day. I've not done that in a few years. We talked for about 15 minutes and it was good.

Dream with me. What could a community garden look like?